I miss you so much Dad. I still can't believe this is real, I just keep hoping it's all just a horrible nightmare that I will wake up from any minute now. But I never do, and your still gone. I'd give anything for you to be here still, to sit around watching war movies with you or go through all your coins again. To have you cook your favorite corn beef and cabbage again, which I've always disliked but now just pray for the smell to fill the house again. To get another voicemail from you, you always left a voicemail every time you called, even when there was nothing to say, you'd just say Hi. You were suppose to be there for the 4th of July, we already planned it; and for Jake's 1st birthday, and Kathy's wedding, your flight is already booked, and Halloween and Christmas. Claire keeps asking where you are and why we are all so sad, she said "it's ok mommy, we'll go see grandpa on Friday". It destroys me inside to think she may not remember you when she grows up, and that you'll never get to see Jake learn to walk or talk. This is not fair, there was so much left to do. My heart is shattered.