Thinking of you today Shane
I just finished reading all of the letters you wrote to me and I can’t stop crying I still miss you so very much
Our time together as a family was cut too short we still had so much to do
The girls have grown up so much and take after you so much in so many ways especially Lilly she is such a character very funny just like her Dad was
She makes us all laugh
You would be extremely proud of Talisha she does do well at school practically straight A student she is very sensible and very smart and pretty 
Lilly is gorgeous funny and full of beans like her Dad
Rianna is a beautiful young women too now so very proud of her she loves her job in real estate and doing so well.
we love and miss you heaps Gardiner wish you were here
love Sheree and the girls xx

Photo of Shane and his family a few years after Rianna came into Shane life and gorgeous Talisha was in our lives too. I love the photo of Shane pushing Rianna on the swing. I was there visiting you in Queensland were you lived and took the photo. Shane was pushing Rianna so high and spinning her around so fast. Shane was laughing and so was Rianna and she was screaming too, and of course she wanted more. Beautiful times.

When Shane started dating Sheree. Shane came home and said " I didn't stay the night there was a little angel asleep in the bed" Rianna. Rianna was nearly 5 years old.

So you and Sheree became an item. One day you all spent the day at my place swimming in the pool and eating. Fun nice times. When you were all leaving Sheree and Rianna walked out the door first. Shane turned to me and said "I have my family mum". We both smiled with a lovely feeling.

As time went by Shane said to me with have to include Rianna in everything as a family it is very important to Sheree. So we all did. I became a grandmother of sorts then. Spending time with Rianna and going to her school activities. And spoiling her with gifts for her birthday and Christmas. Even our family who never met Rianna at the time because we were living in Alice Springs included her in our family and sent her gifts to. 

Shane, Sheree had a memorial for you on Macleay Island and it was Rianna who wanted to kayak your ashes out into the bay. So sweet and caring. A few years later Shane, Rianna set up a Fund Raising on Facebook for the Blackdog Institute,  5% went to Talisha and Lilly education. How amazing and caring and grown up is that. Gorgeous girl.

Shane as you know Rianna lived between NT and QLD. Since we lost you Shane lots of things changed but I have still tried to be the best Step Grandmother I can for you and Rianna. We all still included Rianna in everything. Sending her gifts, postcards and letters. I paid for her to fly with her sisters to Newcastle once and she got to met the whole family and got spoilt . Rianna is a young woman now living out of home, living a great life. 

Your sisters Shane. When you saw them you would say " Gardiner " and they would say Gardiner to you. The special greeting you three had for each other. Of course hugs and kisses 
When we were living in Alice Springs your family and friends were getting married. You said to me "I want to get married on an Island, but who would come " .I said your life time friends. You said "well that would be my sisters "

Photo of me with Shane's daughters now. Talisha and Lilly. Shane you lived and died in Queensland with Sheree, Talisha and Lilly. Your girls are just beautiful and fun like you. Talisha and Lilly are still very much part of our lives. We fly them down to Newcastle a couple of times a year. We love them so much and they love us all too.

Shane you seen me as a grandmother and know I love this role. Thanks Shane for giving me this joy and for always keeping us all connected whether it was by the phone, mail or visits and holidays with each other. Your family and I are keeping that connection happening.

It is just so traumatic and sad that you are not here, for you, for all of us,  especially your little daughters. 

You use to say to me " all I want is my own family and own lounge and home ". So happy you got a little of what you wanted. You were so proud to be a father  of your girls. As soon as they were born you would get a large tattoo of your daughters name and date of birth. Yeah you liked tattoos too and had some great ones but the only names on your skin were Talisha and Lilly.

You worried about your daughters and admired your daughters.

Shane one day when I asked about Talisha you said "Talisha is amazing, she is my litte buddy". And Lilly (she was a  baby )  you said   "Lilly is my happiness "

This photo is at Christmas in Alice Springs. Before you came to Alice you were moving around up north of NSW then over to South Australia then back up north.

You came back to Newcastle unwell. You stayed with Jassie, her home in Carrington . You were admitted to hospital for a couple of months. You could not be discharged if you did not have support and a stable home. So Aunty Frances got you discharged your favourite Aunty you always said and called her that . You went home with Frances. Your other family Aunty Frances and cousins Adelaide and  Ned. Frances rang me and said  Shane went straight to the Travel agent and bought a ticket to Alice Springs, Shane is coming to you.

I was living in Alice. We had lots of great adventures and times in Alice, the desert and Uluru too.

This Christmas it turned out it was only me and you. We went camping at Ellery Big Hole for 3 days. We slept under the stars in our swags. Cooked in a open fire. We went for walks. But spent most of our time lying on our surf mats floating in the water. Or jumping off cliffs into the water. Of course you climbed to the highest level on the cliff to give your mother heart palpitations when you jumped. Christmas morning we both had a gift for each other. I decided to spoil you and bought you a pewter chain that you had pointed out once in a jewellery shop. You had the same idea and spoilt me with Element sunglasses, the best sunglasses I ever had. You said to me when we were packing up " mum this is one of the best Christmas I have ever had ". Heart palpitations again but it was love and joy. I love you dear Shane and thank you for loving me son.

When you were born your grandmother and her sister came to the hospital to meet you and you were in the nursery. I said to mum she could pick you out because you were the most beautiful baby there. Mum and my Aunty smiled at each other and was thinking I'm serious it's true .

The photo of you and me is out the front of mums at Lambton. We lived at Bar Beach. You loved the beach. You were walking at about 10 months and by one you were jumping in the water with your floaties on , kicking your legs and swimming around. So cute. By 3 you could swim. You continue to swim and became a champion at school. A champion in all sports and was Sports Captain of your school.

The beach continue to be one of your joy's and you would catch the bus to Newcastle beach with your body board. Sometimes even when you were suppose to be at school. You moved on quickly to a surfboard, starting with a second hand one. Your first job and pay you bought yourself a brand new surfboard. The smile on your face.

You were fun and adventurous, quiet , sometimes shy, a worrier, and thoughtful.  A trickter and funny. Confident in sports and art. And loved your motorbikes and music. Hard worker what ever you did. A volunteer in your community. My pride and Joy dear Shane.