Ruth was an only child who grew up mostly in St. Joseph Michigan.  Her father owned a successful construction company and they lived comfortably near Lake Michigan.  When Ruth was 10 years old her father, Ben, died suddenly.  With the business going mostly to Ben's son from a previous marriage, Ruth and her mother Rosina were left to fend for themselves for the most part.  Rosina eventually remarried but not until the same year Ruth herself married her true love Robert (or Bob as most people call him).  

After Ben died, Rosina returned to Nursing to support the family and Ruth spent a lot of time alone or with friends growing up.  She still managed to do well in school though and received a small scholarship to Albion College in Michigan.   
 

Ruth was an English major at Albion.  She made some great friends there and from the looks of these pictures had a pretty good time too!  Eventually she met Bob Engelman, a big time athelete on campus, and a romance quickly developed.  Bob (who was 4 years older than Ruth) ran track, played basketball, and was one of the top golfers in the state.  How could she resist?

At the end of her sophomore year Bob, who by now had his Math degree in hand, was about to move on and decided he couldn't go without Ruth.  So he proposed.

 

Bob and Ruth were married in 1955.  They moved to Charlotte Michigan where Bob had a teaching job and worked toward his Master's degree in Teaching.  In 1956 they had their first of two children, Brett.  Bob always wanted to move back to his home town of Grand Rapids Michigan to be near his parents, so when he obtained his Masters Degree they moved to "GR" and bought a house in the suburbs (Wyoming, MI).  Dad taught Calculus and coached Cross Country at Grand Rapids Jr College, and in 1959 they had me!  Mark.  

Mom was a true "homemaker".  She was always there for us.  Practially every day we'd have a nice hot lunch.  She cleaned our rooms, made our beds, and picked up after us.  Dad's routine was school in the morning, golf in the afternoon, and then night school in the evenings.  Our lives ran smoothly because Mom was always there for us.  Boy were we spoiled!  

For some reason my brother and I didn't get along (imagine that), so mom spent a good deal of her time and energy trying to keep us from murdering each other.  Thankfully, she succedded!  Mom definitely took on the lion's share of raising us kids.

During these "formative" years Mom started to develop some skills that would stay with her throughout the rest of her life.  One was her skill as an organizer and the other was as a decorator. 

Ruth loved everyone.  All people.  And she always put other people first. 

She loved to bring people together and make new friends.  She loved to meet new people and hear their story no matter who or where.  If you stood in line next to Ruth for more than 5 minutes she'd know your story.  If she found out you needed help, she'd be there to offer her services.

One time back in Michigan we were at a Chinese Restaurant and mom struck up a converstaion with the owner who was in the process of immigrating his entire family to the states. When they finally arrived in the middle of winter, in flip flops and with no warm clothing, mom immediately went to work finding them warm clothes. The broken down house they were staying in needed several repairs including the furnace and toilets.  Mom arranged it all.  She taught them how to use the oven and the washer and dryer.  She helped the kids enroll in school and made sure they had school supplies.  They never once asked for anything.  She just did it because they needed help.  

Mom was very proud of those kids too, who all did well in school.  They even ended up calling her "mom" because she was like their second mother.  They'd always send her notes or call to let her know their latest progress and acheivements, and have kept in touch ever since.   

Ruth touched many, many lives with her love and generosity. 

Ruth began with orgainzing and decorating the usual kid stuff like birthday parties, cub scouts, pool parties, etc.  Eventually she graduated to bigger projects like block parties and banquets.  She organized our neighborhood Block-Watch back in Michigan and would do the same when she and Bob moved to Sun City permanently in 2003.  There were usually around 65-70 homes in the Willowcreek Circle Block Watch and Ruth contributed a lot of her time to the organization.  "We help know each other and there are activities every month all year. We all need friends", she said. 

She also became more involved with her church, decorating, organizing activities and events, handling publicity, or just volunteering her time.  Ruth was the chairman of several church organizations over the years including 7+ years running the prayer chain.  At times she would donate 30 or more hours a week to church activities.

No matter what the occasion Ruth always made sure that there were decorations to compliment it.  And she often made them all herself.  There were many times when the house would be overrun by her latest project, like 50 styrofoam turkeys for Thanksgiving pot luck at church, or 20 flower arrangements for the Bridge Club (Ruth loved to play Bridge and was a Life Master in Duplicate).  There was always so much to do and she tirelessly worked to make everything perfect, but she also loved every minute!

Ruth loved to decorate her home too, for every conceivable affair.  Every time you went there, the house would magically be transformed for the next occasion. And we're not talking a few little trinkets here and there. We're talking a full blown room to room cornucopia of decorations.  Every holiday, season, or event (election, Super Bowl, you name it) had it's own box (or boxes) of decorations and Ruth never missed one.  What was once Bob's tool shop was eventually overtaken by Ruth's decorations!  And for a while back in Michigan, Ruth even taught interior decorating for the local community education program.

You can be sure that wherever Ruth is right now, a decorating committee has been organized and the place is ready to go for the upcoming occasion!


 

Like all grandmothers, Ruth loved her grand children, Carter and Trent.  She loved to have them over to her house and they loved going there!  She'd make them elaborate lunches, whatever they wanted, and play games with them all day long.  Their favorite game was "Ambulance".  Ruth would make herself up with some terrible bloody injury including broken bones and head trauma, and the boys would drive the ambulance (a rolling desk chair) to pick her up and bring her to the hospital where they'd mend her bones, perform various surgeries, and make her all better.  Then someone else would take on the roll of the injury victim and they'd do it all over again, and again, and again.  

Ruth began having trouble with her memory at around the age of 75.  It was a gradual decline and in 2014 she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  She had so much responsibility at the time with her Block Watch and running the Prayer Chain at Church, among many other things.  She began having to work twice as hard to keep everything going as normal because it was more and more difficult to keep things straight and work the computer, etc.  She finally had to give everything up which was extremely difficult.  She was sad and frustrated, but Ruth never let it show.  Only now and then she would whisper to me something like: "I hope this isn't the last Birthday I remember".  Still, she loved seeing people and would always have a cheery disposition and a huge smile for them.  And when asked how she was doing the response would always be "I'm Doing Great"!  She was so brave; still concerned for others above herself.  It made us love her even more.

Ruth passed away on Feb. 11, 2017.  Her love will live on in all who knew her, and her family will forever miss her.  

In Ruth's memory, please consider a donation to the Alzheimer's charity of your choice (or you can use the link below) and help find a cure for this devastating disease.  Thank You!



http://www.alz.org/join_the_cause_donate.asp