I remember so vividly walking into her hospital room ( after getting off my night shift job) this morning, 6 years ago, seeing her sitting up on a chair by the side of her bed. I walk in and say to her, “ What’s up, mom ( in my happy voice)? She turned her head as she see me walking in and say to me, “ KAREN! I can’t do this anymore. PLEASE, let me go. I’m in too much pain.” Her facial expression let me know this was “REAL” and I needed to listen to her. I sat down and we had a conversation about what she wanted. I remember wanting to tell her, “NO, MOM! You need to fight. You can’t give up. I don’t want you to die!” Then I quickly thought to myself, how selfish It would be to only think of my feelings and not hers. I instead I let her know that this was her fight to fight and if she couldn’t do it anymore then it’s okay. It was okay to not want to fight anymore.
Watching your mother take her last breath is bitter sweet. Only those who have experienced this will understand. It is something that is engraved in your soul.
Today marks 6 years since your soul left your body. But I know that your spirit lives on. I feel you all the time. You body is no longer here but your soul is in a better place, watching over me. I have tried my best to honor your Dying wish. I hope I have made you proud. In fact, I don’t have to hope, I know I have. I love you and miss you more every day. Thank you! Until we meet again.. i will honor your memory.