We were complicated people, you and I. We weren’t simple. Our minds were analytical and imaginative and we thought about everything. A lot. We ended up making every situation in our life about 100x more difficult than it had to be.
We argued a lot. I fought with you at inopportune times, but my anger was fueled by my passion and emotions for you. I cared. I loved you. I loved all of you. I loved that I was the only one you showed certain parts of yourself to, you gave me all of you.
I wiped your tears as you spoke about your family, there’s nothing in this world I loved more than holding your hand and whispering words of reassurance in your ear, because I knew you weren’t broken, you were just bent. And I loved all your edges, all your roughness. Your imperfections were perfect to me.
I challenged you because I loved you.
I confronted you a lot. I’m not the type of girl who nods and laughs and is always comfortable, I wasn't easy — as in, I didn't just "go with the flow.” But that’s because I craved more from you - I had opinions and big dreams for the future, I wanted the best for you. I never put up with not getting everything I deserved.
I never let you get away with slacking on your talents or putting in effort towards our relationship because I knew what we had. And you were never left uninspired.
There are many things I never thanked you for.
I thought I couldn’t live without you, but my heart is finally starting to beat again. You broke my heart open and new light got in, you made me so desperate and out of control that I had to transform my life, and I did.
I thought I would grow old with you, but sometimes, life has other plans. That doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you. When someone touches your heart, they will infinitely be there.
I had so much anger and pain, it was gnawing away at me, slowly destroying me. But then I realized that our love wasn’t the kind that results in the fusing of two lives into one, it was the kind of love that gave me new life, that taught me much more than a happily ever after ever could. And I don’t regret a second of it.