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Please come to Tea

October 23, 2020
I remember my very first meeting with Mama. I had been dating her first son, Yinka, for a while. One day, he told me his mother would like me to come over and have tea with her. I dressed up in a lovely green maxi dress with very little makeup. He picked me up and we drove to the house. On getting there, she was in the kitchen actually boiling water for tea. I could not believe it. I greeted her and attempted to assist her in the kitchen but she pleasantly told me that as her guest, I should go and sit down and I had to obey.
Tea and scones served, we sat down to chat. She wanted to find out about the girl who had captured her first son's heart.  Enough said, she made an appointment to meet my parents and as the saying goes, the rest is history. We were wedded on a very happy day in December 1979. 
Mama became both my mother in law and my friend, strangely. She would regale me with tales from her youth, as well as her husband. She was very interesting. We were different in many ways and she understood that as much as I respected and loved her, I couldn't get to be like her. Mama was a 'limited edition'. 
She was to me an enigmatic woman being widowed at an early age with four lads to care for. She was the first Headteacher of Unilag Staff School, Akoka. She was an amazing, hardworking and prayerful woman. She loved all her daughters in law individually, but she dotes on her grandchildren.
I was privileged to be in the country when she passed away peacefully in her sleep after her Sunday lunch. Shortly before then, she rededicated her life to the Lord Jesus at over ninety years old. We can only give glory to God and be thankful that she saw her all her children as achievers.
November 6, 2017

'Adenike mi o, e ni ko ko ko, e ni ko ko ko o, e ni ko ko ko'

I can still hear Mama's voice so clearly as we'd sing and clap to the rhyme she coined for me so long ago. I remember so vividly how her whole face would light up, as did mine. It was no surprise to me when I was finally let in on how the rhyme originated. 

As the story goes, as a baby I had an extremely bad period of colics where my 'cries' were inconsolable to say the least. Nothing just seemed to work! Mama, however seemed to have the secret antidote. After hours and hours of crying without end, Mama would cradle me in her arms, rocking me to and fro as she sang the rhyme over and over again, almost instantly I would quiet down, I was told that it was nothing short of a miracle.  In fact, it was coined 'Mama's Miracle effect'. Even during times when Mama wasn't around, they would try to recreate the effect, cradling me the exact same way, singing that exact same rhyme, in the exact same way , even to the extent of singing it in the exact same pitch, but it just would not work. It wasn't long before they realised how futile it was, because they now knew it wasn't about the cradle, the song or even the pitch, it was just the Mama effect. One would think that with time and as I grew older, I'd grow out of it, it rather is the contrary, I've grown into it. That little rhyme has become a special song between Mama and I, so much so that I can recall humming it as I walked into several exam rooms while in university. The same calming effect it had back then, is still very evident today. Till the very end Mama never forgot the song and I'll never forget the joy and peace I'd feel each time we'd sing it.  

That who Mama was and is to me, an endless embodiment of Love & Joy.  

One of my fondest memories of Mama, has to be the gifts she ALWAYS had specially packaged under the Christmas tree for each and every grandchild. I always looked forward to my special package full of apples, biscuits and sweets. I'm in awe of how caring and thoughtful she always was. At family gatherings, while others were busy enjoying the food or vibrant conversations, I remember Grandma's attention always being fixated on us grand-kids, it wouldn't be long before she asked if 'we were okay?', 'did we want more food, more drinks?', 'were we comfortable?', 'were we entertained?'. Her caring and nurturing nature is truly unparalleled.   

Mama, thank-you for all the years of unconditional love you showed us all. 
Your acts of love and kindness will never be forgotten. 
I love you.
--- 'Denike 

Once an Inspiration, Always an Inspiration

November 3, 2017

O U R  M A M A 

As a young woman, you have always been a key role model in my life. You have showcased what it truly means to be a strong woman - raising 4 boys who are now successful men all on your own, teaching & imparting your wisdom not just during your career but during your 91 years to any and everyone you knew or met. I look back fondly on times where you would come to spend time with us and despite your elderliness still command yourself with such grace & dignity and still remain so particular about the way in which things were done. I always enjoyed noticing your attention to detail because that is something I have always admired in you and continue to try and live out myself. You never settled for less and expected everyone else to do the same. I loved the way in which you remained so inquisitive and attentive to what was going around you - never failing to pick up a newspaper or a book and simply sift through your thoughts and write. I am so happy to be able to relate to your love for writing and know that you will continue to inspire a lot of what I write.

 I am so appreciative of who you've been in all of our lives. A Matriarch whose presence would always uplift a whole room and who personifies what 'love' is, always reminding me of the importance of Family. I can see your face now, smiling at the joy of every family member being present whether it be during Christmas or a birthday celebration. I will miss visiting you in Papa Ajao, and the excitement you exuded when we would walk into the room, it made us all feel so loved and we hope you knew that that love was always 100% reciprocated. 

 Thank you for teaching me how to carry myself with an air of elegance, confidence and most importantly a God-fearing heart. Thank you for always being so eager to tell us about your experiences - I will never forget how excited I was to receive a mail from Mama where she told me various interesting facts about herself that I was to use for school project when I was about 5. I know God has reserved an endless supply of Amala and ewedu soup for you in heaven and I pray you’re enjoying it to the fullest - just as you deserve to. This is such a remarkable celebration of life. You ran the good race, fought the good fight and I know our Lord & Saviour is so excited to welcome you Home. 


I love you with all my heart, till we meet again Mama - to part no more

 

November 3, 2017

I rememeber my sweet tooth being in heaven whenever Mama was around-she thoroughly spoiled us with treats. My parents tell us stories of how playful she was with us as children whenever she would visit us in Port-Harcourt. She indulged and even encouraged our mischief. 

"Aaw, omo Bayo! Omo Bayo!" she would say to my now 'grown-up' sisters and I, with so much endearment in her voice and gratitude to God in her eyes. There was a sense of gentleness and wholesome love whenever we were around Mama. She would tease us about our selfie-taking and sense of fashion as millenials; tugging on my crop top as she giggled mischeviously. 

I'm so grateful for the memories; for the laughter and joy. I'm so grateful to call such an accomplished, strong and all-round beautiful woman my Grandmother. We love you, Mama.

Time to grow up

October 31, 2017

Grandma taught me right from an early age to always be responsible for myself and never to wait for anyone to do anything for me. 

I remember one hot summers day sat in my room with her. And Grandma said to me, "Aren't you going to tidy up your room?". " You and Kayode are such a mess" she said as she tidied up a dusty old book shelf in the corner of our room. 

I remember we spent hours tidying up the room together. Grandma didn't leave till the job was done. And she finished off with "I want you to keep this room this way from now on" which I tried my possible best to do. Grandma inspired me to be the best and most creative person I could possibly be and it helped me greatly in life. It gave me a good working ethic. Grandma was a true inspiration to us all and will continue to be. 

Grandmas house = candy, biscuits and soda!

October 30, 2017

I remember always being excited to vist Grandma because Grandmas house = candy, biscuits and soda!

With the visits also came the possibility role-playing as the Ninja turtles with our cousins. A good way of burning off the recently gained calories. Its amazing that I could stay still long enough to take this picture. It was never a dull moment in Grandmas house.  I am thankful for all the great memories shared with Grandma.

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