No matter how many years go by the pain of you being gone is still here. Miss you brother.

Yesterday was your birthday, and I realize how much my life is forever changed without you. I learned so much from you, and just wish I hadn't taken our time for granted. Since i was little, you were always the hero, and in my mind, you were immortal. I thought, no matter what, it was going to be okay, since until then, it had been. I realize how childish that was, and how that thinking made a bad situation so much worse. I love you dad, and I miss you more than i know how to express.

The pain is still here but now you have Pam with you. Still love you brother and miss you.

I love you dad. Finally, I'm doing what I should have done long ago. I stopped running, stopped using drugs, and am dealing with your death clear headed and straight on. Its harder than I ever imagined, but not as hard as the denial and suffering I put myself through by running from the fact that you are no longer here to make my world so much better, just by being you. Thank you for everything you taught me, and I have finally pulled my head out of my ass, like you definitely would have suggested. I love you, and miss you terribly.

Still too hard. Miss you brother.

Ah dad, I miss you so much, its so hard for me to accept that you aren't here with me anymore. MY best friend, my co conspirator, my biggest fan, my hero for life. I love you so much and even though you are in a better place, my tears still fall freely as I think of you and the impact you made, and how you loved me unconditionally and were the most amazing father a girl could have ever asked for, I miss everything, but I am grateful that I got to have such a good parent.