Momma,
My sweet, beautiful, loving Momma.
I miss you so much. Sometimes, I don't even know what to do without you here.
The pain and longing of missing you just doesn't go away. I miss your kind, loving words. Your positive outlook and your good advice for any problem I had.
How I wish I could look at your beautiful face, and admire your sparkling blue eyes, and hear your beautiful voice once again.
I will always be thankful for having you as my kind, gentle, loving Momma.
I want to hug you so much right now, if only I could.
And I'm sorry for not hugging you enough, especially that one time I denied you a hug and hurt your loving heart. I was so selfish and bratty for doing that. I realized later in life, how hurtful that must have felt to you at the time. I'm so sorry Momma.
You wouldn't hug me again, I made you feel unsafe to want to hug me again. Like a biting animal if you get too close. I apologized years later, over and over, but I still regret denying you that time, I am glad though that I realized what I did while you were alive, and that I did apologize and I made the effort to let you know how wrong I was and how right you were for hugging me. I hugged you tons after that, to make up for it and to let you know how much I care for you.
But, I felt I could never make up for it enough, because then you wouldn't hug me when I asked you. You were playing with me. I saw the half smile on your face. I now think your arms got tired to hold me, your hugs were soft and gentle and you’d pat me with your hands. Oh, how I miss your loving hugs.
I made so many mistakes with you and Dad, I wish I could take them back. All those years I left home and rarely called and never wrote. It turned out I missed you and I didn't even realize how much I missed you, till the years had passed and too much time was gone. I saved your cards and I still am so grateful for the money you struggled to send me in your letters to me. You ALWAYS showed me such enduring, powerful love. I just didn't understand it at the time. Now I Do.
Thank you so much for your Priceless Gift of Pure Love.
I'm sorry for not always showing you how much I appreciated you while you were here. I did my best to show you how much I love and appreciate you the last few years of your life.
I told you often that I love you, and I hope you felt how much I love you and how much you meant to me through my actions in your last years that I spent with you.
I loved every moment being with you. I miss you Momma. I miss your care and your Pure Love. Thank you for teaching me, and being so good to me.
I love you, forever and a day.
Your Kathy
