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Like yesterday

August 18, 2017

There's no pain like pain that doesn't heal. Depression sets deep, our family will always feel. Everyday I thought of you when we spoke and I wondered if you were ok after day two of not speaking. Now, I will never hear your voice. The kids will never run around playing with you again. My faith in God is stronger but my ability to maintain is no more. Not even sure why I decided to publicly speak, but it's for someone. Something. I'm still devastated. I don't wanna go on. My family. Friend. The person who loved me as I am, and always showed how amazing you thought I was. I forgot to tell you more I thought the same. Kissing your cold face brought in a reality I'm not sure I can bare. Watching one of the kids break down, your son looking confused, my mother praying to keep from dying inside as I died with you. No matter what happened I died with you. Trying to think of what I could have done to keep you here and bargaining a prayer to bring you back. Its not working. You won't wake up. No matter how good of a servant i am God won't bring you back. You'd feel just like me right now, and I love you so much that I'm glad you died first. So you wouldn't have to feel like this. Family always right? The father of my child is an understatement. You were the most beautiful Person I've ever met. I hope you and mama continue watching over us. I Promise to take care of big bro. Yesterday would be the time you call me with stories or advice. I need you like yesterday. I need prayer. I need to rewind the time.

My Sherrod is no more in the physical form. I pray that whomever reads this helps them to know good is real. So is depression. I promise I don't need recognition, I just listen when the holy spirit speaks and it said to tell my feelings. May God add a blessing to whomever needs a testimony. 

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