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February 3, 2020
From our very first date Kofi challenged me to be more open to life’s vagaries, and it set the tone for a deep and lasting friendship.

We’d gone for a light dinner at the African Village, Labadi Beach Hotel and scrutinized a brand-new copy of Virginia Ryan's coffee table book that I brought along to show off. The book was based on an exhibition of paintings Ms. Ryan had curated called ’Almighty God and the Apostles of Accra'. Kofi carelessly dropped a forkful of 'kelewele' on a page, which made me very annoyed indeed. He just flicked them off and kept on turning over the pages as if nothing had happened. I sulked in silence until he noticed. Grinning and apologizing, he told me I shouldn't be quite so uptight about it.

After dinner, we’d gone up to his place. On entering his flat, I was drawn to his bookshelf, an eclectic collection, several of which I'd read or had intended to read. My eye fell on 'Maus', the graphic novel by American cartoonist Art Spiegelman. He asked whether I’d read it and when I said no, he offered to loan the signed edition to me, with dire warnings about what he'd do if I didn't take care of it or return it. I instantly reminded him I wasn't the one eating off his books. We sat down and had a couple of glasses of wine and talked books. So was the nature of our friendship; wicked, often irreverent humour at the heart of it all and Kofi pushing my literary and cultural boundaries by sharing so much of his interest and passion for the arts, tech, music, films, fine dining, but mostly prose – his own and a vast variety of interesting posts and op-eds from great writers and thinkers all over the globe. It was always a great joy to surprise him with something he hadn't read or heard of.

The first book I gave him was 'The Dangerous Book for Boys' by Conn Iggulden written for 'every boy from eight to eighty.' I was concerned about how gadgets like playstations could take over kids’ lives and keep them indoors. He was too. (I didn't realise how much worse it was going to get with social media!) He promised to do some of the great father-son activities in it with Dani, his son.

In 2010, we worked together on a fundraiser, 'Haiti: Ghana Responds' Concert for the victims of the Haiti earthquake and that was when I saw him in his element as a dedicated community organiser, 'doing something' with his passion for humanity and social justice in Ghana and beyond. It was an intense, focused planning session with several great meetings held in his flat where he was always the congenial host. I was impressed by (and sometimes a bit jealous of) his vast and diverse network of friends and supporters who adored him.

On January 15, 2018 I was thrilled when he posted on FaceBook, along with the beautiful logo designed for the concert by Eibhlin NiChleirigh: "One of my proudest moments, being part of the team that produced this event to raise funds for Haiti after the devastating earthquake. Kwesi Owusu, Adai Sai, Yvonne Kumoji, Lydia Maclean, Blay Ambolley, Abena Appiah, Ama Dadson and many other good souls helped make it possible. #AfricaTheGreat".

Kofi was so open with his words, which will continue to inspire, educate, amuse, annoy and, yes, make me less ‘uptight’. Thanks to the 'synthetic ever-present present' of social media, since his death, I find myself searching through hundreds of messages, texts and posts that he wrote over the years on Facebook and Messenger, laughing, crying, reliving his experiences and finding at the end, heart-breaking stoicism and flair as he faced first losing the use of his vocal cords and then the possibility of the 'terrible unfathomable finality of death.' (quotes- @BelTrew).

The last thing I shared with Kofi about a week before he died was Spoken Word Grammy nomination Sekou Andrews & The String Theory 'Good Vibes', a genre-bending EP of spoken word and symphony orchestra. The piece made me think of Kofi immediately and he loved the (closing) lyrics:
'..We're composed of vibrations that ripple and collide
Our bodies are instruments that harness good vibes
Our cells keep our score
Our music is alive
Our voice hungers for harmony
We are symphony We are tribe.'

Kofi, I thank God for your life and friendship. It will take me a lifetime to accumulate all the facets of your exceptional and beautiful mind. I draw comfort from the thought of continuing the journey of discovering you through all the people who love you and you have touched.

Live in Peace and Light darling. Your music is ALIVE!

THE NICE GUY.....

December 14, 2019
I was so shocked when I heard the news! I started contacting people I had been promising to call for months (and not got round to calling yet) to ask if it was true.

We never met in real life, like many of my social media friendships, I never got round to converting our great rapport online into the great friendship that I would most certainly have benefited from.

For me, like many others, you represented what true humanity, friendship and decency should be. By your conduct in real life and on social media, you exemplified who a gentleman should be; well-mannered, well-read, well-spoken, appropriately dressed, appropriately behaved at all times, great sense of humour, extremely charitable, charismatic and patient.

It is in deed my greatest loss not to have brought round to your famous balcony, that bottle of Scotch I kept promising to bring over. 

When someone asked me today if I knew who you were (I understand you are trending) my answer though simple,  Ibelieve most truthfully and respectfully defined who you were to all of us. Despite all your other  great achievements, Uncle Kofi, you were not just a nice guy.........you were The Nice Guy!!
Rest in Peace,
Abusuapanyin Exclamation

I remember you

December 13, 2019

Thank you for the love, the laughter and the conversation. I miss the afternoons we would just sit on the balcony and listen to Betty Carter! Here is one last listen… sleep well hon..xx

December 12, 2019
My Don.My Don. Capo di tutti Capi..... t'was nice knowing you.

Jack Nicholson of Ghana, fellow Federer and tennis fan

December 10, 2019
Kofi, what can I say? I laughed, probably even scoffed at the wording of your birthday invitation, but I guess you meant it.

Here comes Australia 2020. Federer will be playing... I won't be staying up. Neither will you. I'll just settle for the highlights later.
Farewell. Hit a few balls on the other side.
PS... I'll consider your last advice on politics.

Scrabble with Friends

December 11, 2019
I knew Kofi in college but lost touch after I moved to Ireland. Flash forward 25 years and I was playing scrabble online when I was messaged by my random opponent ( and worthy adversary). “ Were you in New Haven in 1984?,” asked the microscopic thumbnail on screen. I adjusted my reading glasses and zoomed in. And there he was...  I never got to see him in person again but my husband met him last year when he went to Ghana on business and Kofi was unsurprisingly a brilliant guide . I’m so glad I got to reconnect with him a bit these past few years and will always remember his smiling face xxxx 

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