"Hola NeeNeeeee"
Well Im having a big surgery today to fix my stomach up and I was just thinking about you. About your surgery. I chuckle sometimes thinking that they did a 40 or 50 thousand dollar hip replacement before sending you off to Heaven.
So in my case Ill be skinny and your hip will be all fixed so we cam really garage sale in heaven if that too is my fate today.
Either way Id be happy.
I still hear your words in life. Your advice and your bravery and sweet spirit become more pure each day in my heart looking back in life. With three boys and never any money you struggled so much. But we had eachother. Im so glad I was there for you and you for me. You're still here for me I know. What youve shown me has taken all fear out of life. Im so thankful for you.
Well. I better get going. I gotta shower and get my things gathered just like you did your morning of surgery. I know you were thinking of your parents too that day...and your fears too were okay because you knew youd be reunited if something happened.
I feel the same neenee.
I LOVE you mom...cant wait to see you again.
Your son..Richard.

Hi mom!
Went to the Pensacola State Fair yesterday. Me amd Carole felt so old as we were tired so quickly walking around. Wish you could've been there.
Today is that 1st day that gets cold leaving summer. This was always your favorite time of year and mine too. I miss sitting on the front porch in the cool breeze listening to your wind chimes and just talking into the night.
I miss you so much sometimes it really does hurt. Just wish I could call you or hug you or just hear your voice. I was amazed after you passed that I could find no video of you. It was weird.
But anyway. I stopped by McDonalds today on my way to work and the Mcribb is back at Micky d's so tomorrow Im gonna get us both one!
How bout that!!!
Well mom I better get going for now just lnow Im always thinking of you and miss just as much today as I ever did. You were the BEST MOM anybody could ever of had. You taught me everything I needed to know about life. You and Norma kept me very protected and I miss you BOTH.
Please stay with me til we meet again. I love you!
Good night "Nee Neeeeeeeeeee"

Dropping off some flowers geegee. Its Aigust 14 but close to midnight..you must be on Hawaiian time as when I posted it said the 15th lol
Went to our old beach hang out today and glided through so mamy sweet memories of our time at the beach. Boy we had so much fun even being on the news!
I miss you terribly but at the same time Im very proud of who you were. You were an amazing mom whose words I still hear and whose wisdom still finds me. I hear your advice all the time mom.
Im so thankful for our 41 yrs together so many people dont get that much time. I know your still with me, like I said I still hear your voice and your reminders to always be compassionate. " Nobody's perfect but as long as they are good to you..thats what matters"
Thank you for that. It truly stills me from time to time and reminds me Im not perfect either and should be happy someone truly loves me.
Can't say I celebrate this date but Im always surprised as time goes by how close you still feel, how clear your voice still is, and how your love is still felt.
I really cant wait to see and hug and kiss you again. Knowing we BOTH made it through life a success because we knew. What love was.
I miss you mom.
Your loving son. Rich

Hola nee nee!!
Well I didnt forget about on July 4th I just slept right through the whole day..and the next day..and the next. I was helping Caroles mom get situated into her new place. Its been a very crazy month. In fact Im at work and our song just came on. Its 5am Saturday morning. Carole is taking my truck to Panama City to help finish moving her mom. She's worked so tirelessly helping her mom. Its admirable and it reminds me of us..we were always helping eachother through life. I miss that about you being here. You gave me everything I needed to keep going and to "keep fighting..never give up" but Im getting older now and my mind and body is tired. So many years of struggling through this world. Thank God I had you mom. I look around and see just how much you taught me..and us boys how to make it. We're lucky.
But I guess Ill just always miss talking to you. Hearing your voice and little jokes and encouraging words. Looking back I realize how alone you were after POOPOO passed. I wish I could have been closer back then. Thats my only regret at times. I wish I couldve stayed in Texas..but it just wasnt where I belonged. Atleast we had the beach together home girl!
I. Could talk forever mom but I must go. I love so much today just as I did yesterday. Hope your enjoying the money Im putting in your pockets lol.
I love you mom.
Cant wait to see you again.
Rich

"Happy mother's day neeee neeeee"
Hola trig. Well it's mother's day and I sure wish I could come pick you up and we could go to Taco Casa or Braums. I miss you every mother's day more and more but I still feel like it was just yesterday we were hanging on your porch. Just talking about life like we always did. I miss everyone a lot but I just never really fit in too well in Texas. Now everyone has their own life. All the kids are grown it's like you were the glue of us all. In fact you were. I miss your cards and letters of encouragement the most. Life is tough but you taught us all very well how to be a survivor. I'm so thankful for all you taught us and me it's taken me a long way even today I still hear your voice and advice. I have your letters and my "magical cd" you sent me with that letter just a month before you went to see your family in heaven. But James Taylor's song "I always knew that I'd see you again" started playing over the hospital Inter com just now...lol
I will see you again and sooner than it will seem. I know time flys but I just can't wait to see you again Mom. I love you! Happy Mothers day. Big hug..big kiss.

Happy Easter New Nee!
Well. I had a few weird things happen these last few days. Things falling and computers beeping. I can't help but feel it's you since I'm always talking to you still. I sure miss coming over for Easter visits or going out to eat. But your still here with me this I know I just wish I could hug you. I miss that. I did manage to get out of all debts. Now I'm saving for a home and retirement. Carole has been looking at wedding dresses so we are both excited about that. Tony calls about every other day just to chat and laugh. I'm very thankful for his friendship and love. I've been through so much and he's never left me. I'm just so happy to have him. He's always positive and my greatest influence nowadays. Don't hear from anyone else really but you know I pray for everyone. Anyway I can't wait to hug you again. I know it'll seem like a flash in time once I cross over. This life I'm trying very hard to live fully so there are no regrets but I suspect when the time comes you'll be there waiting. That I'm sure of!
Love you Mom!!

Happy New Year!
Well Im glad last year is over having that hurricane and all. This year by April I will be 100 percent debt free. Quite an accomplishment these days so I know amazing things are gonna happen this yr. I turn 48. Can you believe Im almost 50
I never thought I would make it this far given my wild oats and crazy youth but..I really enjoy being older. I like how life calms down and becomes about simple things. Im learning about the Catholic faith through my friend Sue so getting closer to God is becoming very importamt finally in my life.
Me and Carole had an Awesome Valentines day. I made sure to get her roses and thoughtful things and I put money in your jacket pocket lol. I havent had any wine amd Ive abandoned cigarrettes about 6 yrs ago so Im growing up hesitantly..but Im trying. Well mom I love you very much Happy Valentines day. I wish we could have gone to Taco Casa or Braums. I really miss your voice even though I know your still right here
Thank you for the beeping at work while talking to Sue..that was AWESOME..yes..I knew that was you so thanks for letting me know you"re still here. Cant wait to see you again Trig...love...your son.

))))Merry Christmas NeeNee((((
Merry Christmas mom!
I had a very nice Christmas this year. Carole's family have really taken me in as their own and make me feel so loved and appreciated to be a part of them. It's my greatest blessing this holiday season.
I didnt hear from anyone in Texas again this year so I'm happy to have family here.
As usual I miss you at these timesvof the year. It doesnt get easier when your alone in the world. I know you understand that all to well. People have their own life and where one fits is just where one fits but I wish we could talk more than anything. I miss having you to talk to about life. You were always there no matter what amd that is something I now know doesnt exist in anyone other than a mother or father I guess if I had had one.
But enough of that. I made out like a bandit this year. For some reason everyone gave me gift cards..like 400 or 500 in all. Mostly food places which is just perfect for me. I just couldnt have been happier opening up all the stuff I got.
Hurricane Micheal really devastated Caroles families homes and Ive been here as much as possible to help support everyone I think thats what the gifts were about..just to say "thank you" it really warmed my heart and gave me a sense of worth given the absense of everyone else in my life. Having mental ilness is so much harder when your abandoned by family because of it but they love and see my good here and that is my greatest gift this year.
Well...Im at work. I had to work tonight 7pm to 7am...but Ive been off 2 weeks so I cant complain.
I love you mom very much..
I cant wait to see you.

Happy Birthay Mom!
Sorry Im a few days late in writing. I didn't forget. My vacation started on your birtday. "How bout that"
Im back in Panama City Beach this week. I have so many sweet memories here of your trips. I really think Panama City Beach will wind up being my forever home. No matter where I go, I just feel at home once Im here.
Its growing like crazy from our first years here and homes are getting way up there but maybe someday Ill be able to realize my dream of having a beachside cottage.
As usuall I miss you and I still hear you talking to me sometimes. Your advice seems to echo..all the life lessons still help calm the storms at times.
I miss you very much and lets see how Christmas is this year.
P.s. Im learning about the Catholic relegion from my friend Sue at work. I wish we couldve shared that part of your life together. Away from the negative publicity its a very beautiful way of worshiping. Im gonna learn more.
Love you mom!

"Happy Thanksgiving Mom"
I miss you today. I remember our sweet Thanksgivings where you would just cook all day. All kinds of stuff. You always watched the parades and I wish I knew back then how hard it must have been for you to be away from your parents.
Im glad I was always there for you. I know there was so much love between us that we'll always be together but I sure miss your voice, your hugs and kisses and your encouragements.
Last month Hurricane Michael destroyed Panama city but not OUR sweet beach.
Our Thanksgiving on the beach in 2009 will forever be some of my most precious memories of our time together. I wish we could go back. It seemed finally for one month life was perfect for us back then.
Im so happy you are my mom even today your precious words find and encourage me along this dificult journey in life.
I really do hear you when you say "dont be an asshole Jack" lol
When I find myself getting upset over things I hear you say that and it lets me know not to sweat the small stuff.
You really were such an amazing and loving person while here. You loved everyone and everything even the small forgotten discarded items in thrift stores.
I cant wait to see your smile again mom and Im sorry for my anger at times regarding difficult memories. Our life was very tough but you taught me everything I needed to make it through.
So today Im thankful your my mom..still today and forever. You live in my heart and "thank you mom for all your love"
So many dont have that. We had 42 years neenee.

Hola,
Its been 6 years mom and I guess it will always seem like yesterday we were on your porch. Looking back I'm glad I got to live with you while building my house in 2004. Spending that year together was pretty cool even though Larry was a grump.
It was nice to have that time as an adult with you and your vacations here to see me at the beach were priceless times. In so glad to have those memories.
I still haven't been able to "get rid" of what little I have. Probably never will. I can still smell your perfume on some things in the trunks I have. I called your number 741-7272 it's still available. No one has answered since you've "moved".
You know I miss you terribly. Life as I'm getting older has storms that are tough to weather at Times but I always hear your advice..it still echoes in my mind as life continues.
You used to say "Rich...I'm tired" and I understand that now. I am tired too. The world seems to have lost a lot of its shinniness in the last few years. Hard to watch the news anymore. No phone calls or cards from anyone. I guess the older we get the farther away from innocence we become and when life loses it's innocence it becomes to eventually mean less and less.
But I try and stay happy. I keep going to school. Keep trying to better myself even if there is no one really to share my accomplishments with at Times. That's what I miss so much about you. You were always proud of me. Looking back I really think you were a lot of the reason behind my trying to succeed. It meant something then.
Now money and possesions really have just stopped mattering much.
Anyway. I can't wait to see you again mom...and Thank you for everything mom!!
Just stay with me as my guardian angel and we'll get there.
Love you always.
Your son

You came through today!
I love you Mom!

"Happy Mother's Day Nee Nee!!!"
Wish I could jokingly call you at a ridiculously early hour to be "first one to wish you a wonderful day" I miss our weird and silly humor.
Tony would be taking you out to Joe's Crabshack and us, well some breakfast and Texas Tea.
I sure miss you everyday mom.. I still hear your advice and wisdom throughout my difficult days and situations. I still see you slowly waving goodbye in my rearview...and waiting till I'm out of sight to go in.
I miss you so much and I'm so thankful for the time God allowed us. 42 yrs was enough time to know I was very loved.and you were always and will always be my best friend in this world.
Through my ups and downs..you were always there. To listen and to give me love something I have never found in another.
Thank you mom for being there. I know I have changes to make So I'll start today by being more forgiving more patient and more loving and closer to God.
I'm sure the years til we meet again will be short. I just hope so can bring some honor to God with what days I have here.
Till we meet again!
All my love and a big hug and kiss!
P.s.
Should I go traveling?
I need a sign.

P.s.s
When I get a home...I'm going to put up some pictures.

Happy Easter Mom!!!
And April fools day..both on the same...how bout that.
Well today marks a very special week. I decided on Palm Sunday not to imbibe anymore and not just for a short time but maybe for good and today is day 7.
I plan on really working on my diet as well. No real reason for all this other than I'm getting older and just want good health for my old age. Plus I want to be around for Carole. So I figured why not.
I've been looking at houses too so settling down is stating to sound like the thing to do now that I've lived and pretty much done everything. I was thinking Windemere Florida to retire or maybe Stowe, Vermont for the snow and beautiful seasons but it might just be the beach life for me and Carole and maybe a vacation home in a colder climate in the mountains. Kinda best of both worlds..but who knows.
Life is going well. Quiet. Peaceful. No drama...just how I like it.
Well as usual I miss you and love you very much and when I decide on a home I'll put your pictures up. For good.
Iove you, can't wait to see you sgain, your son Richard.

Guess what?
)))IT'S MY BIRTHDAY(((
That's right. Today I'm 47...and still retarded. Just wanted to say "Thank you" for all the sacrifices you had to make with us 3 boys. You were 26 when I was born and back then broke but you knew how to survive and thrive. From thrift stores to garage sales I think we hit them all in the state of Texas.
You were and still are an amazing mom..because of your amazing and resilient spirit. Your love even clearly came through in so many ways THAT THERE WAS NO DOUBT...you crossed over and are still here. Your life became the greatest example for all is boys. Especially me. You taught me how to survive no matter what and through anything with no fear. Just keep going. I thank you for that and of course for all your love.
Life isn't easy. Its never what we planned it to be. Our dreams fade as reality sets in but I keep dreaming. I'll always be a dreamer because without dreams life would be sad.
As I begin to plow through the years without your voice and living advice..your cards..your treasures and gifts you so freely gave along the way that were always so encouraging. Its now that I really see how much love you had for me..because so still feel it, everyday.
I kept your cards and letters and I love to read them every now and again because your encouragement has proven timeless.
So thank you mom for this life. I hope to get better at it as I go. I know this year is going to be one to remember. 2017...was tough..but it's all over with. Time to enjoy the spoils of my new career and outlook on life.
As always..I love you very much and I miss you even more.
And if I am your heaven don't worry...things are getting better.
Love...your 47 year old son...Richard!
))))YEAH NEEEEEEEEEENEEEEEEEEEEEEE(((((((((

"Happy NEW YEAR NIG"
Sorry I'm late I passed my exam on December 30th in Alabama. So I'm officially retiring from surgery this year...forever.
I'm very excited about this new year and I'm going to start cleaning house a bit. I know you would want that for me. Holding on to the past seems sill since I have so many memories and photos plus you seem with more than ever. So life is getting better by the second.
This is going to be an amazing year mom, thanks for all your help along the way too many coincidences.
As always I love you and remember you everyday. Love me..

)))MERRY CHRISTMAS(((( home girrrrl..
Well another year coming to an end and an interesting year it was..but I'm ready for this new year and I'm officially retiring from surgery December 30th. Yep..I'm done operating and moving into a new roll that will take me into my old age just fine and with a lot of travel!
So I'm very excited about this new year and what's to come. As always I miss you and your sweet cards luckily Carole's family and extended fsmily love me to death and I get lots of cards from all over nowadays so it's nice..but I sure miss yours.
Never could get Chris or Tony to give me your journals. I remember what you said..and you sure we're right. But just know I love you..and enjoy the heavens...I'll be seeing you before you know it!

"Happy Birthday Nee Nee!!"
Hola neegro...well it Chritmas time once again and as usual the holidays are hectic. My new job is awesome and I'm almost completely debt free so everything is going well. By now I would be receiving a card from you and I sure miss your sweet cards and letters always full of encouragement and guidance but you taught us all so well how to survive anything life throws our way, hard lessons but good ones. I really miss your voice and hugs though both still echo, thi walk in life isn't the same for me since you decided to go on vacation.
Funny thing I may be the only one who noticed your hospital bag you packed had Hawaii written on it and the nail polish you chose that day was "pink clouds" I found the bottle on your dining room table. That was what was so amazing about you..your bravery and ability to overcome anything. You showed us boys how to do the same and I'm forever greatful for all the sacrifices you made to love us and keep us all togethet no matter what. You were a bad ass mom that I miss everyday. So have a glass of Texas Tea mom you certainly do deserve it!
Love always..Rich

"Happy Thanksgiving Mom"
I sure wish we were on the beach like in 2009 having Thanksgiving. I still miss you very much and will always cherish the memories of that year. All is going okay
I'm changing jobs again to get lined up for a traveling position. I'm working on another cerification. Traveling sounds like fun.
Me and Carole still haven't gotten married but one day. I haven't heard from Chris in several years now. Tony every now and again. Its very painful but God keeps me with His love and I'm thankful for that.
I love you mom..I can't wait to see you again. This world is becoming a horrible place and I'm tired....
Happy Turkey day "neeneeeeee" and don't worry I ate enough for you today too...lol
Leaving you a flower!! Big kiss and a warm hug!

It's been 5 years today and still seems like just yesterday we were hanging out on your porch with little "gizzy" and our Texas Tea just talking about life and laughing.
I sure miss your company and your wonderful hugs and late night cooking before bed. Especially your little fried egg sandwiches. Life has just not been the same without your voice to reassure me in life's journey but the lessons you taught me are with me everyday in so much that I do. I hear your voice all the time when making decisions about life.
Our love still endures the gap between us and even today your love still comforts me in life. I love you mom...and I miss you.
Thank you..for all the love you have given me. I know it's enough to last my lifetime and that's all a son could ever ask for.
So until we meet again...big hug and kiss.
Your loving son.

Happy 4th of July mom!
I miss you everyday still and on holidays especially. I know you're still with me and not a day goes by I don't notice little guardian angel gestures. Thank you for looking out for us.
I love and miss you very much.
Rich.

"Happy Mother's day"

Im 46!! Well my birthday was nice I got cards from all of Carole s family even her 94 y.o. grandma sent me a card and gift and Carole had a butter cream rasberry 4 layer cake for me!!
Anyway I just had a dream with you walking through your old neighborhood and looking at your house then seeing you across the street and hugging you..so real. So naturally I woke missing you.
I still miss you everyday mom and honestly I cant wait to be reunited. As you remember life is such a struggle sometimes I miss your letters and encouragement and advice. Luckily I saved so many of them I can still read your loving guidance during tough times of lonliness and change but I still cant wait to see you again. Can you believe that Its been almost 5 years?
I called your number 817 741 7272...for the first time it rang without a "not in service" message after all these years your number is finally taken it seems.
I miss you mom...so much.

"Happy New Year Mom!!!"
Well its 2017. Me and Carole had a wonderful evening just shopping and exploring Pensacola. We had an amazing italian dinner and even a glass of wine so cheers to you neenee. I miss you and just sending you hugs and kisses.
Hopefully this will be a magical new year and wonderful things will happen

Merry Christmas mom..
Missing you. No calls or text for me this year. Seems to get quieter every year. Wish I was with you.

"Happy Birthday Mom!!"
Just thinking about you today on your birthday. Tony would've taken you to the Crab Shack today and I know how much you always loved it there.
I think of you everyday and I wish I could give you a big hug and kiss on the cheek.
Leaving the super market this morning I bought a lottery ticket and walking to the car a ladybug landed on my hand. It was a sweet little yellow one. That's supposed to mean good luck. That's what my friend said about it.
Let's hope so. Life seems to be getting better now that I'm away from Panama City.
I miss everyone back home but I guess life is just busy that way.
Anyway...I love you mom very much and know that you're with me everyday.
Christmas is coming!!

Happy Thanksgiving Mom!!
I have a new job to be thankful for and Carole and corny.
No internet but know I love you and miss you everyday. Went by our old favorite beach on Bristol and got a cup of sand to put by your picture here at the new place. Hopefully working I can get a home soon.
Help me at my new job neenee...I'm gonna need it. Big kiss

I'm in Pensacola beach beach!! I made it I'm sure with a lot of your help and help from my guardian angels. From narrowly missing a wreck with all my stuff in a moving truck, to a miraculous job offer that has had so many possible reasons to fail me getting hired, I've made it.
The place here is perfect over looking a little pond. It's quiet and peaceful just in time for the holidays. I know your hand is still at work in my life mom, there are just too many little miracles. I even won 500.00 on the radio that helped pay rent..and just in time. God is good to me and I thank HIM everyday for HIS sacrifice that I know I'm not worthy of. It's truly beautiful here.
I'm driving over 140 miles a day to work right now but if this new job goes through this will be my last week of that.
I pray for Chris and his family and for Tony and his as well.
I have not forgotten what you said.
I love you mom everyday and Thank YOU very much for the miracles.
Now let's hope I can just return to surgical work with God's help and Grace.
Love you mom!!!

Hola gg.
Dave passed away September 6th 2016 at noon. I didn't have a chance to say "goodbye" but Tony was there. I found out Larry passed also and one of Chris's step children as well all on the same day.
Take good care of them mom, love and miss you everyday.
Your son

Well mom I went to the beach yesterday morning to our favorite little spot where we had Thanksgiving on the beach. I know you loved that day. I did too.
Spent the rest of the day with Carole and shared stories with her about you. Its been 4 years since you crossed over but it still feels like yesterday we were enjoying wine on the front porch. I miss being able to hear your voice, but I know your still beside me.
I hope everything is fine in your world, I know one day we'll see eachother again. Thank you mom..I love you.

"Happy Mothers Day!!!"
Me and Carole went to your favorite part of the beach and sent a card with 15 mothers day balloons, as we watched them disappear I can still feel you right beside me. I love and miss you everyday Mom and your always in my heart and on my thoughts.
So have a happy mothers day in heaven and tell J.C. we said hi...lol
We'll be together again someday until then just know I think of you everyday and I love you!!!!!!

Thinking of you on my birthday. I turned 45 yesterday and Carole and I spent and incredible time at the Grand Hotel in the Sandestin golf and beach resort. I played the song you gave me and am so thankful for this beautiful life you've given me.
My plans this year are to read the entire bible and work on being closer to God our father and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Carole and I will be planning our wedding in Disney and we've considered moving to Destin, so this will be an exiting year. You'd laugh as Ive been unemployed since Dec by choice. Im enjoying life just as you would wish. I love you mom and your still right here with me "nee nee"
See ya on Valentines day!!!!
Love, your son Richard

Im going to be adding photos and videos as soon as Im ready to go through them, Love you mom!!!!
Miss your hugs and kisses so much..

"Happy Birthday Nee Nee!!!" I see your pretty face everyday and miss you so much. Today your 70 and I'll be taking your card and balloons to the beach to our favorite spot. Your always here with me still. I love you so much Mom.........your loving son, Rich