To the family Scott Eric Hooker, I'm so sorry for the loss of your loved one. Even though I didn't know Scott I did have a loss in my family this year as well. And I know that it's difficult to manage the feelings of that lost in the grief that comes along with it. So I set out to help my family to deal with their grief and lost and found something that I thought might also help your family. I hope this is helpful.
The Watchtower, No. 3 2016
Dealing With Your Grief
COVER SUBJECT | WHEN A LOVED ONE DIES
Dealing With Your Grief
There is no shortage of advice on this subject. Not all of it, however, is helpful. For instance, you may find that some will advise you not to cry or show your feelings in any way. Others may push you to do the opposite and expose all your feelings. The Bible presents a more balanced view, one that is supported by modern research.
In some cultures it is considered unmanly for a male to cry. But is there a real need to feel ashamed about shedding tears, even in public? Mental-health experts acknowledge that tearfulness is a normal part of grieving. And grieving may, in time, help you to move on despite the enormity of your loss. Suppressing grief, however, may do more harm than good. The Bible lends no support to the notion that it is wrong or unmanly to shed tears of grief. Think of Jesus, for example. At the death of his dear friend Lazarus, Jesus openly wept, even though he had the power to bring the dead back to life!—John 11:33-35.
Bouts of anger are often part of grieving, especially in cases of sudden, unexpected death. There are many reasons why a bereaved person may feel angry, such as when thoughtless and unfounded comments are made by a respected person. “I was only 14 years old when my father died,” explains a South African man named Mike. “At the funeral, the Anglican minister said that God needs good people and takes them early.a This angered me because we desperately needed our father. Now, 63 years later, it still hurts.”
And what about guilt? Especially in the case of unexpected death, the bereaved person may repeatedly think, ‘It might not have happened if only I had done this or that.’ Or maybe your last encounter with the deceased involved an argument. This may add to your feeling of guilt.
If you are being plagued by such feelings of guilt and anger, it is important not to bottle up these emotions. Rather, speak to a friend who will listen and reassure you that such irrational feelings are common to many bereaved ones. The Bible reminds us: “A true friend shows love at all times, and is a brother who is born for times of distress.”—Proverbs 17:17.
