So it has been a week, pretty much, since Sharon died, and I have spent much of that time thinking and dreaming about and with her. How does a relationship of only a few years leave such an indelible and undeniable imprint on a life?
Firstly, I note from Robie's comments that Sharon left us at around 4:15 p.m., further confirming what was earlier established by my brother in law, Gary Britton, as the official commencement of cocktail hour. I will continue to raise a glass at on or around 4 p.m. for those that I hold dear.
I met Sharon in the early '80's while working for Ernie Miller in Salem at Mortgage Bancorporation. We became friends and confidants, sharing much of our lives with the other, around work and over lunches at such notable establishments as the Court Street Dairy, among others, where one of the requirements of a decent meal was the presence of French's Mustard, at least to Sharon.
She remained a friend through thick and thin, contributing in a way that only she could do to the richness and complexity of life. I note many references to wit in these tributes, even to "Sharonisms", as I would also be inclined to call them, and I would like to share a few of my own.
As I think back, and as Monika said recently, there was more than one Sharon, particularly as a result of her aneurism. Thus, these "Sharonisms" can be attributed to Sharon 1, or 2, or even, perhaps, 3, given her career changes as well as health issues.
So, here goes. Sharon # 1, the person I first came to know, introduced me to proper southern belle-ism and how one should engage the gallantry of a gentleman by the proper relinquishment of one's "hanky", ie. dropping it to the ground and feigning helplessness. Sharon #2, real estate magnate, explained to me, among other things, that all a woman really needed (sorry, Robie) was a washing machine with a really good spin cycle. And Sharon #3, post aneurism, perhaps the funniest of all, offered these gems. While at a party of our friends, she was approached by a woman who asked if she was my husband, Jeff's, mother, Jeff being 5 years younger than Sharon.. Sharon's response;
" I can see we are not going to be friends!" And when Robie showed Jeff and me a photo of a much younger and undeniably beautiful bikinied Sharon, she said "Well, that ship has sailed".
Humor aside, I count Sharon as one of the seminal influences in my life, one of those friends who stays with you regardless of life's vagaries and the separations that occur as a result, forgiving and welcoming at each turn. I have been enriched immeasurably as a result of a chance encounter in the early '80s and I will be forever grateful.
She recently asked me if I was happy, wondering if she should have stepped in at a time when I was making a significant life choice. Clearly, her decision not to influence me had weighed on her. I told her that I was happy with the person that I had become but it occurred to me later that I could have done more to reassure her because she clearly had carried that concern with her for years. Truly an amazing friend!
As I read these tributes, I realize how much there was about Sharon that I didn't know, names of friends, places, events outside of my experience with her, and I am struck by that. How is it possible that someone so important to me does not know everyone and everything in my life and vice versa? She was remarkable, genuine, caring, funny, loving, smart, irreplaceable, forever in our hearts.
And then there is Robie. Sharon called me once and thanked me for "talking politics " with Robie, which basically meant arguing with him, since we didn't agree on such matters. We all know how incredibly loving and amazing Robie was with Sharon through an extraordinarily difficult situation. She could not have had or hoped for a more amazing friend and husband. Robie, you are my hero; I am grateful and so thankful that Sharon had you in her life, for all of it's richness. Know that you are both loved.