Michele left a mark on everyone she met. She knew everyone and feared nothing. She listened to my challenges and I always knew her empathy was genuine, real and came from a place of true understanding. She wasn’t self-conscious and wouldn’t let you feel that way either. She was the person, who when you saw her at an event, you immediately knew it was going to be 100x more fun than you thought it would be.
Michele taught us to say yes and try something. She reminded us to laugh at ourselves and participate. She taught us how to make everyday events fun. She showed us how to be brave in the face of extreme adversity. She taught us to always give the class stuffed animal they send home for the night a spin in the dryer before it touches anything. Most importantly, she taught us to always, always wear something short and tight.
I was fortunate enough to visit Michele a few weeks back to say goodbye. I read her a letter that I had been writing off and on for the past year. I had been trying to somehow capture some of my favorite memories of the crazy, bright, fun, powerful force who declared us friends and let her know how much she meant to me. I promised her it wouldn’t be too sappy and we would laugh, because that what you did with Michele - you laughed.
Here are a few of my favorite parts:
I’ll never forget the first time I met you. It was Halloween and the boys were in the first grade. You were blonde, because in Perkins family tradition your costumes were over the top. That year your theme was Grease and you were Sandy. Tony, as Danny, was reading the class a story and answering questions about his profession while we were gossiping in the back of the class. I thought immediately, “well, there’s a family who may love theme parties more than I do. We have to be friends.” And, when I found out you went to Wisconsin, that just solidified it. Go Badgers!
You have that spark that makes people want to be around you. It’s a rare and special gift that attracts people of all kinds who want to be your friend and want some of your light to shine on them. That gift, you have passed on in spades to your children. That spark shines brightly and clearly through Blake, Britton and Shea.
Your spark attracts wonderful people and I do think our little Alcott Mom gang formed because of you. You are the ringleader of our crazy circus. That first year we began our tradition of Whatever-Grade-They-Are-In Boy Moms + Heidi dinners. It usually goes down like this: you send a text that it’s time for another dinner and everyone texts back that they are in. Then the day of the dinner there may be a call to find out who is ready for drinks early. Usually most of us are. I think the hallmark is how many times the wait staff tries to take our order and we have to turn them away because we haven’t even opened the menus yet. It can be as long as a full hour before we order food because the food and drink are secondary. We talk about everything and nothing at all, we gossip, and we’re completely inappropriate.
During the teacher’s strike last year we determined that if we combined all of our skills we could have a kick ass home school. It was one of my favorite text chains ever. I would teach language arts, Emily would teach law, Lindsay would teach media studies, Erin would be our art teacher, Heidi, our science teacher, Tracy would teach home ec, with a special unit on ironing, and Terri would be the lunch lady. We volunteered Josh, to teach math and finance, Michael to give seminars on being an entrepreneur, and Ronnie to teach PE. But, your contribution might have been the most important. You would teach the kids how to sell drugs so we could turn this into a money making operation. You also volunteered to teach Sex Ed by sitting the kids down for a viewing of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, followed by a discussion.
However, we may want to think twice about your Sex Ed curriculum. Another of my favorite memories of you is from a party right before the boys were about to start Sex Ed. You said “Well I told the boys they would learn about when their balls will drop.” And my husband Josh looked at you and said “Michele, it’s not like New Year’s Eve. We’re not waiting around for balls to drop.” I still can’t tell the story without laughing. Watching the ball drop changed forever and makes me automatically think of you.
As I got to know Blake and Britton and Shea, my admiration for you only grew exponentially. They are, simply put, incredible. I describe Blake and Britton as “the kids who don’t just put the dirty dishes in the sink, they put them in the dishwasher.” Their ability to befriend, include, joke around with, push and protect my son, who we know isn’t the easiest person, is something for which I am forever grateful. Their maturity, easy-going natures, curiosity, and ability to laugh at themselves is everything you hope for in your children and the people they choose to befriend. These qualities come straight from you and Tony, so thank you. I may joke that Britton is my favorite because he’s a Wisconsin fan, but the truth is you all are my favorites.
I feel so lucky that we were able to spend some one-on-one time this year. It didn’t matter if I was driving us up to Wisconsin to give the boys private skiing lessons, spontaneously coming to Michigan for the most perfect day of the summer, or simply walking around the block, spending time with you is always a gift.