Hey there, little one. It’s been a rough four years without you here. I miss you more than words. I think about you all the time, heck, I’ve even dreamed about you. It’s so hard for me to put into words what I want to say because there is so much I wish I could have said to you while you were here. There’s so many things I wish I never took for granted such as playing volleyball with you outside, or all of our April fools day pranks that were so corny but we didn’t care. And those are just two minuscule things that we used to do together. I often find myself watching the videos we made when you were home from the hospital or even in the hospital. Just seeing you, and watching every move you made and your facial expressions just makes me miss you more. A big piece of me left when you went to be with Jesus. A piece I didn’t realize was so great until my best friend was no longer here with me. My best friend went to be with Jesus, and you gave me the privilege of feeling your last heartbeat here on earth. E, you were giving to people (me in this case) up until your last breath on Earth. Like what a blessing, what a gift you were and continue to be. I was mad at God for so long after you died. And after Athena passed, I was even more mad. God took away two of my best friends and just months apart. But Rach, I couldn’t stay mad. I tried. I could hear you telling me it was okay, that I would be okay. That we all would be okay. You are a light that will never grow dim, and you showed me love like no other love; God’s true unconditional love. That’s what you gave to people. That’s what you gave to me. I’m honored and privileged that God allowed me to be your big sister and that he allowed us to be so close. You led me to Jesus, baby girl. And He’s such a wonderful person to know. I hope for my faith to be as strong as yours was one day. Because you truly had faith even until your last moments here with us. E, I hope heaven is even more beautiful and more extraordinary than we could ever read about. I know you’re loving it up there and I know our family and Athena loves having you. I’ll never stop thinking about you, reminiscing on old times, or most of all loving you. You made life worth living and truly lived every day like it was your last. Fly high baby girl. We’ll all see you very soon, and then we can all be in the arms of Jesus and happy once more. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Forever and Always,
Big T