Momma, I know I have been slacking on writing to you and sharing tributes/stories for you. I'm sorry. Being in Turkey, these time differences, doing stuff, studying also, it's been difficult sometimes. But I know, that is no excuse. ;))
You know I think about you EVERY day. Not a day goes by that I don't.
I heard the song "It's gonna be me" by NSYNC today, it made me think of you more and how you got me EVERY thing of that band because you knew they were (and always will be) my favorite. ;)) You loved that band too and would sing along to every song. You never had just one favorite. Wait, you never had just one favorite of any thing, you loved a lot of things. That is one thing you were best at. Love, pompassion, caring...You had one of the biggest hearts I ever known. I wish you were here to see Austin and I get to bond more. I hope to get to bond more like that with all your grandchildren. My nieces and nephews will know how much you loved them and wanted to know them, don't worry. They will not only feel your love from where you are now, but I will help be your messenger and let them know as well. I love and miss you terribly much, as you know, but instead of hearing it in my heart and soul, I still love to say it and tell you myself through my words from my mouth...

This was sent in a message to me on Facebook by Linda Fischer, my mom's first cousin.

"I first met Pammie when she was about 5 years old. We were at 210 (the old family house in orleans). She was so dirty, she had been out playing with the boys and her dress and face were filthy, but oh that grin ear to ear. She was as happy and unconcerned that as she was the rest of her life. If something was fun, that was what was important, not the other stuff we get wrapped up in. As we met through out the years Pammie never changed. She always wore that big smile and her eyes were shining with joy. No bad memories from me ever. Just a human with frailties and a heart filled with love for all."

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150961880488488&set=a.10150637522673488.454358.529833487&type=3&src=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-snc7%2F427942_10150961880488488_789313939_n.jpg&size=960%2C719

This was of my mom at the Washington, D.C. Hard Rock Cafe. We went so many places together as a family. After I was born I was all over the USA. When I got older to remember more we traveled again. We didn't get to even make it through the places she wanted to go. She wanted to go every state that she didn't get to, some towns and cities she missed, and a whole list of countries in her mind.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150961934858488&set=a.10150637522673488.454358.529833487&type=3&src=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ash4%2F385712_10150961934858488_1813608693_n.jpg&size=960%2C719

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151015013043488&set=a.10150637522673488.454358.529833487&type=3&src=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ash3%2F534173_10151015013043488_216625466_n.jpg&size=604%2C453

The first photo link is of my mother, our supervisor, and coworker. The second link is of my mother and Natalia, she was one of the exchange students.

I remember when mom and I both worked at Fannie Farkles, in the heart of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. She would work in the kitchen part up front making their famous sausages with onions, peppers and seasonings also she would run the cash register. Something she loved to do and a place she loved to work, aside from enjoying our other job together, Shirman's Farm Market each of them in Corydon and New Albany, Indiana, which was her first job in over 20 years and my first job ever, since I was 12 and had my work permit which was an amazing adventure for me, it showed me and taught me so much as my young age. My mother loved a woman that worked there, was a supervisor, she was considered my mother's best friend. Laurie Ross and her shared a lot together and Laurie was always so kind to her and I will always be grateful to that. My mother also was so very fond of the exchange students from other countries we had work there also, from so many different countries. They thought of my mother like an American mother to them. I enjoyed it and thought it was the sweetest thing.
Anyway, as we worked the same shifts at Fannie Farkles we got to walk to work together, we would share our breaks together, and walk home together since we lived so close and the nature on our walks were beautiful. One favorite place of ours on our breaks was Shoney's Restaurant right across the street of Fannie's. We went all the time to grab our favorite meals from there. My mother would always get the fish sandwich with NO tarter sauce and EXTRA lemons on the side with french fries, I would always get their Tuscan Chicken Sandwich with french fries. We were regulars and got the same thing almost every single time. 
That is a memory that would be with us all the time. She always had to have her Diet Cokes and Unsweetened Nestea Tea with Sweet N' Low during every meal or while anywhere, she would bring her own all the time to restaurants and simply ask for ice. The servers at Shoney's knew her best and when she would walk in, they had her glass of ice ready for her. 

It was March of 2009. My sister-n-law, nieces and nephews got to come down and spend about a week with us in our new town we just moved at Gatlinburg, Tennessee from Central, Indiana. Mother loved the mountains so much. We gathered our stuff and moved. Well, anyway, this photo was one of the days they stayed, March 17, 2009, two days before I turned 18, on March 19th. She hated photos taken of her, but convinced her to take one with me. So I believe this turned out to be one of the best photos of her, she had a lot of them though, she never liked to admit it, but I could see and so many other's could see, that she was beautiful, inside and out!

This was at her son, my brother's, grave site. Brandon Coy Kirkman which we called him Boo since we were all younger, July 27, 1978 - May 10, 2008. He had 3 biological children, and 2 children from a fiance' at the time who he was going to adopt. This was one of the times my mother really got to sit and enjoy the children, my sister-n-law, and her cousin's company while reading notes and remembering Boo for all the good he had and the legacy he left in his families. Not a day went by we didn't talk about him. Now to this day, not a day goes by that I don't think or talk about my brother and mother.

Mom... When I look up to the night sky I am thankful to see the sky and twinkling shining stars, for as your eyes were dark brown with that beautiful shine in them. When I look up to the sun, I see the everlasting smile you had with the glow from cheek to cheek. When I look at any sunset, I see you gliding and dancing within the colors with Brandon and our family and friends we loved so dearly who are keeping you company while we are down here waiting to meet with you again. When I look at any sunrise as I wake up to meet you in the morning, I know you are there to greet me and wish me greatness on each day. ♥