See you again Nathan

So many years have gone by,
since god took you from our side,
and left a pain we could not hide.

an impression left in our hearts
and on our souls, how ever I can not
make the selfish wish just to make
Myself whole.

I need you to know, I love you,
and and really miss you too,
this will be untill the day my life is
through.

Your my special child,
so beautiful and sweet,
i miss the way you smile
you were such a special
treat.

i know i can not see it
now but a day lies ahead
when i can look up and see you,
a smile on your face insted.

 together we will wait for more family
to come along, we will embrace each other
and know nothing can go wrong.

for we will walk with Jesus,
 nothing can do us harm.

 

Nathan Was born Dec. 2, 2007 at 6:59pm he was such a cute little baby his daddy and i loved him from the minute we found out that we were going to have a baby. While I was pregnant with Nathan, we had gone to an ultrasound appointment at the doctors office and this was not the first ultrasound it was maybe the fourth or so... any way the Dr had asked us to join us in his office so we went and into his office and he said that he thought that there was something  odd about the ultrasound. He said that one of the ventricles in his brain was enlarged and that they would have us come back in a week to have it checked out... so we come back in a week and Dr says every thing looks fine...  So on to Dec. we meet Nathans Dr.  she was a wonderful woman... and told her about what my obgyn had said, she told us that she would check up on it, and of course she did and so they did an ultrasound on his brain when he was born. She had said that she thought that it was just part of the separating sack around his brain was missing and that he might just be a little slow but she will keep an eye on it.  Nathan was a very beautiful happy baby but still we knew something was off, he couldn't hardly hold his head up by him self at 3 months like most babys and he wasn't trying to crawl so when six months came around she had us an appointment to go to Atlanta for a MRI so Scott, Me, and Jonna rode down to one of the Children's hospitals where we met my daddy. They took Nathan to the back for about an hour and then we were able to go home after he woke up. So a few months later he got sick went to the hospital here in Rome. Every thing was fine for a while then he got sick again an we went to the dr there was something wrong with his tummy. so went to the hospital did an xray and went back to the dr. then went home. Had to go back to the dr again the next week, his tummy again,( this time we had my niece Brooklyn) and the dr gave him an enema that didnt work so she told us to rush down to Atlanta the er would be waiting on us so we rushed down to the Children's hospitals in Atlanta and we ended up staying  a week i think they were trying to give him an iv and had to put it in his head. They put us in a room and gave him another enema, the next morning we had to go down to another ultrasound for his tummy so right before we left he loaded his diaper with mommy a nice big surprise, then we went to the ultrasound down stairs and he filled it up again. We finally got to go home. We had started to go to church and he was growing so big. He loved to laugh and to cuddle with everybody. He loved watching mickey mouse, and nascar he was so funny. But his tummy got sick again and he would throw up every time he ate took him to the doctors office again and she said that she could not be sure with out a muscle biopsy but from a clinical prospeticive she thought that he had Leighs Disease. So went and stayed a week here in rome and had him put on a feeding tube or maybe it was in atlanta its so hard to remember.  things would get worse and get better and get worse again. Till one week we went to stay in Atlant Childrens's hospitals again, they had all sorts of specialest coming to see him he was on somany different medications it was heart breaking. Finally things started to look up. We came back home and every thing was going really well for a long time though he had to stay on the feeding tube.. Scott and I  had gone to pick up my friend and she was going to stay the night with us. We were at walmart buying Nathan's formula when his parents call us to say try to hurry theres something wrong with Nathan. So we get to the Register and then they call again. GET HOME NOW THE AMBULANCE IS ON THE WAY! so we rush home faster than you could think possibal. Run in the house i have no idea who was holding Nathan but i got him and was scared to death right then the ambulance pulled up and got Nathan I rode in the back Scott rode up front. Nathan was ached backward, trying to breath. That guy sitting with us in the back poor man trying to calm me down, pissed me off soooo bad. casually talking to me and im like HELLO MY SON IS DYING DO SOMETHING !!!! Get to the hospital and in the trama room dr comes in and says so if something happens do you want to put him on life support?! How the hell do u answer that question? especially that soon? It was 10-10-08. We were alll so scared. The whole family was there but my daddy and of course i called him screaming to get to the hospital now! and my daddy lives like 3 hours away he was there in what to me seemed like forever! We got a room with Nathan in the pediatric ward and we all were up there, so that night they put him on something to calm him and ease the pain. He got better and we thought we would be going home, and then that night he got worse.. Scott and I held him and told him that if he needed to go to just go he died in my arms at about 4:30 am Oct. 15, 2008 Nathan Walked Hand in Hand with Jesus!