ForeverMissed
Stories

A song

Shared by Steve Rouch on October 20, 2011

Shadow

you are my baby

Shadow

you are my honey

Shadow

you are my sweetie now

 

And forever

 

Listen listen listen to my story of a long time ago

Now he's gone I can't go on and I will cry if I want to

cry if I want to 

Little Kyper

Shared by Steve Rouch on October 20, 2011

Shadow was always hungry. He would sit on the back of the sofa and as I ate my Subway he would reach out with his long, long black arm (this arm could tap you on the shoulder if you were in Montana) and somehow try to swipe some tuna. He would do it in slow motion assuming that I would not notice. He was so cute. Then he would dig in the wrapper for a scap or two. I would always throw some food down so he could eat it.

He also loved yogurt. He would like the top of the container and the foil lid and push them all over the house trying to get one last lick in. I finally put a spoon of yougurt out for him so he could really go to town.

He would always want to jump on my lap to see me work on the computer and then would wander over to food I had to get a nip or two. I discovered that he would drink out of my water glass when I was not looking. I loved him so much that swapping spit with him was no big deal. I would French kiss him if his tongue was not so scatchy.

He of course ran for Tuna or Salmon at a moments notice. We loved feeding him anything he wanted. He would kind of growl and purr as he chomped down his food.

He could not stomach food well and puked a lot. Baby food....turkey with turkey gravy was a last discovery. Oh he loved that baby food. After all he was our baby! 

Do Do

Shared by Steve Rouch on October 17, 2011

i greet the dawn in a blur of tears

how will i get thru the years

without my angel

to quell my fears

and prepare me

as my death nears

each changing path

each road that veers

i see you face

in passing mirrors

as our hope

disappears 

The measure

Shared by Steve Rouch on October 17, 2011

I now measure my life

every movie I saw

how old my kid was

was trip we were on

using the life of my beloved cat shadow

my son was in 4th grade

when we got shadow

i was busy but my beautiful little buddy was always in the background

all the way

loving me patiently

and always telling me to slow down

now i think i hear his voice

i imagine him on the window sill

i have a pounding headache and tear stained cheeks

the silence without his voice

is killing me one heartbeat at a time

i do not know how I am going to live

to put one foot forward

to smile

to work

to laugh

or sing

ever again. 

I will have to

Shared by Steve Rouch on October 17, 2011

Shadow

I will have to remember you

invoke you

commune with you

meditate with you

love you

feel you

sense you

dream of you

see you

hallucinate you

invest in you

talk about you

write about you

and reach out for you 

Autumn night

Shared by Steve Rouch on October 17, 2011

i saw the moon and stars last night

and autumn spoke of your name

now that you've gone

to the golden light

nothing here will be the same

i hold a pillow to my chest

and squeeze it tight to hold you near

i know my hurt will never rest

until somehow you come back here

these empty days and silent nights

echo the shadow of your smile

i dream of you and sweet delights

and long so dearly all the while

but you are gone and I am lost

the endless days without your love

you are my treasure and now my cost

i doubt i will ever rise above

as autumn leaves dance out your name

and winters promise edges near

i know i have myself to blame

for not somehow keeping you here

i hurt inside each aching breath

the memories flood my lonely soul

it is so hard to deal with death

nothing will fill this deep dark hole

 

Life

Shared by Steve Rouch on October 17, 2011

the wind it laughs at dancing rain

it twists and turns the shimmering leaves

the branches bow to greater life

as new buds grow

and old things go 

Why?

Shared by Steve Rouch on October 17, 2011

I can not believe all the days and hours I could have been with you

and was not

I felt restless and unsatisfied

so I passed you by

and sometimes ignored your love

you were there for me with each turning page

but I was searching for lies and smoke

and now you are gone

I have lost it all

and life is now 

an aweful joke

 

Shad dow dow

Shared by Steve Rouch on October 16, 2011

The ghost of my cat will always be in this house

our spirits will merge as we long and hunger for each other

this has been sacred ground

for the true comfort we have always called home. I would almost ignore you

as I struggled thru my life

but you were always there as by ground of being

my endless support

you were the common denominator of my life

that soothed my aching soul 

when I slowed down enough to catch your buddist ways

of calm, peace and love

all the things that mean most in this world

Thank for the blessing of you

May your spirit dance with mine forever

Heaven would not be heaven without you

S. Rouch

 

You slipped into the black, unexplained night of eternity

today in the blaze of an Autumn noon

I longed for you to be glued to the window

whimpering at birds and squirrels

as they danced in the drunken Fall leaves

Oh to hold you to my chest

and have you massage my chakras with your

purring Volkswagen motor

as you growled out vowels and words

and intimate thoughts

to me....your best buddy

My arms ache for you forever

You ears cry tears

to not hear your voice

to hear the endless chatter

as we converse on every subject.

You're my greatest gift from God

and now God have unveiled your perfect precious value

to me so dearly

with the endless pang of heartache/

you disappear in a fading memory

only to twirl and prance and bat at moths

and stampede with your brother thru out this house

I have always wanted to put you and your brother

in my saddle bag and head West to the forever frontier

you with your cowboy hat and holster would be my scout

as we travel on our adventure

Now we will be in your cat dreams

we will melt into the marmade sky

and search for the promise

of always being together

till the end of time

S.Rouch

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