ForeverMissed
Rosammah Stanislaus, family and community matriarch and our beautiful rose, peacefully died on Sunday, Feb. 14, after several years of declining health. She died in Greensboro, where she moved years ago, surrounded by her family.She led a remarkable journey of love, inspiration, guidance, courage and tenacity that opened the eyes, minds and hearts of everyone she touched.

Rose, her official name after she became a U.S. citizen in 1977, was born on Oct. 25, 1931 to parents Lillippoo Mudiyappan and Daniel Vairaven, both deceased, in Ceylon, which is now known as the Republic of Sri Lanka.

She graduated from Jaffna Holy Family Covent, a national school, in Jaffna, Sri Lanka and completed bookkeeping classes in Sri Lanka. She married Santiago Stanislaus on Dec. 28, 1959, and they had three children – two sons and one daughter. After he traveled to the U.S. to create a better life for his family, Rose, who’d never left her home country, traveled in 1968 with her three children alone to meet him and establish themselves in the U.S.

The family settled in Staten Island, New York, where they lived for 26 years and later moved to New Jersey. While in New York, Rose took accounting classes at the College of Staten Island and got a certificate from the City University of New York.

Rose worked for CIT Financial Group in Manhattan, New York as a bank clerk and retired from the now Bank of New York Mellon Corporation as a bookkeeper.

Since Rose and Stan were one of the earliest Sri Lankan Tamil immigrants to move to Staten Island, they opened their home to other immigrants, advising and nurturing  them, showing them around Staten Island and Manhattan and serving as surrogate family and friends. She was the heart of her family’s Staten Island home that was the center of celebration, and guidance for so many to become the better part of themselves.  Rose was a family person who loved to cook, including preparing traditional Sri Lankan meals. In addition to her three children, she unofficially adopted many others and never forgot their birthdays or those of their children. She took pride in her family and celebrated their accomplishments and those of her grandchildren.

She relished being called Amma, which means mom, auntie and grandma

Rose never met a stranger, loved deeply and always helped those in need. She loved a good party and adored being around friends and family, often hosting large Thanksgiving gatherings to all looking for a good meal. Despite being small in stature, Rose was a fighter and was passionate about her beliefs. While dementia tried to rob her of her memory, she fought on tirelessly and maintained her grace, gentile nature and distinguished aura.

Rose is survived by her husband of 62 years, Stan; three children, Raj (wife Pam), Mathy (wife Suganthy) and Amutha (husband James); four grandchildren, Brandon, Morgan, Jensen and Faith; one great grandchild Dominic and a host of nieces and nephews. Her parents and brother, Daniel Mariathasan, preceded her in death.

While our hearts are broken at the loss of our Rose, we know that her velvety petals and intoxicating aroma will live on in eternity and her loving spirit will guide us forever.

Funeral arrangements through Woodard Funeral Home Greensboro NC(see website: woodardfuneralhomeinc.com)
Posted by Pathmajan Rasan on February 26, 2021
I knew Auntie Rose for most of my adult life. She had a huge heart, immense empathy and boundless willingness to care. She made the most fundamental difference in the most understated manner to those in her orbit. I feel blessed to have known her. She has left a mark in my heart. Rest in peace Auntie Rose.

Pathmajan & Urmila
Posted by Pathma Jegan on February 24, 2021
My Anta is the only sibling for my father. I was born before she got married and was the first grandchild on that side. She loved and adored me. I was the first to call her Anta and I am proud of that.

Anta sponsored me in 1977. I lived with her and her family for a few years. I praise the Lord for that quality time I had with her to get to know her better and to be taken care of by her. She loved me and my family so much. She adored my girls like they were her own grandchildren.

She is a loving ,caring and genuine Anta. She can love anyone and did love everyone. She lived like Jesus, caring for and helping anyone who crossed her path, showering them with unconditional love. She brightens the room with her sweet smile.

I visited Jaffna in 2018 after 40 years of coming to America. Many of our relatives still remember her and asked about her fondly. She left Sri Lanka in 1968, but many still remember her caring for and tutoring them.

I have many good memories with her. Since I moved to Buffalo in 1988, I looked forward to our trips to Staten Island to see her. THe last time I saw her was in 2018. I replay or quick conversation over and over for my comfort.

She has a beautiful family and a loving daughter who cared for her in her older years. My heartfelt condolences to Uncle, Rajan, Mathy ,Amutha and their families during this difficult time. 

She lived a full, blessed life and I am grateful to the Lord for bestowing on her many riches. I know she is with Jesus resting peacefully.

I love you Anta and I know you are blessing us with your spirit. May your soul rest in peace. 

Pathma, Jegan and children
Posted by Suri Mariathasan on February 24, 2021
One of the fondest memories of aunty is the first day I was introduced to be an in-law to the Mariathasan family. From the moment my eyes met her eyes it became relevant that I had a partner in crime. Aunty & uncle welcomed me to the family with open arms and a huge heart and continued till her last breath. I was privileged to see aunty two years ago and yes we did a lot of GOSSIPING. Aunty loved it and always made me smile. We have lost a Terrific aunty my heart felt condolences and sympathy to dear Uncle Stan, Mathy, Raj & Amutha and families. Aunty’s soul will be resting in peace. Love ❤️ you aunty you touched my life!
Posted by Shantha Pandian on February 23, 2021
Anta our hearts are saddened by your death. Only consolation we have is you are in heaven with the our Lord who made us. I am always great full for you and uncle for helping our family to come here to make a life for us and also taking care of in the beginning stages of our lives.
We will always miss you and pray for your soul and for your family left behind. I always think about the good times, parties, weekends we spend with you and the family in your house and how you and uncle took good care of us. Our deepest condolences to the family. Love you all. ❤️
Posted by Reuben Sivagnanam on February 22, 2021
There are so many things that come to our mind, when we think of Rose Aunty - loving, caring, witty to name a few. Everytime she spoke to us, she made sure to inquire about each and everyone of our sibilings. She was truly concerned for their well being even though she had never met most of them.

It was just a few weeks ago that we face timed with Aunty (Thanks to Amutha). It was a short but a lovely conversation. She made us laugh, while she kept a straight face. We will always remember that conversation. We were fortunate for the unwavering relationship that we had with Aunty, from the very first time we met until the end.


   We thought of you in love today,
but that is nothing new,
   We thought about you yesterday,
and days before that, too,
    We think of you in silence,
we often speak your name
    Now all we have is memories
and your picture in a frame.
    Your memories is our keepsake,
with which we’ll never part,
     God has you in his keeping,
we have you in our hearts.


Rest in Peace, Aunty Rose
Jeeni & Reuben
Posted by Thiru siva on February 21, 2021
In mid 1976,when we moved to Staten Island it was a welcome news that there is a Sri Lankan Tamil family already residing in the Island. Rose and Stan along with their three kids were always pleasant and welcoming.Number of get togethers and parties at their home in Arlington place are too many to enumerate. The good times we had and the friendship we developed over the years are very special to us.
Our fond memories of Rose will remain in our hearts forever.
Rathy &Siva
Posted by Naresh Gunaratnam on February 21, 2021
So sorry fir your loss. I remember aunty from all the parties ( néw years) and dinners your family hosted. She was an amazing cook!  When my father died your family tracked 250 miles from SI to Cambridge to support us. We will never forget that act of kindness to support my mom who was widowed in her 40’s with two teenage sons.  As one of the families that benefited from her mentoring and guidance I would like to say thank you. I know her loss is painful however you have great memories and had the gift of having her witness your successes and experience all her grandchildren.  One can not ask for anything more. I have nothing but joy and smiles whenever I think of her. Please accept the condolences from the Gunaratnam and Iswara families. 
Posted by Joy Jeyarajah on February 20, 2021
These are few of the terrible things
That no one has to live with
If only you loved deeply like Aunty Rose

A Poem

Why shutter the doors and windows
And wail of loneliness
Why not break free from the shackles
That you have bound yourselves with
Right now open wide all the shutters
To the light that illuminates even the darkest nook
To the wind that carries the seed of unbiased truth
To the rain that would wash the most resilient smut
Exclude not your eyes, your ears, your heart, your mind
Watch then the downpour of wisdom
Behold the loving that's been always around you
With eyes closed, with a mind blemished
You cry “Why is beauty withheld from me?”
With ears shut, with an acrimonious heart
You cry “why is melody absent from my life?”
Without the night would you ever long for the day?
But in the mid of the night, you open your eyes but a moment
Then proclaim, "I knew it, I knew it, there's nothing to see, surely not beauty"
So, alas, when dawn came you saw nothing
The sun shone, your mind, though, remained in the dark
You heard the sound taking tentative steps so it may gather learning
That infant fell, you shut your ears, saying, “No way could this produce music"
So when the chamber filled with music to touch the stars
You heard nothing except the bitterness of your heart

Joy Jeyarajah
Posted by Mohan Yogendran on February 20, 2021
I only met Rose a couple of times as my family and I live in the UK but we count her children as some of our closest friends for nearly 40 years, and I know what a strength she has been to them as they've navigated their way through their lives. And I see such warm and loving personalities in them that they have drawn from their parents. Rose and her husband were such pioneers being early settlers amongst the Sri Lankan Tamil community in the USA, and in many conversations with their son Mathy, we saw much parallels between his parents and mine in the way they provided a warm welcome to so many others who needed practical help and guidance when they came to a new land. God bless Rose and all the family.
Posted by Jody Finkel on February 19, 2021
Mathy, Suganthy & family - Arthur and I extend our deepest condolences on the loss of your Amma. We didn't know her well, but can clearly see the impact of her strength and beauty in the wonderful people you are. 
We are sure that she was enormously proud of you, Mathy, as you rose to the highest levels of our government and as you have continued to have a lasting impact on everyone around you, but especially those less fortunate, those left behind.  Our prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.
Posted by Joy Jeyarajah on February 18, 2021
I still remember meeting Aunty Rose and Amutha for the first time in Toronto in the Summer of 1990. I still remember how happy my father-in-law was to host you and how protective he was of the two of you, especially in Uncle Stan’s absence. Selva-Stan friendship is a long, deep and a full one. It was because of Uncle Stan and Aunty Rose my father-in-law and mother-in-law came to Canada. It was of that friendship that I got to know them. We became so close that Aunty Rose felt so free to ask me to make mutton curry, முருங்கைக்காய்
கறி, chicken fry, fried rice, Sri Lankan cutlet, anything of her liking whenever she visited us in Toronto and even when we visited them in Staten Island and later in New Jersey. She was full of love and joy. In fact, she knew of my struggles to conceive, to have a baby. When she came to Toronto with Mathy and Uncle Stan in November of 2005, we all had dinner at Karaikuddi Chettinaad restaurant. The moment she laid eyes on me, she proclaimed, “You are pregnant, are you not.” Even I did not know that yet and I told her so. She said, “The way you are glowing, I am sure you are”. The following Monday I went for a blood test and sure enough, I was. This would not be just a one time occurrence, this “clairvoyance”, for want of a better word. The next time I met her in Toronto was in July of 2008. That would be the last time she visited Toronto. I had prepared all the foods she had asked me to. My husband, Tim, was worried that all that rich food might not be good for her health. I was carrying my second child and the child was due in mid August. When I went to pick them up at Uncle Stan’s brother’s house, as soon as she saw me she exclaimed, “You are going to have a girl this time”. Of course I already knew because I had got it checked. I told her so and asked how she knew, and she said, “She has sucked up so much of your beauty, she better be good looking”. Aunty Rose was capable of such “plain speak” because of her utter sincerity and total truthfulness. Though they were my in-law’s friends, both Uncle Stan and Aunty Rose were like family to me. We opened our hearts, our stories, our joys, and our sorrows to each other. There was nothing we felt ashamed to share and nothing we felt too small or too important to share. She was candid and sincere. She did everything from a heart full of love. Uncle Stan and Aunty Rose’s romance and abiding love through the many trials, the tribulations, successes and recognition was steadfast and a beacon of hope for anyone embarking on a journey of romance and love.

We will miss you so Aunty Rose. But you have left us with beautiful memories to remember you by. You will be in our hearts as long as we live or until our minds are robbed of memory. Hope you get to meet my wonderful and amazing father-in-law there. If you do, tell him thank you for all what he was, tell him how much Tim and I miss him and to take care of you until such time uncle Stan is called there. I can imagine a corner of heaven filling up with your laughter and a bit more fragrant because of your cooking.
Posted by James Rajanayagam on February 17, 2021
My Dearest Sister, As I reflect on the many years we have spent together I realize most of my accomplishments would not be possible without you. In many ways you have assisted in molding me into the man, husband and father that I have become thank you for greatness and genorcity.

I remember our last visit together and how much you loved to entertain and always enjoyed a gathering of friends and family. Every time we visited you made my family and I seem like one of your own children.

Unfortunately we were unable to visit you in your final days, however we like many find comfort in knowing your finally at peace.

Your loss has truly sadden our entire family but your spirit and life lessons will always live on through us. Until we meet again.

Thasan and Agatha
Posted by Illa Gandhi on February 17, 2021
Amutha, Mathy, and Uncle,

My deepest condolences to you and family on losing Rose Aunty. This is a beautiful tribute to a wonderful and strong woman who was an inspiration to her loving family and us. Her heart was so big. She always made me feel like a daughter too. She welcomed all of us as family. Her effervescent personality and her ever beautiful smile was always embracing and loving. I will miss her always. 
Sending you all big hugs and prayers of healing and love.
Posted by Amutha Latta on February 17, 2021
To my sweet sweet mom, Valentines Day, will never be the same , you left us on a day where love flourishes. It won’t be sadness I will feel, it will be, me remembering how much you loved me and so many. Thank you for being my mother, it has been an honor to have spent these years taking care of you up till the final hour. Your last few weeks you showed so many how strong willed you were , and how much you will fight for us. But it was time, you fought the good fight, you are in heaven now, no more pain and struggles, just laughing and smiling.
Your road wasn’t always easy, your strength and tenacity pushed you through so much. I love you and admire you for everything you have done for me and the family. It gives me such peace to know how you have been an inspiration to so many. You will be missed by so many.
James, Faith and will always make sure Appa is taking care of. Although our home will be quieter without , your love still fills the space.
I will miss you forever and a day...I know you will watch over us.... til we meet again.
Posted by Darshini Satchi on February 16, 2021
She was a loving person to all of us and will always be a role model for me. Her story of coming to this country and what she accomplished is courageous and inspiring. She created her own path and embraced others who needed her guidance. She always showed love, compassion, and strength. I miss her and she will always be an important part of my life.
Posted by Karuna Kanagaratnam on February 16, 2021
We moved to Utah in 1998 and as a result we did not see Rose as often as we would have liked. Despite that, on the occasions I did see her, she always asked about our family and how we were doing. She was genuine, kind and a caring person. She always had a sparkle in her eyes and I always enjoyed our encounters...

I would like to extend my condolences to Mr. James Stanislaus, Raj, Mathy ,Amutha, grand children and Great grand child.

May she rest in peace!
Posted by Celestina Perera on February 16, 2021
Amutha and family - I met Aunty Rose briefly but no matter felt a warmth in our meeting in Greensboro when Suri and I visited. Stay strong and keep the faith. Sorry for your loss.

Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Pathmajan Rasan on February 26, 2021
I knew Auntie Rose for most of my adult life. She had a huge heart, immense empathy and boundless willingness to care. She made the most fundamental difference in the most understated manner to those in her orbit. I feel blessed to have known her. She has left a mark in my heart. Rest in peace Auntie Rose.

Pathmajan & Urmila
Posted by Pathma Jegan on February 24, 2021
My Anta is the only sibling for my father. I was born before she got married and was the first grandchild on that side. She loved and adored me. I was the first to call her Anta and I am proud of that.

Anta sponsored me in 1977. I lived with her and her family for a few years. I praise the Lord for that quality time I had with her to get to know her better and to be taken care of by her. She loved me and my family so much. She adored my girls like they were her own grandchildren.

She is a loving ,caring and genuine Anta. She can love anyone and did love everyone. She lived like Jesus, caring for and helping anyone who crossed her path, showering them with unconditional love. She brightens the room with her sweet smile.

I visited Jaffna in 2018 after 40 years of coming to America. Many of our relatives still remember her and asked about her fondly. She left Sri Lanka in 1968, but many still remember her caring for and tutoring them.

I have many good memories with her. Since I moved to Buffalo in 1988, I looked forward to our trips to Staten Island to see her. THe last time I saw her was in 2018. I replay or quick conversation over and over for my comfort.

She has a beautiful family and a loving daughter who cared for her in her older years. My heartfelt condolences to Uncle, Rajan, Mathy ,Amutha and their families during this difficult time. 

She lived a full, blessed life and I am grateful to the Lord for bestowing on her many riches. I know she is with Jesus resting peacefully.

I love you Anta and I know you are blessing us with your spirit. May your soul rest in peace. 

Pathma, Jegan and children
Posted by Suri Mariathasan on February 24, 2021
One of the fondest memories of aunty is the first day I was introduced to be an in-law to the Mariathasan family. From the moment my eyes met her eyes it became relevant that I had a partner in crime. Aunty & uncle welcomed me to the family with open arms and a huge heart and continued till her last breath. I was privileged to see aunty two years ago and yes we did a lot of GOSSIPING. Aunty loved it and always made me smile. We have lost a Terrific aunty my heart felt condolences and sympathy to dear Uncle Stan, Mathy, Raj & Amutha and families. Aunty’s soul will be resting in peace. Love ❤️ you aunty you touched my life!
Recent stories
Shared by Rani Anandasabapathy on February 18, 2021
Dear Stan, Rajan, Mathy and Amutha,
Our deepest Sympathies to you all and your families. We were saddened to hear of Roses death and we will surely miss her. Many memories of her flooded my thoughts and I smiled in spite of the sadness.as all memories were happy ones going back  so many years. I met her for the first time at a function for Tamils in New York area, it must have been 1976 or 1977. She came up to me and started talking joyfully and very freely introducing herself and saying that she too lived in Staten Island, where we were new comers. To show me who her husband was, she pointed out a gentleman across the hall and said, "that tall, handsome man is my husband, " We both laughed as he definitely was a tall and handsome man, but the way she introduced him so proudly with a glint in her eyes was quite amusing and endearing. Thats how our friendship started. She kept in touch caring and loving everyone in our family and others.
Being a friend not just to me and my family, but also loving  towards my mother as well, talking to her on a regular basis. The get-togethers she and Stan threw at their home during the holiday season inspite of working full time and having a family of three young children  were memorable.
We will miss her dearly. 
Rani and Indra Anandasabapathy