I took your phone to Verizon a couple days ago to have it shut off, but first needed to listen to the 13 messages in case I should get back to anyone. In the middle of the busy store with the verizon service rep. sitting shoulder to shoulder with me, half of the messages on your phone were people looking for you...first Ron, then Kathy, then the police.
That whole evening came flooding back to me. The awful anticipation of picking up the phone with the 708 area code, knowing it wasn't your number, but probably about you. What else could it be? Answering with a prolonged "hello" not wanting to hear any of the information that followed. knowing I had to. I had this terrible deja'vu as I listened to the words that seemed not real from the detective.
I have these overwhelming busy/frustrating days and then something like this (verizon) happens and I remember what I'm doing it for. I remember why and have such a huge sense of loss.
Cayle reminds me of you with his whistling. He whistles in the shower and on and off throughout the day. I know he always loved and payed attention to your whistling and would tell me when he was very young that when he grew up, he was going to whistle like "grampa stas." Of course he is also red/green colorblind, which he most likely gets from you! He's the only "kid" (now 27) who got that trait.
I had a dream we were on a beautiful golf course a couple weeks ago right before the sun started to set. I always call it "Mayfield Parish light." Its the golden light that happens at just the right time in the evening and Parrish always captured it so well. This is what the golf course looked like, and although I couldn't see the ocean, I could smell the sea like we were right next to it. Perhaps this is your heaven??
your little boney maronie,
Amy