The anniversary of my mother's passing. Is approaching fast. I am for some unknown reason reliving the last days of your life. Feeling numb. It's hard to simply find a way to get through these days without you here. I tried to deny these feeling but yet they resurface. Underneath my anger is pain. I feel lost at sea. A sea that keeps on raging. Nothing seems .to stop it. Things are going just the way you predicted. but it is ok. I rather have you and my kids. Everyone is doing there own thing. Coping the best way they can. Yes we walk alone through this. The family forever shattered. I know you see everything. Everything that seems to be hidden.I feel your presence daily. I am so thankful for you visiting me in my dreams. I loved the dreamed when you were with my kids. I felt a sense of relief. You look wonderful. I am going to get my emotions in check. Much better things ahead to be prepared for. I don't come here to share my life with you. I come here to just keep your memory alive. Everything we needed to say was said almost a year ago. We can not bring you back. You are aware what's going on in the families. No one misses you more than the other. You had 7 children and you loved each one of us differently. You loved your grandkids so much. There was no favorites. Those of us that didn't go to college or have a fancy house you loved us too. So I will not say you loved one more than the other. I am trying to get through this life without you. I won't air family matters on this page. Or write how Mike is doing. He will be fine. With God on his side. No weapon formed against him shall prosper. Keep a watch over us . Forever my mother, on earth and in Heaven. Your eldest daughter Tracy

Happy Valentine's Day mom,

I love you so much and I know when it is my time we will be reunited!!! I hope you picked out a site for our rocking chairs ;-) As you know from above, the kids are well. Mari got outstanding grades this period, She has come into her own ;-)

I love you so much!!!

Your loving daughter,
Mecca
P.S. you are my soulmate

Hey Mommy,

We miss you... We love you. I never knew how hard this would be to write my thoughts. Mommy, I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you.
You were the love of all of our lives, I hope you know that. I went and placed balloons and hearts today. It looks so nice.

Here's an update, all the kids are doing well. Jenesis turned 2 and she is busy. Pappi loves school and he waves bye to me every morning before getting on his bus.
Rijo is doing well, trying to find his way in this crazy world. Icky is doing well at school. You would be so proud. Fire is crazy as ever but doing well. He's keeping up with his grades and honors classes.

I write Mike often. He seems to be holding up well. Dad is doing the best he can under the circumstances, he misses you terribly, AS DO I.

I'm gonna run now Mom but I will be back real soon to chat with you. I'll definitely stop by your spot to check on your balloons.

MOMMY I LOVE YOU..... MOMMY I LOVE YOU
MOMMY.............

Hi Mom,

I love you so much! You are my light!

Love,
Mecca

Hi mom,

As you stated that I only need to believe in my son. Well, Dan had his first basketball game and won. His coach told him that he is the best player on the team ;-)

Mom, I wish you were here physically but I know you are cheering for him from above.

I am so proud of him!!!

Mom, I love you so much!!!

Mecca

Liitle girl,
 My heart is aching so bad now! I really wish Heaven had a landline because we need to talk.... You are the ONLY woman I was able to confide in..You never judged me always encouraged me to become better and not let what others may think of me affect who I am... I am truly grateful for my time with you,but my life isn't the same anymore... I hope that when I have a daughter we can share the same bond you and I have!
Javaun told me the other day he misses you and that he wants to take you shopping one more time! We love you little girl and I will continue to be the BEST Mother I can be...Your love and memories are forever plastered in my heart!
            Love, Lucy

Mommy,
A new year is upon us. I must admit, I wasn't sad to see 2014 go---I wanted to put that year in my rear view mirror badly.
With a new year brings new circumstances and life changing events. I'm lost without you mommy. I don't know how to manage ---although I'm doing ok.
Grief is a debilitating process--it eats at my core, my inner strength and renders me helpless at times. When this happens, I look to you for strength, I wear ur nightgowns to bed as a battery recharger. It works mom, it really works.
Each of us is handling this as best we know how and we all stumble along the way, but we have each other .
I love you Mommy and I miss you terribly.
Kisses,
Asia

Pain filled reality
Grief is unbearable heartache and sorrow.
I have no choice. i will have to find the will to go on.
I can't think it away.
I have learned through the years a different way of living my life without my sons, my mother and a lot others whom meant a lot to me
.I am not who I use to be.
My old self have been gone a long time ago.
Happy New year for what? It's just a reminder it's another year without the special people in life
. You don't get over it, you get through it/ with perservance and endurance.
Only the strong survive. You deal with the loss on your own terms.
You do what you have to do on your own terms. Don't expect sympathy. Others are dealing with the same issues. On different levels.
I learned to stick it out, not get stuck.
Grief does not go vacations. Grief never takes a holiday.
New traditions will come.
No need to rush. Things will fall in place.
My faith has sustained me in the difficult times. I ask God to help me through it. My heart is forever broken.
In reality we all have an appointment to die. Hopefully I will be missed and loved as much as I have loved.

Little girl,
It's 2015! I am really hurt about you leaving this earth but I refuse to be selfish about it! I never imagined losing you so soon....I miss our trips shopping, I miss talking on the phone for hours everyday with you. I just simply miss everything about you...Javaun misses you so much, he will treasure all the clothes you bought him and his final birthday gifts from you..You are forever my Queen and I thank you for always being there for me and loving ME unconditionally! No matter how hard my life may seem I will remain grateful and rely on my faith in God, because life could be much worse. It took for that to happen to Jay, David,Aarin ,Mike and you for me to understand and appreciate LIFE because
tomorrow isn't guaranteed! Continue to comfort me in my dreams......

Mom, I light this candle for you to let you know that you will always be in my heart. One thing for sure if god ask me to choose a mother it would be you everytime. You are the best, you loved us so much. Yeah it's a new year, but without you it's not that great. I rather you be here with us. But God wanted you . You still continue to protect us. I feel your present. You said you would never leave us and thank you for that. I love you and you will always be the most precious to me. My grandbaby has your spirit and he looks like you. I talk about you to him every chance I get. You are forever loved and missed.

Hi mom,

I am short on words today because I miss you so much. I can't find the words to express how much I love you. You are truly the love of my life!!!

I am hanging in there but I am so lonely without you!! 

Mommy, I love you so much!!

Mecca

Hi mom,

I had a great time in Florida, but you were missing. My heart was not the same without you. Mom, I miss and love you so much. You are truly the love of my life.

Mecca

Mom, How I wish you were here. I know you would want us to be happy and enjoy this day. It's really hard without you. I miss you so much. You have a Heaven Merry Christmas. I LOVE YOU...

What can .I say
It's Christmas Day.
Though i think of you (my mother and my son's) and so many others close to my heart
I shed many tears, wishing you were here.
It's no sounds of laughter, no Christmas joy on my face.
I have so much love for you, that can't be replaced.
I look back on fond memories of Christmas celebrations in the past.
Oh God why didn't they last?
Memories are just not enough.
My life without you have been so very rough.
I know heaven is a beautiful place, for God only takes the very best.
May God love always surround you with eternal rest.
This is the saddest day of my life.
God Bless,

Mommy
Today is Christmas---the holiday which you made so special. It's very difficult for me to muster the strength to write this through my pain. I miss you so much Mommy. I never knew love like this before --I never knew missing you could hurt this badly.
As I try to create the many loving memories for my children that you have created for me, I want you to know how much I love and miss you. I'm doing the best I can watching over daddy. He misses you terribly as well.
Mom we all miss and love you. This is the most difficult Christmas I have ever had--it's the first one without you...
The kids are growing so fast and Azriel-"poppy" is doing so well in school. He has blossomed into a very charismatic young man. Jenesis is running and talking and the big boys are doing their thing.
Ick is doing well--I'm sure you know.. He misses you just as much as I do. Rijo and Mondo too. They try to hold it in but I know my children.
I love you mommy.

Asia

Mom
I love u

Hi Mom,

I uploaded one of your favorite songs "Holding Back The Years."

Mari said she misses and love you and that she thinks about you all the time.

You would be so proud of Daniel because he is doing really well in school ;-) He sleeps with me because he misses you.

Asia gave Mckenzie your fingernail polish and she wears it when she is missing you.

Mom, we all miss you so much. It is hard without you here with us but we are holding on until we see you again.

I love you mom from the bottom of my heart!!!

Mecca

Gram,
Your Last Words Linger In My Mind On A Daily Basis! "Life Goes On" That's The Last Thing You Said To Me, Well Sadly It Does But I'll Forever Miss & Love You! Nothing Will Ever Change That! You're So Lucky, Being Able To See David Again, I Can't Wait For That Day, I Miss Him Dearly!

Mom, I miss you so much!! I never fathom my life with out you. I love you with all my heart and soul and I know I will see you again!

Forever your loving daughter,
Mecca

I'm feeling sad right now. I miss you so much.

This journey without our mother won't be easy. We just experienced the first Thanksgiving without her presence. Christmas just won't be Christmas without her. We had so much joy, peace and love with her for the holidays. Memories are not enough. We miss her. God have her in his keeping. We have her in our heart.
Love and miss you Mom.
Your eldest daughter,
Tracy

You are forever missed. I love you so much.can't wait to see you again. I know you are one of God's strongest and most beautiful angel.