Dear Yasamin:
My most sincere condolences to you and your family. I hope that you are doing the best that you can under the circumstances. I was so shocked and saddened to learn of Phil's passing, way too early at age 58. If there is anything that I can do to help you, please do not hesitate to let me know.
Phil and I were both born in 1960. He and I were at the Hotel School at the same time, although I am Class of '82. For many years in the 1990's and early 2000's, when Phil was in charge of the Cornell Hotel Society, we spoke frequently and met regularly during my presidency of the Northern California Chapter of CHS, and later as the regional Vice President Pacific Northwest and Hawaii for CHS. Phil was always, without fail, supportive, polite, and enthusiastic. He always followed through on any promise. Working with him was a complete pleasure. I recall when he married you and how much he loved you and "his" new son!
While you will never be "cured" from the loss of Phil and you will never be the same being that you were when he was alive, I trust that you will not forever be bereft in grief as you are now. A larger world will present itself, I am sure, and it may take the picture frame of a sudden expansion and deeper understanding of the many ways, and significant ways, that Phil touched so many of us. And in that expanded presence, and with the knowledge that your family and your friends are here to support you, Phil will be in the world in that presence, but while still absent. A more shadowed world, perhaps, but a more luminous world, too, because of his many contributions.
Best regards, Kenneth Kuchman, Greenbrae, California.