Everyone who knew mom and was a beneficiary of her love, knew a love that was absolute, all encompassing and unconditional. My mother was everything to me, my teacher, my counselor, my Girl Scout leader, the typist for my college papers (when papers had to be done on typewriters) my cheerleader, she taught me to sew, she was my confidante; but most of all my friend. She gave me a copy of Emily Post when I was 10 for Christmas and told me I should memorize it. She came from that genteel southern background that cherished good manners and hospitality. She was generous to a fault and would give away her last dime to her children or grandchildren rather than spend it on herself. She gave her grandchildren the most precious gifts of all; her time, her love and financial assistance to attend college.
She taught me a lot about strength and endurance. I cannot believe how she flew through the indignities thrown at her in old age. Surgery after surgery, amazing her family, the doctors, the nurses, by living through the pain with a shrug and a smile. Bouncing back from every illness with vitality and sheer determination. I gave her strength, but she gave me more.
The kind of love she felt for me was an absolute love. She may not have approved of everything I did, may not have liked some of the decisions I made, my relationships with others, but she didn't lecture, she didn't judge. She just kept loving me, letting me know that she was there and if I ever needed her, I could count on her to listen, to comfort, to help. I was the most important person in the world to her. She lived to make my life better and was proud of me.
To think that mom felt that way about me, makes me feel blessed. I can never forget that there is a part of her in me, something that she gave to me and asked nothing for in return.
Money can be wasted and property ruined, but what I inherited from her cannot be damaged, destroyed or lost. It is permanent, and it keeps her from becoming just a wonderful memory. It allows her in so many ways to remain just as alive as always through me. Maybe I can learn to be more compassionate as she always knew that I could. Maybe then she won't seem quite so far away.
I hope she is smiling, knowing all of her children and grandchildren will take her wherever they go because her spirit and strength lives on in each of us and in the lives that she touched. So, for your wisdom, your humor, tenderness and compassion, your understanding, your patience and your love; thank you, mom. You were an inspiration to me.
I hope that family and friends add to this, because your obituary, while seemingly so final, is actually just a first, rough draft of your utterly amazing life story.
I love you mom, always and forever.