Reuven, I remember you sitting at the head of the table with Rabbi Eli on Shabbat. After Rabbi Eli would share an insightful thought on the parsha, he would turn to you and you would "cream and sugar". The niggun was called Kremenchug (here: https://www.chabad.org/multimedia/music_cdo/aid/4384391/jewish/Krementchuger-Nigun.htm).
But when you first heard the name, you said it sounded like "cream and sugar"... so that is what it became called. The cream and sugar nigun.
When you would ask for it, we all smiled... and then Rabbi Eli would belt out the melody and we would all close our eyes for a short meditation.
It was beautiful. I will always remember that.
We miss you. We love you. Please pray for us.

We remember Reuven with great fondness and with gratitude for his skilled teaching and eagerness to share his knowledge.

Ellen and Gary

This poem, published in Offcourse literary review, imagines us in Ithaca today.

Song of Air, Earth, and Rain
The funeral machinery
winds him to the ground.
We murmur,
and hold our little shovels
with the loam that will cover
and console him
when we travel home
through November air,
earth, and rain

That was a year ago,
we’re here again—
his daughters,
their spouses, the rabbi ,
and I. We’ve found him
in the same
fogged -up town
as if he’d always planned
to settle down here.

He hasn’t asked us where
we’ve been. He doesn’t care.
He only wants us
to find a pebble
on the ground,
and place the stone
on stone, then drink
some autumn rain
and breathe in
all the sweet
wet air we can.

I’d like to see my face
reflected in your eyes again.
I’d like to open the drawer
full of folded metaphors
from poems born
when you were by my side.
I’d like your ears
and mine to echo
the same song
about love’s joys—
l’amour, l’amour,
and the chagrin
that goes on and on

Oi Opher,
Feliz Aniversário!
É sempre bom lembrar com carinho o quão importante você foi na minha vida e carreira.
Que Deus o tenha.
Um beijão e "cuide-se" por aí .

Many of you have already heard me read this,. the Yehuda Amichai poem that most reminds me of Reuven

Poem Without An End

Inside the brand new museum
there's an old synagogue
Inside the synagogue
is me.
Inside me
my heart.
Inside my heart
a museum.
Inside the museum
a synagogue,
inside it
me.
Inside me
my heart,
inide my heart,
a museum.

 Yehuda Amichai, translated by Chana Bloch

What a terrific human being Reuven was! I'm amazed by his accomplishments but awed and humbled by his great humanity. He simply loved his life, his friends, his family, his partner, Sarah, and everyone in the expansive world he created. When I met him, visited his home, or had the pleasure to learn under his expert teaching, I was taken by his magnetic smile, the warmth of a thousand suns, his quick and quirky humor, his genuine affection, his unforgettable laughter. His memory is a blessing.

Dear Michal:

Reuven was one of my best friends and a colleague from whom I learned quite a lot of Physics. His creativeness and bold scientific attitude will remain forever in my remembrances. He was a light beacon for his students. The astronomy and physics Brazilian communities will always be grateful to him, for his examples and constructive guidance.

Ricardo Galvão

I remember the first time Reuven stepped into the office at Cornell. He scared me, but I soon learned what a sweet man he was. He was always a joy to have around and his smile would light up a room. He was a truly sweet and kind man and will surely be missed. 

Dear Michal!
I heard about your father's unexpected death and my feeling was a mixture of sadness and disbelief. As I am physically far away, everything happens as if he were still alive and that we could meet soon when all this crazy pandemic would be over. As they say here in Brazil “the coin is taking a long time to fall”. This is a kind of denial that many of us use in order to protect ourselves. It is difficult but we must accept that we will no longer have Opher nearby, sharing with us all his intelligence, culture and sense of humor. The memories remain and these are not going to be taken away. In the last few years, unfortunately, I also have lost other close people and that made me think a lot about death. Opher had a full life, of course, he could have lived much longer, but he accomplished a lot both personally and professionally. This is what we should focus now, celebrating everything he accomplished, all his contributions to Physics and especially to Brazilian Physics. We have lost a great leadership. I lost a very good friend who will remain with me in my thoughts and heart for the rest of my life. Sandra, my wife, also liked your father very much. She sends you a warm hug.
I hope you and Merav are doing well.
With great affection,
Ioav

I met Reuven when I first started graduate school, the first time I went to Chabad of Cornell. He instantly made me feel comfortable in the community as a fellow Jewish scientist. He exuded warmth and treated me like his own grandson. Reuven was a pillar of the Cornell Jewish community and though he was sorely missed when he moved to Columbia, we all looked forward to his visits back to Ithaca. Reuven's smile, knowledge, stories, questions, and his extraordinary kindness are just some of the things that make his passing an irrevocable loss.

Dear Michal
I did not have the pleasure of meeting your father, but knowing you, your brilliance, passion for science and your strength, I understand the role of your father in your life and career.
A father never really dies. He is there for his children for a lifetime, and then he remains in their hearts forever. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

Dear Michal,

I was privileged to join your father's circle of friends in the discussion groups at the Jack Dempsey restaurant and then on Zoom. Reuven was the professor I wish I had in college. He was more than a learned man, he was a wonderful person, a true mensch. He welcomed me (and everyone) into his discussion group and there was no question that he cared for all of us.

As much as he enjoyed imparting his love and understanding of physics to all of us, I can't remember a group meeting that he had a bigger smile than when he discussed, with evident pride, your work and your sister's work.

I miss my friend Reuven. 

May you and your family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem 

While I am very saddened by Reuven's loss, I am very glad to have had the chance to have known him, even if just a little. I fondly remember the Cosmology and Physics discussion sessions he would hold in the group office at Columbia. They were without fail, mind expanding and I always came out of our sessions wanting to learn more and was especially glad that he would indulge my incessant questioning even after those sessions were 'officially' over... And so that is one thing I will always associate with his memory. His exemplary passion for the world of science and curiosity in life remain an inspiration. So, in the spirit of standing on the shoulders of giants and all, I hope to continue to embody that spirit.

To absent friends...


Utsav.

Reuven was an imaginative and very original physicist. He had a broad knowledge in different fields and accordingly he would come up with brilliant ideas . Among them was the idea of measuring gravity waves in a very primitive setting. He didn’t succeed with the gravity waves, but he caused much excitement and discussions in the department. We worked in different fields of Physics, but we sang similar songs in Yiddish under his guitar accompaniment. It’s a great pity and a great loss for the Technion and for Israel that we haven’t managed to keep him in our Department.

יהי זכרו ברוך


יהושע זק

From Prof. Yehoshua Zak, Physics, Technion

A NOTE TO YOU

These days, your absence happens, settles in,
and grows. You are gone longer and longer every day.
In darkness, loss after loss occurs.

But wait. I just remembered your eyes,
and, with the mere thought,
everything I learned from them returns..

Caro Opher, escrevo em português porque o que segue é para você e, portanto, não poderia usar outra língua senão esta na qual conversávamos. Se vai ou não ler, está além de mim; o que está em mim, é escrever. Não há maior sabedoria do que saber que há coisas que não sabemos que não sabemos. Os golfinhos sabem algumas coisas, os pandas também, mas não sabem que quase nada sabem e, portanto, não podem se deslumbrar nem mesmo com o pouco que sabem. Alguns chamam a isso de consciência, outros de alma; não importa. O que importa é que poucos, dentre os que conheci, se deslumbraram tanto por saber quão pouco sabemos como você, e dentre estes, ainda menos o fizeram com tanta alegria e otimismo. Gostaria de ter te dito isso em um de nossos cafés. Mas você sabe, este é o tipo de coisa que só se pode dizer diante da obra finalizada. Agora, que a obra de sua vida está completa, posso fazê-lo sem medo de errar. Descanse em paz, meu amigo, descanse em paz! George

I only know Reuven through the "Cosmology for the Curious" sessions he held at Michal's house in Ithaca. He brought together a wonderful mix of people for those sessions, so diverse in age, interests, and backgrounds. It made for a lovely experience, the closest experience I've had to the idea of a salon.

Reuven is the only person I've ever known who had the faith in people and the interest in people, to do such a thing.

Reuven gave me a lot of support and inspirations back at Cornell. I remember when I was working on optomechanics projects, he would always encourage me to think about all possibilities, applications in astronomy, quantum etc. He has always been warm, kind and encouraging whenever I talked with him. I cherish all the memory with him and it is good to see all the photos with him.

Best wishes for you and your family.

Reuven - you are an absolute sweetheart. You always looked at me, my wife Miri and my kids and reminded me of how blessed I am. I see that can only come from a person who themselves treasures their loved ones. Although a passionate scientist, you always found a way to introduce the romance and drama of life to bring every pursuit to life and joy (l'chaim). I thoroughly enjoyed every moment we shared and I will hold your perspective dear all my days.
Furthermore, the week of your passing was the week that Reuven (the biblical son of Jacob was born in the parsha - Vayeitzei). I think this is so you. You're not gone. You're just born. You're born and alive in all of us and we love you!

Uncle Reuven. This is our last goodbye. So glad to have had you close. Even if there were large intervals we did not see each other, I can say you had a place in all our hearts. Not the same place, but a different place for each of us. Even if you now have left us for good, luckely we still have you with us. Your insights, your laughter, your constant curiousness about the outer (and inner) universes.
Condolensies to all you left behind. Love from Copenhagen - Isabella, Zofia, Albert and Robert.

I was one of his first PhD students in Brasil, at IAG - Universidade de São Paulo, where I'm currently a full professor. I was one of his "Opheretes". This is how Vera, Adriana and myself used to be called due to our performances as "singers" of Opher's musical parodies, with him playing the guitar, in the famous SAP (Sociedade Astronômica Paralela) shows at the Annual Brazilian Astrononical Society Conferences, or in the Advanced Schools of Astronomy and Astrophysics, in the late eighties and early nineties, or even later on, in the "Challenges... Workshops".

Regarding Science, of course I learned a lot with Opher who first introduced Plasma Astrophysics to me with his everlasting contagious enthusiasm. But, perhaps, the most important lesson I got from him was that he always encouraged us to think and act with an open spirit in Science, to be broadminded, to seek out for new challenges, trying to realize how a given theory or physical process could have applicability in a broad context or scale, from stellar to cosmological scales. This is something I always valued deeply and try to teach to my own students. We try to continue his legacy.

Farewell my forever Advisor, Colleague and Dearest Friend. Rest in Peace (if you can stop for a minute!) in the arms of God. 

Merav, Michal and Sara, my warmest hugs.

A wonderful human being! Reuven showed us a universe that most of us have trouble comprehending. He was always patient and tolerant with those of us who found it difficult to grasp many of the ideas of the great men and women he introduced us to. He also had some some fascinating insights into Jewish history. Happy, cheerful snd modest (despite his vast knowledge) his passing is a tremendous shock. I feel blessed to have known hIm!

Reuven was a great adult education teacher. He brought to his classes kindness and respect for his students as well as impressive content knowledge and teaching skill. He was a warm, generous person.

Deepest condolences to Sarah, Michal, and all Reuven's family.

I have a very warm memory about Reuven. He made a big impact in my life because he helped me to study for a very difficult exam. He would come to the lab every week just to sit with me and explain me how to solve complicated physics problems, and always with a big smile! I learnt a lot from him and I will always remember his kindness and wisdom.

Oscar Jimenez, Michal's student at NYC

I only knew Reuven for the past year as a teacher and fellow student. Nonetheless I am experiencing his death as a serious loss. Of course he was a passionate teacher and student, but as I reflect back, what lingers most is his unique spirit. He was always good natured, enjoyed himself and enjoyed others. He was kind and cheerful. He had a delightful sense of humor with just a touch of mischief. And of course he was one of those people for whom ideas, taught or learned, were always joyful.

We fondly remember Reuven and Erella for their beautiful kind smiles. The way they always looked at each other vividly showed their mutual affection and respect.

We also remember them for the deep love and pride they had for Michal and Mera.

While we knew them only for a brief period of time, their genuine warmth and authentic care impressed us the most. We miss them deeply.

May their souls Rest In Peace.
With much love and admiration,

Zhila & Hormoz

Dear MIchal, Meirav

We deeply share your loss. Reuven was such a dear friend with love of real problems in Physics and engineering such great time to be together.
We can't think of him with out humming "Yellow birds up on the banana tree..." Or without stirring prayer music .
He will be with us always.

Dear Michal, it's really hard to write words. Thanks very much for letting us know him and learn from him. And thanks for sharing all these beautiful pictures, one can have a timeless gaze at each of them. All those good times and memories of interacting with Reuven with those calm smiles, tilted head, and profound thinking, will be deeply remembered in our mind.  

What a great tribute to your father. We could really see his love and kindness in the photographs. I'm sorry that we never had a chance to meet him, but he must have been wonderful to have produced a daughter like you. Mary and I wish you and your family the best during this very sad time.

I had the pleasure of knowing Reuven during my time in Ithaca. After talking to him, I was often full of new ideas… he had a way of inspiring confidence and curiosity. His presence was always joyful and welcoming, and he will be missed.

Michal, Alex and family,
  What a wonderful tribute to your dad. We enjoyed what little time we spent with him. An incredibly accomplished and exceptional man. Our deepest sympathies to you and your family.

The DiBiase Family

Dear Michal,

I am sad to hear that your Dad left us. I was not lucky enough to meet him, but hearing so many times you quoting his inspiring perspectives was enough to imagine how impactful of a father and scientist he was. Being a father now, I am sure that his foremost mission was accomplished as you and Merav sure brought him joy and pride beyond reasonable. I also recall your attitude of bringing him to your garden when his age advanced, once more demonstrating the big-hearted girl he raised; I am sure him and your family spent priceless moments over the last years.

I loved sharing Reuven with my friends, and it was wonderful how much they enjoyed him. I thought I would add some things they said about him in notes and in person.

Barbara said " What a nice man he was…warm, friendly and funny as well as very smart.  I still chuckle when I remember asking him for help with my iPhone ……after all, he was a scientist and should know about such
things! HIs response was, " go ask a five year old!” .   When I am totally frustrated by all the technology that we have to deal with, I think of that and feel less incompetent. 

Judith said: "Reuven was always so warm and welcoming toward me. There is a black hole within us all.

Irene said: What a lovely man he was: so wise, so gentle and so funny.

Susanna said: Such an elegant, cultured and sweet man. You two are the story I've told my friends who felt they might never love again.

Susan said: Each time I met him I remarked upon how warm, how generous, how kind he was. 

Estha said: He warmed you up.

I was deeply saddened to hear of Reuven's passing, but it has been amazing to see how his spirit lives on through all of the memories and impressions he has made through everyone he connected with. Reuven is and always will be such an integral part of our research group - always coming to us with the most difficult, deepest, almost existential, questions about our work and at the same time being our biggest fan. For Reuven, there was no audience that could not learn a certain topic, which really showed his passion for sharing knowledge with others. I will forever carry and pass on these lessons as a researcher, teacher, and lifelong student and cherish the opportunity that Michal provided us to learn from him. We will miss him dearly and his huge smile.

With love,

Aseema Mohanty

When I joined Michal's group at Cornell and was time for my first group meeting, Reuven was the first person to greet and welcome me, "Hello, are you new? Welcome!" I also remember, he wanted some help with a printer malfunction and I was the only person in the office. He seemed a little hesitant to approach for help simply because he thought I was focused onto something (plus, he used to seek Moshe for help, but he wasn't there). I caught him with my peripheral vision and asked him if he needed help with something. Then, he smiled, grateful that I caught his attention. And I can never forget that smile. It was Reuven's signature charming smile :)

Reuven was the kind of person where even such small encounters have left forever lasting memories. Reuven, you will be terribly missed.

Brian Lee (alumni of Michal's group)

Dear Michal, Merav and Family,

Reuven, as the brother of my father, Noel, had a naturally important place in my family. In addition, however, Reuven was a very special person with modesty, humour, curiosity, intelligence, and a desire to listen to others.

Reuven is a person to remember and to learn from even when he is no longer here. I believe he can still help to guide us with his humanity to find the right way in a changing world with new ethical challenges every day.

We will miss him very much, I'm glad he got a close relationship with my kids, Alfred and Leah before he sadly left us.

Alfred, Leah and David

Dear Michal, my deepest condolences to you and your family for the loss of the beloved father, husband, father-in-law, grandfather and friend that he was. I had little contact with your father, met him twice in São Paulo and twice in Ithaca, but I was always impressed by his simplicity and his warm, generous and wise way of communicating, really a very special person. When all this pain is gone, it will only be the longing for who is gone. This longing will always make your chest tighten, but the memory that stays alive in your heart, will give you strength to smile again. A big, solidary and fraternal hug.

מיכל, מירב ומשפחה יקרה,
קשה להאמין שאבא שלכן איננו. אני זוכרת אותו תמיד מחייך, מספר סיפורים בחוש הומור, רגוע, מתעניין בשלום כולם, עניין אמיתי וחם. אני שמחה שיצא לי יותר להכיר אותו יותר מקרוב בשנים האחרונות ולהיות עדה לקשר המיוחד שלו איתכן. רק להסתכל על שתיכן ולראות לאן הגעתן שתי פיזקאיות מבריקות, נשים פורצות דרך בתחומכן, אפשר לראות את חותמו של אבא.
מאחלת לכן שלא תדעו עוד צער, חיבוק חזק
נאוה

Michal and Family,
I am very sad to hear about your loss.
I met Reuven only once when he visited San Diego, but connected with him as a scientist and as former Technion Professor. At the time Reuven was Doctoral advisor of my advisor. I wish you all long life.
Sincerely
Shaya

Hi Michal,

I am really at a loss of words on hearing this. I was hoping that things will get better after I last talked with you on Friday, which is also why I am a bit late in sending this message - it took me a while to digest.

Reuven has influenced our thoughts and science so much, and I can't fathom how difficult it must be for you, especially after all that 2020 has been for you and your family.

I am sure Reuven will continue to be a guiding star for you and us, in a different way - virtually. We were lucky to learn about cosmology in the lectures/discussions in our group he led at Columbia. And his questions during group meetings and otherwise were ever-thought-provoking. He completely revamped the way I introduced squeezed light and the quantum uncertainty principle in my first ever CLEO talk. Even when Gaurang and I visited Reuven at the hospital a few years ago, he was asking about our future science career plans, unfettered by any health issues he was facing. I have missed all of these dearly since moving to the west coast.

Please take care, and stay safe and healthy! If times were different (non-pandemic) and I was geographically closer, I'd have liked to pay a visit on one of the evenings at this difficult time...

Warm regards,
Avik Dutt (alumni of Michal's group)

Newcomer that I was to Reuven’s universe — having yielded to his irresistible gravitational pull a mere four months ago — I can’t say enough about how grateful I am to have had the good fortune to know to have been invited to orbit and, hence, to get to know and learn from your dad, however briiefly, kind our generous mensch and brilliant and exuberant guide that he was — and how privileged I feel to have been part of this evening’s Zoom shiva session. He is greatly missed. Please include me in any notice of celebrations of his rich life to come.

All good wishes and heartfelt condolences,
Ben (Patrusky)

מיכל, מרב, שרה, ומשפחה יקרים,
בהלם רב ובתדהמה קיבלנו את הבשורה המרה על פטירתו של ראובן.
ראובן ואראלה היו חברים טובים שלנו בחיפה . היכרנו אותם לפני יותר מחמישים שנה. גידלנו יחד את הילדים שלנו, יצאנו יחד לטיולים מאתגרים , ונהנינו מאוד מחברתם. יהושע בעלי נתן לבנות את שמותיהן המתחילים באות מם, לזכרו של משה, מוריס, אביו של ראובן. משחר ילדותן, היו מיכל ומירב מקור שמחה, וזכורני כיצד התפעלנו מגדילתן ומבגרותן.
בגילנו המופלג, קשה מאוד לאבד חבר. ראובן ואראלה היו מארחים מעולים, היא היתה אחראית לכיבוד הטעים, והוא היה מנעים את חברתנו בנגינה בגיטרה ובשירה. היה לו קול נפלא המהדהד עד היום באוזני. שיר שאנחנו זוכרים משירי פסטיבל הילדים- שהתחיל כך: "יש לי דוב אחד קטן", ואחריו הפזמון :"שובי, דובי דובי"- ראובן היה פורט על הגיטרה ועיניו היו שוחקות ומשקפות את ליבו החם. הוא ידע להקשיב, וגילה תמיד עניין בזולת, תוך כבוד ותשומת לב אמיתיים. התמזל מזלנו להיות שוב בחברתו לפני שנים אחדות בניו יורק, ולהכיר את שרה המקסימה . מאוחר יותר הם באו לביקור קצר בישראל שגרם לכולנו הנאה גדולה. את מיכל פגשנו בארץ עם ראובן והיה לנו עונג רב לבלות איתם, לא ידענו אז שזו תהיה פגישתנו האחרונה איתו. את מירב פגשנו לפני שנים אחדות אצל חברה בלוס אנג'לס. שתיכן זכיתן לאבא מופלא ומיוחד!
פטירתו של ראובן היא אבידה ענקית למשפחה, לחברים, ולקהילה המדעית. הוא יחסר לכולנו בשבת, בחג , ובכל ימות השנה בידע הרב, באישיותו הנעימה, בהליכותיו, בצניעותו, ובחום הרב שהקרין על סביבתו. והגעגועים הולכים ומתגברים...
אנחנו משתתפים באבלכם הכבד ושולחים לכם חיבוק חם,
שלא תדעו עוד צער,
יהי זכרו ברוך!
תמי פלשטיינר
דצמבר 2020

In Loving Memory of Reuven, Thank you for being such a kind soul, a wonderful teacher and more importantly, a loving grandfather to each one in our group. We will cherish our memories with you forever

By Shriddha Chaitanya Michal's student, NYC (originally published on legacy.com)

November 29, 2020 | New York, NY

In Loving Memory of Reuven, Thank you for being such a kind soul, a wonderful teacher and more importantly, a loving grandfather to each one in our group. We will cherish our memories with you forever

By Shriddha Chaitanya Michal's student, NYC (originally published on legacy.com)

November 29, 2020 | New York, NY

Reuven was a great friend and an important influence in my career as a physicist. He was a true mensch, capable of doing anything he set his mind to do, from experimental to theoretical physics, from playing guitar to being a hazzam. He was always full of enthusiasm and a great storyteller. I will miss him dearly.

Rogerio Rosenfeld

November 29, 2020 | Sao Paulo | Friend (originally published on legacy.com)

Reuven was a great friend and an important influence in my career as a physicist. He was a true mensch, capable of doing anything he set his mind to do, from experimental to theoretical physics, from playing guitar to being a hazzam. He was always full of enthusiasm and a great storyteller. I will miss him dearly.

Rogerio Rosenfeld

November 29, 2020 | Sao Paulo | Friend (originally published on legacy.com)

Reuven was a terrific discussion group leader/teacher at the Institute for Retired Professionals and his intellect and warm friendship will be sorely missed.

Maury Harris

November 29, 2020 | New York, NY | Friend (originally published on legacy.com)

We all loved Reuven and will miss him dearly. He is now with his lovely wife.

Shlomo Noren

November 29, 2020 | NY | Friend (originally published on legacy.com)

Reuven was a great teacher and one of the warmest people I’ve ever known. He loved explaining the most complicated science—the origin of the universe or the structure of the atom —to nonscientists—an entire classroom or just a small group eager to learn, like his last, wonderful class in quantum mechanics.
Reuven’s intellectual interests were so widespread. His class on the early history of Israel and the Old Testament was lively and skeptical.
Most of all, Reuven loved people. So many of us in the IRP profited from his personal warmth and humor. I will never forget Reuven. He will be sorely missed.

Dan Hertzberg, classmate, NYC (originally published on legacy.com)