Its always around this time where I feel so alone. Alot of people could talk to me and I would still feel that emptiness. That one person who held it all together is no longer here. I took her for granted. I was young and didnt know better. She did everything she could to raise me the right way. Ive failed her so much these past few years. But Im trying to get back on my feet. I want her to be proud of me. I always start thinking negative but I will try to think positive this time. I remember going to church with her all time. I really loved it. I stopped going to church after she passed away and now I really regret it. I remember her teaching me how to sew. I remember the days I used to go to the park with her. She took care of me and when she passed away, I felt like my whole world was gone. I still feel like that at times. I miss the days I used to share a room with her. We used to stay up at night listening to gospel music in spanish and she taught me a few songs. I got sad when she eventually moved out. Around this time, I sometimes catch myself singing the songs "El Shaddai" and "Cristo Me Ama." She was so down to earth. An angel on earth. She never complained and took things as they were. The months she was in the hospital was the hardest. Seeing her like that was killing me. To know I never spoke to her all that time hurts. All I said was "hi" one day and that was it. I remember buying her a stuffed animal and she told me to hold on to it. I guess she knew it was close to her time. This emptiness I feel will never go away.
Happy Birthday Tia (Rhoda Esther Bermudez)!!!! I love you and miss you sooooo much.!!!!!
~6/30/35-7/13/06
Primero que nada quiero darle gracias a Dios por haberme permitido tener la madre que tuve, por todo el amor que le brindó a su familia, (hijos , sobrinos , nietos, esposo, hermanos, hermanas y amigos. Por su templanza, su fuerza de voluntad y sacrificios. Pero quiero pedirle perdon por no haberla acompañado cuando más me necesitó. Gacias madre por ese amor que siempre me brindaste y quiero que sepas donde quieras que estes, que como tú, nadie, que Dios te bendiga.
