Ms. Ruth,
Remembering you today (and always). I know you are looking down in anger at the state of our city today but always counting that your 'Ms. Ruth optimism' would also look at the events transgressing in our world today in a different light. At these crucial moments in our history, I am missing your guidance and life experience as an elder and wise spirit. I know that you have so much knowledge to guide our generation through this, so I will keep listening for your voice and follow my heart in making an impact in this world. 

On this, the 3rd anniversary of your passing, I continue to miss the comfort and joy of our time together but continue to be fueled by your love and inspiration. Not a decision, challenge, momentous occasion goes by that I don't stop to share with you and send you my gratitude for the unconditional love you showed me and the wisdom you passed on. 

I love you and miss you dearly... and today, of all, days long to sit and share, listen, and learn together.

I love you and miss you!

Ms. Ruth,
As we welcome 2020 and move forward with our lives, I want to take a moment to thank you for bringing Viry and me into your inner circle and embracing us as one of your own. Your patience and wisdom really helped guide our relationship as partners, our careers as community advocates, and my own life-decisions both as a person and a partner.

You would never accept the accolades or credit for your constant efforts, time, and support but you should know the following: Without your love and wisdom as an elder we would not have conquered the challenges placed before us so successfully. As my "unofficial" grandparent I want to reassure you that your thoughts, knowledge, and inspiration will always be carried in my heart, thoughts, and actions.

I love you and miss you!

I think of you everyday and miss you so much words can't express. Sometimes I imagine the talks we would have about life,family,and art.I always say to myself...What would Ruthie do? Then I do that.I know your flying high Goddess! With so much love, Gin....goddess in training!

Still Missing You, Ms. Ruth....

They say there is a reason
They say that time will heal
But neither time nor reason
Will change the way we feel.

For no one knows the heartache
that lies behind our smiles,
No one knows how many times
we have broken down and cried

Still missing you

We want to tell you something
so there won’t be any doubt,
You’re so wonderful to think of
but so hard to be without.

We cannot bring the old days back,
when we were all together
The family chain is broken now,
but memories live forever.

Still missing you!!!

by Damieyon Dumas

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PERTY LADY! I HOPE THE MUSIC IS GOOD THERE!

My beautiful Goddess Ruth, Happy bornday!!I miss you everyday !! We usually have our Wings tradition this month between our birthdays that Im still doing but I had to change the restaurant . It’s the Chinese food that reminds me of the tradition anyway haha!!!I hope your flying high in the sky making some art !!! You inspire and push me everyday to stay on my path ! I love you- Ginger Loriz Godines-a goddes in training !12345

For Your Birthday
Your Birthday is a day I treasure
though you’re no longer here –
It reminds me of such happy times
that in heart, I hold so dear.
Even though I feel so sad
that you have gone away –
I wouldn’t change anything
or trade one single day.
So thank you for the memories
that are with me forever –
I’ll treasure those always
’till we are back together.
(By Toni Kane)

We were together on your Birthday last year. We are together today also!! You will always be with me, Ruthie!! I love you.
I strongly feel your art should be in the next Bienalle in Venice next year.You represent us and the USA!!!! I will always love you. Thank you for being in my life!

Ruthie, I know your spirit is partying and boogieing down and laughing up a storm. Happy birthday, love, we miss you!

My dearest Ruth,
I will never forget the deepest joy you brought into my life . Our usual get togethers with dinner & lasting a good 5+ hours, was always so much fun. Having you as such a close friend made my life so rich. Sharing our stories of celebration & trauma made us so close & understanding of each other & others. You claimed I was the Phoenix of your life & you gave me your Phoenix painting, which I will always cherish. You were the Shaman in the lives if Mike & I, and we purchased your painting of that for our 25th wedding anniversary, & will always find it inspiring. I will love you forever & you will always be in my heart.

I love you and miss you my sister,goddess, and mentor!!!

When I first started working for her, I took her to pick up a prescription. We were in the waiting room and there was a crazy looking white guy, bald!!, with tacks all over him, looking like he was mad at the world. We picked up the prescription and were walking out the door when I looked back and she had gone over and was talking to him!! I thought to myself, "Oh no, here we go!"
 Naturally, I went over to see what was up and she was complimenting him on the tattoos on his bald head!!! He was smiling this beautiful smile by then that just changed his whole aura!!
 She really had a intuitive nature, she knew just the thing to do at any given time.

I met Ruth 40 years ago when she was teaching at at the museum. We enrolled our daughter Jeanine in on of Ruth's art classes. Jeanine was only 5. She turned out to be a wonderful artist, all because of Ruth's early influence. Ruth was so loving and talented and fun, and it sounds as if she never changed....

I was in her physical presence just ONCE and she made that much of an impact in my life. An Artist, A Rebel and WOMAN, She kept in touch via Facebook, encouraged ALL artistic endeavors and had a humor for my "weirdness". She is on a THRONE for real, next to Maya Angelou and Betty Carter... those Queens who believed in Art, Culture and Legacy. My heart is broken just hearing the news but I know you are smiling at me and wantin me to Create and Party in your Honor. #celebratelife #passingthebaton

This tribute is by Mona Palmer Onstead: 
I met Ruthie through her art at Terry's many years ago, and bonded immediately. Years later she appeared on my doorstep with a large painting she wanted me to have. It is over my mantle to this day.
I miss our warm and companionable tea parties after she became housebound....her unfailing humor and interest in others, and all the good times when she was healthy. Life was better for me when you were here. Mona

I first met Ruth when she ran the art education program at the Children's Shelter. However, she provided so much more than an art program. Ruth gave the kids a way to express themselves, a way to heal, a way to be creative, and a way to grow. She also influenced all the adults who work with her. All who entered Ruth's world were welcomed and accepted without question. She was a truly an authentic person who made the world a better place. She holds a special place in my heart for the wonderful person she was.
I send my thoughts and prayers to Ruth's family who I know will miss her dearly, Dianne McKenna

I am saddened to learn of Ruth's passing. To me, it goes like this: the sun comes up each day, the darkness sets at night, there is air and Ruth is creating art or teaching young artists or organizing something wonderful here in San Jose. Years go by, but Ruth is a constant force for good and for creativity. Thank you, Ruth, for all your have done and all that you have set in motion for our future. Thank you for that wonderful smile. Rest in peace.

While I know that none of us live forever, it really feels like there should have been an exception granted for your Mom. Growing up, she was the perfect representation for me of warmth and love (sorry, Mom) and I can still feel the happiness I experienced hanging out with her as I hung out with you. Damn, this really sucks and I'm sorry. She was really GOOD, and the world is worse off for her quitting it. She got out at the right time, I suppose, but it just shows how there should be a lot more people like Ruth out there. (I love the 60s Ruth pics, by the way! I wish I had known her then.) Sending you much love.

Ruthie, you are still in my heart - forever - sweetness.
You are my longest lasting friend here in San Jose, since 1978.
I will never forget your laugh: Luxurious, from the heart, the throat, and the belly. Laugh on, my darlin'. Love, and peace to your beautiful soul. Kisses, Evie

Ruthie. You mean so much to each of us, and to all of us at once. Your perception was uncanny—you saw things in others that they didn’t yet see in themselves. You were a world class storyteller, and an equally gifted listener, taking it all in, the spoken and the unspoken, with what felt like every cell of your body. You were the world’s greatest cheerleader, finding full and equal joy in the joy of others, and helping us straighten our crowns when we stumbled. To me, you will always be the reigning queen of the Shakespearean aside, hilariously getting me (and many others) through countless meetings and encounters.

We became fast friends. When we lived a few blocks from each other, we’d curl up on your couch watching The West Wing every week, wishing Jed Bartlett was really our President, and then rejoicing together when our prayers were answered, only better! For all the time we spent together teaching, working, scheming, I cherish most the time shared just the two of us—telling stories back and forth, unpacking the day, or saying nothing at all. I’m certain we all do.

You taught me not to fill my workday with meetings, to create breathing room, so that I would have time to reflect and process. You taught me the quiet subversion of finding a way to do what you know is right, because the naysayers will eventually come around. You taught me patience with people who make assumptions based on whatever prejudices life slipped into their lenses. You taught me how to navigate bureaucratic nonsense with equal parts compassion and zero tolerance. You taught me how to listen harder in the empty spaces, because therein lies the secret.

You had the clairvoyance, wisdom, and wit of someone who had seen it all and then some. You embraced us all with one hand for support, the other pointing to the stars. You were both incredibly human and superhuman. Your lessons live in my heart, my outlook, and my actions forever. How lucky we all are to have known you, and how deeply you are loved and missed.

Rest in peace, my colleague, my mentor, my friend. ❤️

Ruth-- a dear cherished friend, the embodiment of all things artistic beautiful, strong and loving. We knew each other from the City arts and in the late1980's, on a panel together at Children's Discovery Museum, we got the idea to have her run an Art Education program for the County's abused and neglected children at the old Children's Shelter. Her work with kids was amazing at all levels, and her model led to huge leadership support for including a large art studio, office and exhibition space in the new facility, and, a permanent County Art Director level position created for her. Thanks to her genius, sensitivity and knowledge thousands of children learned art, multicultural and personal skills, and healing from her and from the staff of artists who were trained and led by her. It was quite something to see. Ruth taught us all so much about strength, perseverance, creativity and the role art can play in all our lives. I warmly remember the exhibits, assemblies and strategy sessions, often including Marianne Pritchett. She will live in my heart for the rest of my days and will be forever remembered by the kids, artists, friends and our community. She was one very very special woman/artist.

All my love and warm thoughts to her dear family, Sheehan and Indira and adored grand daughter, Luxmi.
Nancy Wiener

Ruth always welcomed us with open arms whenever we had a chance to see her at one of Sheehan and Indira's get togethers. Sheehan, it was so evident that she meant the world to you and vice a versa. She was special to everyone and I'm sure she will always be with you in your heart and spirit. Our condolences.

From Dan and Shinobu

Ruthie was such a dear friend. We go way back, to 1967 in fact. Before Sheehan was born, Ruthie taught an art class at the Davis Art Center and that was the first art class I ever took. I'll never forget her. She was a wonderfully inspiring teacher and a very creative artist. Her optimistic, warm spirit came through in her art and her everyday life. She did a great job of raising Sheehan. She was so happy when Sheehan married Indira and then later when her granddaughter, Luxmi, came along. Ruthie loved being a grandmother so much. She lived a full life rich in art and the love of family and friends. Can't ask for more than that. I will miss her.

How many mother-in-laws become friends with her daughter-in-laws' friends?

I am Ruth's daughter-in-law, Indira's friend who have become friends with Ruth.

I pray for Ruth's crossing over in peace and in light.

A poem for Ruth while she is crossing over.


RUTH CROSSING OVER IN HER BLUE BOAT

Born black woman in the U.S. of W. 
darker among your siblings
You are one of those black women “holding a broom against tsunami” of hardship, and still rises up
To dream. . .
Blue Boat
Blue Sky’
Blue Walls
Blue Space with occasional fire

You knew who you were and where from and to where you goin’
in your painting of China Impression
You are crossing over in your Blue Boat to the other side of our imagination.

Ms. Ruth... I'm just writing to tell you that I miss you every day… I drove past 2nd street yesterday and cried at the thought that I couldn’t make my usual unannounced stop to say hello. Thank you for allowing me that privilege because I sure know how you disliked unannounced visits.

I hang on tight to the memories of every opportunity I had to sit with you… every chance to learn more about you… every kick in the butt to learn more about myself… I will especially treasure my memory of the last time we sat together to watch a G.S. Warriors game on June 4th.  You were so happy that our Warriors beat Lebron and it meant more than ever to be in your company that evening.... I will forever be grateful to Sheehan for making that possible. When I told you "I love you" and “Goodnight" that day… I wasn’t ready to say it forever... I really miss you, Ms. Ruth.

I miss your company, your guidance, your conversations, your tough love, and most of all - your amazing spirit. I count my blessings and fortune that you allowed Viry and me into your world at a time when we were just beginning our lives together. There is no way I can put into words the immense impact you've had on our journey from the moment you gave the ‘OK’ for us to become a part of the history of 755… Instantly we had a buddy, confidant, life-coach, grandma-figure, and everything else in between. 

I’ll keep missing you and I’ll keep sharing with you… The cliché says that ‘you are in a better place’.... truth be told... YOU LEFT US IN A BETTER PLACE! I love you… miss you..

I only met Ruth a few times, but I vividly remember her smile and infectious spirit- one of those people others are drawn to. She hosted a birthday celebration for Luxmi that Ashoke and I attended at her home and she had so many friends that confirmed this to me. It was also so clear how much she adored Luxmi. She brought out that happiness in Ruth in the way only a grandchild can.

As an unartistic person I was especially impressed by her artwork which I first came to know through Sheehan and Indira's home. I always thought it was so cool she painted one of those San Francisco hearts :). I remember an art show she hosted in Oakland a few years back where I was able to see some of her larger works first hand. I'll always be a fan.

Ruth always had a kind word to say and a positive attitude, which are rare and precious qualities in people. I feel lucky to have known such a gracious individual.

Ruth's passing broke my heart because I had hopes that she would be around to celebrate another birthday with Luxmi, enjoy a tea party with her closest women friends, and that I would have another chance to see her as Indira and I had planned... I had known her through Sheehan and Indira, and enjoyed the many celebrations hosted by Ruth in her lovely home where so many other long-time friends, friends of friends and family gathered. It was always Sunny in San Jose (probably much more than Philly), and I'd like to remember Ruth in that way, her sunny spirit that you could feel because she loved being surrounded by her folks. Now that she's gone, I feel certain that she is free and happy, unencumbered by tubes and tanks that had her tethered to a body that had grown weary of the weight of it all. She's now teaching art classes in a paradise that we've only imagined, where all souls are equal, where gender is not a consequence or a curse or a concern, where there is so much love and light for an eternity. How happy she must be! She can stay up all night and day and still not get weary :) Paradise. Be forever in paradise dear Ruth. We will soon gather in your honor and celebrate your life and the gifts you brought to it. Until then.

We knew that RUTH is Sheehan's ( our son in law ) mother. We came to know her when she first came to our home with Sheehan. She came outside in our garden, looked at the surrounding and starred to praise it. We knew that she was an artist. I immediately realized that she really was an artist. Very few people who came to our home appreciated the natural surrounding so eloquently. It was a genuine compliment. I like art and artists. Right then I started liking her. She has many other qualities but her artistic nature was most appealing to me. She was a good mother and mother-in-law and a very good grand mother all along. We were planning to go to SanJose in 4th of July. Now we cancelled that. God will bless her. Pinaki and Manju Chakrabarti. June15 2017.

Dearest Sheehan: When I think of your mom, Ruthie, I picture her teaching us how to paint, draw and sculpt in the basement of the San Jose Museum of Art. The year is 1982, and she gave us each a taste of what it was to be a real artist. ~ You are lucky to have such a warm, funny, talented and effortlessly hip mother. For me, her name is synonymous with artistry, authenticity, vibrance, joy, adventure, bold colors, texture and a little bit of healthy silliness. But with all that, your mom was also wise, piercingly so. I remember the sideways looks only she could give, looks that were laced with such wit and wry humor...like she didn't quite believe what we were saying. I love your mom. She had guts and dimension. She is one of the greats, a legend, and she will live on in our hearts and minds forever. ~The Melias will always be fans.