Mom's Driving Habits

Shared by Kathryn Feltner on February 13, 2019

     You know the other day I was reminded of how crazy a driver our mom was. How we would say to each other, please GOD let us live through this as we held on tight to our car seats. So hard our hands were stark white when we got to where we needed to go. I instantly thought of you Ronnie, and the look on our faces as we went through another drive with mom. I remember being so scared. We would always be like, wheww we made it, amazing!! I had a good laugh with my husband as I told him the story. He said now those are the things to remember about him. I love you Ronnie. I miss you terribly you know.



The Day I Felt Your Physical Presence

Shared by Kathryn Feltner on January 17, 2012

      I sit here holding my daughter in my arms and thoughts of you come to me. I love and miss you so much Ronnie. I guess I always will. It was 2 months after your passing on April 14th. I went to my OB/GYN for a female issue to get checked out. They always do a urine pregnancy test at my doctor's office when you come in. When my doctor came in to talk to me she had said that we did the urine test on you and it came back positive. You are pregnant. I was so shocked by the news I was like I can't be pregnant. My period had ben absent for about 60 days but I thought nothing of it as I have gone 90 days without one due to stress and after the news of your death I just figured my menses were a no show.  Dr. DaSilva said we did the urine test on you and it came back positive you are pregnant. I again said it can't be positive. She then said you and your husband are trying for a baby, right? and I said yes we are. She then said the test is positive, you are pregnant Kathryn. She left the room and I just sat there with my bottom lip on the floor in shock. She came back in and told me to schedule my first OB appointment with the front desk and congratulations. I became happy for the fist time since you died. You see I was so sad over your loss that I started feeling like I was drowning and couldn't breathe. Like I swimming and swimming for the surface but just couldn't get there. As I walked out to my car I was walking slowly. Once I got there I called my BF and told her the news and told her not to say anything to anyone until I told Gray. As I opened the car door to get in the wind picked up from complete stillness and blew furiously. I felt the feeling of a warm blanket falling over my shoulders and it was then that I felt you near me Ronnie. It was a moment and a day I will never forget. GOD closed one door and opened a window for me that day. The day I found out I was going to be a mom. As I drove home I was so happy for the news of my unexpected pregnancy, and for the feeling of your presence so near me. It was a great day in my life. I miss you more than you will ever know Ronnie. I have dreamed of you, and woke up feeling the loss of you in my life all over again, but at least I get to see you in my dreams. I love you my dearest brother.

Memories of My Dear Brother

Shared by Kathryn Feltner on January 14, 2012

      Ronnie was born on March 4, 1975. He was always such a nice little boy my mom says. He was a funny brother and so much fun to be around. I remember driving him in my grandprix. Where he was agrivating me by changing the radio station repeatedly, trying to find the "right" song. That was Ronnie. I remember when I did not know where he was living and could not send him an invite to my wedding. I was upset about that. Then out of the clear blue he called Mom the night before I was to take my vows to the man I so loved and still do. There I was in my big beautiful ballgown wedding dress and my brother just casually walked in the church. I turned around, don't know why but when I did there he was, arms outstretched. We gave the biggest hug and I cried my first tears of that day. I said how did you know I was getting married today? He said I found out from Mom. He said I looked beautiful, and that he loved me. Even more tears came. Then my best friend said I would mess my makeup up and to stop. So I did. Ronnie was so honest and funny and helpful. I'm so glad I had the chance to know him and that I get to call him "my brother". I miss you Ronnie. I love you.

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