July 7
July 7
Stephanie, you remain in our thoughts. You did so many extraordinary things with your life, and most especially, a commitment to loving people, and to creating, always!
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Stefanie Adcock, 47 years old, born on November 18, 1969, and passed away on July 6, 2017. We will remember her forever.
Tributes
Leave a tribute
July 7
July 7
To write to you…
Dear Stefanie,
I’m in Palm Springs with Keno and Simon. We toasted you with love last night. Keno’s house here reminds me of your first Van Nuys house. We had fun reminiscing about you, your houses and your tremendous talents. You are always dearly missed. I’m forever grateful for you starting me on my precious yoga path.
With much love,
Lizabeth
Dear Stefanie,
I’m in Palm Springs with Keno and Simon. We toasted you with love last night. Keno’s house here reminds me of your first Van Nuys house. We had fun reminiscing about you, your houses and your tremendous talents. You are always dearly missed. I’m forever grateful for you starting me on my precious yoga path.
With much love,
Lizabeth
July 6
July 6
God bless you Stefanie, you where one of a kind and had so much to offer the World. You'll always be in my heart.
July 6
July 6
Dear Stephanie,
So many places and moments bring back memories of you. I miss you as a colleague and a friend and will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Sending you love.
Susan
So many places and moments bring back memories of you. I miss you as a colleague and a friend and will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Sending you love.
Susan
June 2
June 2
Today I was reflecting on the wonderful colleagues I have had over the years in the Department of Theatre and Dance at SUNY Potsdam—the college is deactivating the department—and I was looking online for Stephanie’s contact information to share my gratitude with her. She taught with us during the 2006-2007 academic year. Our last email communications were in 2014. I am saddened to learn here of Stephanie’s passing. I fondly recall Stephanie’s mother and Austin and how much Stephanie cared for them. Stephanie thought deeply about the creative process, and her artmaking drilled down farther than other choreographers I have known. She made a stunning work—of a life of greater conduct—integrating her own detailed set design, props, and spoken text into a moving movement theatre piece. It has stayed with me all these years. For those of you, with Stephanie’s passing, who lost a parent, partner, relative, or close friend, I send my deepest condolences. Stephanie remains in my heart.
November 18, 2023
November 18, 2023
To Austin and Stefanie's friends and family, I remain tremendously grateful to have spent time with this extraordinary woman. Sending love, and holding Stefanie's memory brightly.
November 18, 2023
November 18, 2023
Happy Birthday, Sweet Stefanie
These days I frequently visit the Theodore Payne Foundation in Sunland to buy native plants. Whenever I'm there I feel especially close to you and spend time remembering my first visit to your home. It was such a great place and you had so many exciting plans to transform it into a home for your family. I hope that Austin is doing well these days as I am sure that he has become the wonderful young man you always knew he'd be. Love you and miss you, my friend.
These days I frequently visit the Theodore Payne Foundation in Sunland to buy native plants. Whenever I'm there I feel especially close to you and spend time remembering my first visit to your home. It was such a great place and you had so many exciting plans to transform it into a home for your family. I hope that Austin is doing well these days as I am sure that he has become the wonderful young man you always knew he'd be. Love you and miss you, my friend.
July 9, 2022
July 9, 2022
I’ve always thought of Stef as a beautiful and brilliant woman with so much to share with the World. She was such a creative force! Truthfully deep down inside I felt so inadequate, I don’t know why because she was always so humble and down to earth. God bless her.
July 9, 2022
July 9, 2022
Stef – It’s hard to believe it’s been 5 years. Wish I could hear your voice and your laugh. And the way you’d warmly and cheerfully exclaim my name “JEN!!” (that you adorably pronounced GIN!! with your Southern accent) whenever we’d greet each other in person or on the phone. I miss that. I miss you my sweet friend. Sending peace and love to you, and to all those who love and miss you. I know you’re up there watching over those you care about. Love you, Stef. Your friend, GIN :)
July 7, 2022
July 7, 2022
Thank you everyone for your support and leaving tributes here. I read them all and hold them near heart. Stefanie is looking down in love to all of you who were along for her journey. Much love to you all, i wish the best of health, and to mom i miss you lots <3 you taught me so much i learn more from you every day you aren’t here.
Love, your son ❤️
Love, your son ❤️
July 6, 2022
July 6, 2022
I can’t believe it’s been five years since we lost Stefanie. I think of her often. Every time I do yoga, which is a lot, I send thanks to Stefanie for encouraging me to practice. Yoga is a huge part of my life, and I will always be grateful to Stefanie for convincing me to try it again after a lousy first attempt. She taught in this beautiful little studio in Sherman Oaks, and I will never forget how kind and inspiring she was as she taught. And funny.
Whenever I’m working on my home, I think of Stefanie and all of the fantastic renovation and design advice she shared. She was the most creative, resourceful friend I had. She was full of love and bursting with joy over her family; Austin, Edgar, her Mother and her puppy dogs. Edgar, thank you for being the kindest, most devoted partner to Stefanie. Austin, thank you so much for bringing her so much joy and happiness. I know you both miss her dearly. I am so very grateful to have known Stefanie. She enriched the lives of anyone who had the good fortune to cross her path.
Whenever I’m working on my home, I think of Stefanie and all of the fantastic renovation and design advice she shared. She was the most creative, resourceful friend I had. She was full of love and bursting with joy over her family; Austin, Edgar, her Mother and her puppy dogs. Edgar, thank you for being the kindest, most devoted partner to Stefanie. Austin, thank you so much for bringing her so much joy and happiness. I know you both miss her dearly. I am so very grateful to have known Stefanie. She enriched the lives of anyone who had the good fortune to cross her path.
July 6, 2022
July 6, 2022
Sending love to you, Austin, as I remember how much Stefanie loved you.
November 18, 2021
November 18, 2021
Remembering you still, Stefanie. Austin, I hope you are thriving!
July 6, 2021
July 6, 2021
Austin, Stefanie would be so proud of you. As I hear of your accomplishments and your plans, I applaud you and circle you with the abundant love that Stefanie had for you. Your life, your happiness, is the continuation of Stefanie’s spirit.
February 2, 2021
February 2, 2021
Hey Mom, thinking about you again.. I miss you so much and I wish you could be here for the ride im planning. I'm 18 now and planning on joining the military, and just got my first job. I love you so much and I know you are with me every step of the way. Thank you for molding me into the man im becoming and you are always close to me wherever I go. Hope all is well where you are.
July 6, 2020
July 6, 2020
Stefanie had so much love, and gave it so fully to her family and friends. she was a treasure, never to be forgotten. I met her at UCLA when worked on her MFA and stayed in touch through to her passing. with love....
May 27, 2020
May 27, 2020
Thinking about you mom ♥️ I appreciate you more than you'd ever know for making me the person I am today. Our memories make me happy and sad but just know I love you so much and I hope you are doing well.
November 19, 2019
November 19, 2019
Stefanie I just heard you have passed away. I am sorry we hadn't stayed in touch but love you thru the years. Jenny
November 18, 2019
November 18, 2019
Love you Stef. We miss you. Hope you and Grama Joyce are having fun up there. Edgar and Austin - we would love to have you come visit.
The Ortner Family
Dana & Charles, Bobby, Lorry & Brent, and Jon
danafoxcaldwell@gmail.com
805-698-6593
The Ortner Family
Dana & Charles, Bobby, Lorry & Brent, and Jon
danafoxcaldwell@gmail.com
805-698-6593
November 18, 2019
November 18, 2019
thinking of you, Stefanie. You remain within us, forever.
November 18, 2019
November 18, 2019
Stefanie I hope you’re at peace in Heaven, you were the most emotionally generous friend I’ve ever had, you were always willing to listen to
My ideas and thoughts even if they were full of contradiction and outdated you still made me feel supported and significant. And not to mention
Of what a complete talent you were, full of new and original ideas, they just seemed to ooze out of you. The World is much less without you here.
God bless you.
My ideas and thoughts even if they were full of contradiction and outdated you still made me feel supported and significant. And not to mention
Of what a complete talent you were, full of new and original ideas, they just seemed to ooze out of you. The World is much less without you here.
God bless you.
July 6, 2019
July 6, 2019
Such goodness you brought to people around you! Remembering you, with love!
July 6, 2019
July 6, 2019
Dear Stefanie,
I hope you are in peace whenever you are and that you are watching down and protecting Austin, Edgar and all of those who loved you. I remember you with a lot of affection. Much love sweetheart.
I hope you are in peace whenever you are and that you are watching down and protecting Austin, Edgar and all of those who loved you. I remember you with a lot of affection. Much love sweetheart.
November 18, 2018
November 18, 2018
stefanie, you are gone, but not forgotten. such a light you are, such a force of goodness. I send love to you all.
July 6, 2018
July 6, 2018
Thinking about you Stefanie. A year already passed since you left. I have been missing you, my dear friend. You are in my heart, always.
July 6, 2018
July 6, 2018
I miss you, Stef. There have been so many times this past year I wish I could call and talk to you. Having a true friend in life is such a blessing. But having known such real and heartfelt friendship makes its absence all the more pronounced and painful. I love you, Stef. You are a part of me. I carry your heart in mine and I will cherish our friendship always. Wherever you are, you are making it better and brighter. Until we meet again...Your soul sister and fellow traveler - Jen
July 6, 2018
July 6, 2018
A year. A year without Stefanie. A year less bright. We hold you close!
December 7, 2017
December 7, 2017
Sending love to all who loved Stefanie. Holding her memory dear.
November 20, 2017
November 20, 2017
It's so strange I was just thinking of Stefanie this morning on my way to work, there was this Bryan Adams song that was on the radio, she and I use to joke around about this Bryan Adams vest she she wore once in a while. I hope she's at piece and full of love, I feel nothing but gratitude for being part of her life, she was such an inspiration and a force of nature! She'll always have a part of my heart.
November 18, 2017
November 18, 2017
Dear Stef - Thinking of you today, wishing I could call you and wish you a happy birthday, and tell you how much you mean to me. My heart is heavy on your birthday - I miss you so much and it hurts. But my heart is also full of gratitude, for knowing you, and loving you, and for all the beautiful memories we shared - I will cherish them always. I love you honey. Until we meet again...your soul sister and fellow traveler, in this world and the next - Jen
October 28, 2017
October 28, 2017
Dear Stefanie,
It hurts to know you are gone from us. Your courageous, bold, kind, just actions in the world, whether as an artist, a colleague, a friend, a mother, a daughter.. were deeply extraordinary. Your vibrance was communicated to all of us. Your commitment to those around you set the bar high. I will hold you with me and strive to be a better person, following your example.
It hurts to know you are gone from us. Your courageous, bold, kind, just actions in the world, whether as an artist, a colleague, a friend, a mother, a daughter.. were deeply extraordinary. Your vibrance was communicated to all of us. Your commitment to those around you set the bar high. I will hold you with me and strive to be a better person, following your example.
October 3, 2017
October 3, 2017
Rest in peace, Stefanie. Thank you
September 2, 2017
September 2, 2017
Stefanie was one of my oldest and dearest friends. I first met Stefanie at the University of Alabama. She was beautiful and bohemian, with a dancer’s grace and penetrating dark eyes. We had a couple of classes together in Alabama - Asian Art and History of Oriental Thought. Then we were roommates during an exchange program in Japan, and that’s when we became good friends. We had the good fortune to do a lot of traveling together. We spent the better part of 1997 traveling to Japan, Southeast Asia, and India. This year of traveling together was the foundation of a long and beautiful friendship. I’ve shared memories of our travels together in “Fellow Travelers” in the ‘Stories’ section of this online memorial (photos soon to follow).
They say friends are the family we choose, and Stef was family to me. There are so many things I’ll miss about her. When Stef and I would see each other, or talk on the phone, she’d exclaim happily, “Jen!!!” (but she pronounced it, “Gin,” which was extra adorable). We always laughed a lot together, and we had this habit – we’d both let out a sort of musical, synchronized sigh at the exact same time when we’d finally stop laughing. Though this synchronized sigh happened a lot, it somehow still caught us by surprise and it was always endearing and amusing – like we were in sync with each other. I’ll miss these things. Stefanie used to say we were like soldiers that had been in war together – because we had gone through such a bonding experience traveling together. Stefanie really knew me. She understood me, probably better than anyone. It’s hard to ever truly know another human being, but I felt truly known by her – and that’s a rare and precious gift she gave to me. Knowing Stefanie changed me. She broadened my horizons, literally and figuratively. Stef was unique – I’ve never known anyone else like her. She was a striking beauty, inside and out, with an effortless style and grace – and a knack for improving everything she touched. She was compassionate, devoted and selfless. Stef was one of the most intelligent people I’ve known. She was magnificently expressive, articulate, and creative - so much so that it would intimidate me sometimes, especially in the beginning of our friendship. Stef had a wicked wit, and she was a sparkling conversationalist. She could talk to anyone, and she really related and connected to people - I saw that a lot on our travels. Stef had the ability to make you feel like you were the only person in the room, the only one that mattered. She was completely present and engaged when she talked or interacted with you, and you could feel it - that’s something I always admired about her. She was eclectic in her interests. She had a deep and vast knowledge of art, science, literature, philosophy, and many other topics that she could readily expound on. She introduced me to music, books, poetry…so many things, and they’ll always remind me of her. Stefanie loved the mystery of life and digging beneath the surface of things. I remember one of Stef’s favorite quotes from back in our Japan days: “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.” - Albert Einstein. I think this favorite quote of hers also captures Stef as well – there was something deep and mysterious about her. It’s a quality she had, that not many have. It was beautiful and enigmatic and one of the things that drew me to her.
Stefanie felt deeply and loved fiercely. She had more energy and passion for life, people, interests, than anyone I’ve ever known. Stef’s spirit was larger than life - it was contagious and fun to be around. Stefanie meant the world to me. She’s been such a big part of my journey – there’s a great void now that she’s gone. I know I’ll never have another friend like her again. We shared something very special, that not many people get to experience. I miss her so much and I don’t know how to say goodbye to my dear friend who has meant so much to me.
But I can take comfort in knowing that she’s not suffering and in pain anymore. I don’t know how she managed to fight for so long. And I don’t know how she was able to do it all – taking care of her mother, raising Austin, finding love and her partner, working, her art, buying and selling and renovating homes and RVs, and so many things – even raising Chinese chickens! It would be a lot for anyone – but someone dealing with what she was dealing with – it’s just astonishing how she managed it all. Stefanie was exceptional, extraordinary – and the strongest, bravest person I’ve known. She was a fighter, a warrior, and a hero in my eyes.
My heart goes out to Edgar and Austin. She loved you two very much. You were the center of her universe and her reason to fight to live. I know how devastating this loss has been for you. I hope you will find comfort in each other and in the love and memories you share of her. My love to you both and please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Rest in peace sweet Stefanie. Though your time on this earth was much too short, I’m so grateful to have known you and to have had you in my life. I am a better person for it. I’ll never forget you, Stef. I carry your heart with me and I’ll love and miss you forever. Until we meet again… Your friend and fellow traveler - Jen
They say friends are the family we choose, and Stef was family to me. There are so many things I’ll miss about her. When Stef and I would see each other, or talk on the phone, she’d exclaim happily, “Jen!!!” (but she pronounced it, “Gin,” which was extra adorable). We always laughed a lot together, and we had this habit – we’d both let out a sort of musical, synchronized sigh at the exact same time when we’d finally stop laughing. Though this synchronized sigh happened a lot, it somehow still caught us by surprise and it was always endearing and amusing – like we were in sync with each other. I’ll miss these things. Stefanie used to say we were like soldiers that had been in war together – because we had gone through such a bonding experience traveling together. Stefanie really knew me. She understood me, probably better than anyone. It’s hard to ever truly know another human being, but I felt truly known by her – and that’s a rare and precious gift she gave to me. Knowing Stefanie changed me. She broadened my horizons, literally and figuratively. Stef was unique – I’ve never known anyone else like her. She was a striking beauty, inside and out, with an effortless style and grace – and a knack for improving everything she touched. She was compassionate, devoted and selfless. Stef was one of the most intelligent people I’ve known. She was magnificently expressive, articulate, and creative - so much so that it would intimidate me sometimes, especially in the beginning of our friendship. Stef had a wicked wit, and she was a sparkling conversationalist. She could talk to anyone, and she really related and connected to people - I saw that a lot on our travels. Stef had the ability to make you feel like you were the only person in the room, the only one that mattered. She was completely present and engaged when she talked or interacted with you, and you could feel it - that’s something I always admired about her. She was eclectic in her interests. She had a deep and vast knowledge of art, science, literature, philosophy, and many other topics that she could readily expound on. She introduced me to music, books, poetry…so many things, and they’ll always remind me of her. Stefanie loved the mystery of life and digging beneath the surface of things. I remember one of Stef’s favorite quotes from back in our Japan days: “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.” - Albert Einstein. I think this favorite quote of hers also captures Stef as well – there was something deep and mysterious about her. It’s a quality she had, that not many have. It was beautiful and enigmatic and one of the things that drew me to her.
Stefanie felt deeply and loved fiercely. She had more energy and passion for life, people, interests, than anyone I’ve ever known. Stef’s spirit was larger than life - it was contagious and fun to be around. Stefanie meant the world to me. She’s been such a big part of my journey – there’s a great void now that she’s gone. I know I’ll never have another friend like her again. We shared something very special, that not many people get to experience. I miss her so much and I don’t know how to say goodbye to my dear friend who has meant so much to me.
But I can take comfort in knowing that she’s not suffering and in pain anymore. I don’t know how she managed to fight for so long. And I don’t know how she was able to do it all – taking care of her mother, raising Austin, finding love and her partner, working, her art, buying and selling and renovating homes and RVs, and so many things – even raising Chinese chickens! It would be a lot for anyone – but someone dealing with what she was dealing with – it’s just astonishing how she managed it all. Stefanie was exceptional, extraordinary – and the strongest, bravest person I’ve known. She was a fighter, a warrior, and a hero in my eyes.
My heart goes out to Edgar and Austin. She loved you two very much. You were the center of her universe and her reason to fight to live. I know how devastating this loss has been for you. I hope you will find comfort in each other and in the love and memories you share of her. My love to you both and please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Rest in peace sweet Stefanie. Though your time on this earth was much too short, I’m so grateful to have known you and to have had you in my life. I am a better person for it. I’ll never forget you, Stef. I carry your heart with me and I’ll love and miss you forever. Until we meet again… Your friend and fellow traveler - Jen
August 26, 2017
August 26, 2017
I met Stefanie in graduate school at UCLA and she quickly grew to be someone I deeply respected. Her work was intelligent, humorous, quirky, layered with the same diversity of experience and influence she possessed, and always maintained a sense of humanity. Stefanie, herself, was all of those things as well. She was also caring to a capacity I could never quite comprehend. Where some may find the need to set limits/boundaries or walk through life with a conscious or unconscious sense of lack, Stefanie operated from a place of abundance. She always had the time, the heart, the passion, and more to give. Over the years, when we would meet for lunch at the Hari Krishna Center (as she believed the food there was truly made with love and could heal the body, mind, and spirit) or in Westwood Village during her lunch breaks or at her home where I had the privilege of seeing her absolutely glow around her family and her many projects, she would share her counsel, creativity, and limitless joyful spirit with me and my family. I vividly remember every moment with Stefanie and I am eternally grateful for having known her. My thoughts and love to Edgar and Austin.
August 20, 2017
August 20, 2017
Stefanie Adcock was truly the most extraordinary person I've had the privilege and good fortune to have met. I've thought long and hard about all the many things I could say about Stefanie. Where to start? She was a woman of many, many talents. Most preciously, she had abundant love. Love for her family, her friends, her animals and life itself. She lived life to the fullest. She embraced every day. She never did things half way. I have such admiration for her and all that she accomplished and for all of the love she showered on the people in her life. Her courage was astonishing to behold. Her strength was unsurpassed. She was truly, truly amazing.
Stefanie was good at everything! She'd invite you over for an impromptu barbecue, and, before you knew it, she'd whipped up lamb chops with rosemary and a perfect summer salad. She had incredible style and panache. She was so creative. Stefanie was always warm and welcoming. "Come! Let's sit in the backyard and drink lemonade and have tea sandwiches..." I will miss her spirit so very much.
She helped me in many ways. I will forever be grateful to Stefanie for introducing me to yoga in a way that made me want to dedicate myself to a lifelong practice.
I will miss Stefanie dearly. My belief is that she is now pain free and weightless and watching over everyone she loves...
Stefanie was good at everything! She'd invite you over for an impromptu barbecue, and, before you knew it, she'd whipped up lamb chops with rosemary and a perfect summer salad. She had incredible style and panache. She was so creative. Stefanie was always warm and welcoming. "Come! Let's sit in the backyard and drink lemonade and have tea sandwiches..." I will miss her spirit so very much.
She helped me in many ways. I will forever be grateful to Stefanie for introducing me to yoga in a way that made me want to dedicate myself to a lifelong practice.
I will miss Stefanie dearly. My belief is that she is now pain free and weightless and watching over everyone she loves...
July 13, 2017
July 13, 2017
As I stare at the screen looking for the right words to remember and celebrate Stafanie's life, I realize that I have to force myself to overcome a deep reluctance. For a while, I have stopped to think in chronological order about Stefanie. I didn't want to follow a line, a sequence of events, the succession of before and after because I knew where the road would lead. Even before she passed away, I unconsciously approached our time together as a collection of "now." The absolute e fragile now, the suspended feeling of being in the moment. I lost my mother to the same kind of monster, and I was left with knowing too much. I was afraid she would see it in my eyes.
But Stefanie was a trajectory person. She was a deep in, head first, chin up kind of person. Stefanie never shied away from big ideas, big issues, big decisions. In her work as an artist, she wanted to address the meaning of human existence. The dance between life and death. She felt everything with intensity. Her choreography was packed with emotion, symbolism, theatricality. She aimed to connect dance with theater, theater with literature, literature with life.
I remember the first time I truly saw her. I had already noticed her in one of my courses called (of course) "Sacred Art and Technology." She was beautiful and eccentric, dressing exotically and participated lively to the discussions, often staying behind to talk to our professor. I saw her again later in a two-day workshop with the renown choreographer William Forsythe. During a break, she wrapped herself in a long cloth, put on a crown, grabbed an improvised baton and, just like that, turned into a Queen. She didn't talk but moved in a way that was hilarious. With little steps and odd sudden tilts, she was half marionette and half bird-like creature, with all the affectations of a regal figurine. She stayed in character for half an hour, deadly serious, while everybody chuckled greeted and laughed. I remember the look on Forsythe's face, his mouth open with fascination and admiration. She was radiant. I thought: I have to become friend with that girl!
And so we did.
She was interested in the idea of discipline. Maybe it came from her mother's military background or from her studies of Japanese arts. For Stefanie, discipline was an art in itself. To excel in one craft, no matter how small, with precision and devotion, was in itself heroic. We didn't know it yet then, but it was her life that was going to be heroic. Even if she probably would not want me to describe her in this way, she was in my eyes the bravest warrior. A true hero, a tragic hero, in the way the ancient Greeks understood the meaning of this word. The expression of the unfavorable yet mighty resistance to the dooming gods.
She felt the loneliness of the explorer. We will never really know what it is like to walk in her shoes. What it means to be told to have few years to live when you are thirty-four years old. When you are out of work, without insurance, and on your own. When you have a small child to take care. How devastating it must have been to give up her dance practice, her professional identity. To experience the fear of never being able to fall in love again.
But it didn't go that way. She didn't die two years later. She lived. She survived. She fought her battles, one after another.
She took her family on her shoulders. She never gave up hope. She found love, and she gave love, she laughed, she cried, she forgave, she took in, she took care, she built, she created new paths, new spaces, new safe Edens.
It has now been seven days since you left this earth, Sweety. Goodbye Stefy, your vibrant spirit is free now. Free from the pain that anchored you to this precious and fragile life you appreciated so much. Fly high. Watch over Austin, Edgar and everyone you love. Thank you for being my friend in these years. You will always be with me in my heart.
But Stefanie was a trajectory person. She was a deep in, head first, chin up kind of person. Stefanie never shied away from big ideas, big issues, big decisions. In her work as an artist, she wanted to address the meaning of human existence. The dance between life and death. She felt everything with intensity. Her choreography was packed with emotion, symbolism, theatricality. She aimed to connect dance with theater, theater with literature, literature with life.
I remember the first time I truly saw her. I had already noticed her in one of my courses called (of course) "Sacred Art and Technology." She was beautiful and eccentric, dressing exotically and participated lively to the discussions, often staying behind to talk to our professor. I saw her again later in a two-day workshop with the renown choreographer William Forsythe. During a break, she wrapped herself in a long cloth, put on a crown, grabbed an improvised baton and, just like that, turned into a Queen. She didn't talk but moved in a way that was hilarious. With little steps and odd sudden tilts, she was half marionette and half bird-like creature, with all the affectations of a regal figurine. She stayed in character for half an hour, deadly serious, while everybody chuckled greeted and laughed. I remember the look on Forsythe's face, his mouth open with fascination and admiration. She was radiant. I thought: I have to become friend with that girl!
And so we did.
She was interested in the idea of discipline. Maybe it came from her mother's military background or from her studies of Japanese arts. For Stefanie, discipline was an art in itself. To excel in one craft, no matter how small, with precision and devotion, was in itself heroic. We didn't know it yet then, but it was her life that was going to be heroic. Even if she probably would not want me to describe her in this way, she was in my eyes the bravest warrior. A true hero, a tragic hero, in the way the ancient Greeks understood the meaning of this word. The expression of the unfavorable yet mighty resistance to the dooming gods.
She felt the loneliness of the explorer. We will never really know what it is like to walk in her shoes. What it means to be told to have few years to live when you are thirty-four years old. When you are out of work, without insurance, and on your own. When you have a small child to take care. How devastating it must have been to give up her dance practice, her professional identity. To experience the fear of never being able to fall in love again.
But it didn't go that way. She didn't die two years later. She lived. She survived. She fought her battles, one after another.
She took her family on her shoulders. She never gave up hope. She found love, and she gave love, she laughed, she cried, she forgave, she took in, she took care, she built, she created new paths, new spaces, new safe Edens.
It has now been seven days since you left this earth, Sweety. Goodbye Stefy, your vibrant spirit is free now. Free from the pain that anchored you to this precious and fragile life you appreciated so much. Fly high. Watch over Austin, Edgar and everyone you love. Thank you for being my friend in these years. You will always be with me in my heart.
July 13, 2017
July 13, 2017
Stefanie worked at my flower shop Lily Lodge in West Hollywood, and it was during that time we became close. When she took her position at UCLA we stayed connected mostly because I adored her, but also i wanted to make sure she was taking care of herself- My mother had breast cancer so of course she immediately took her under her wing -
I loved her for her quirks and goofiness, her elegance and southern charm and for taking life by the horns. She was the most gregarious, entertaining , hilarious, driven, ready for anything- real person to work at Lily Lodge- She left her mark. I will really miss her laugh, her wit, her sense of humor- her face and everything else.
I loved her for her quirks and goofiness, her elegance and southern charm and for taking life by the horns. She was the most gregarious, entertaining , hilarious, driven, ready for anything- real person to work at Lily Lodge- She left her mark. I will really miss her laugh, her wit, her sense of humor- her face and everything else.
July 13, 2017
July 13, 2017
Stefanie was a smart,tender, loving and incredibly creative person.
She was a magnificent dancer. I was making a video on breast cancer and we filmed her dancing and talking about her battle. We were members of that club that no one signs up for but once you were in it you shared an unbreakable bond. She was a beacon of hope.
I loved her and I will miss her. I will not forget her and her sense of life.
She was a magnificent dancer. I was making a video on breast cancer and we filmed her dancing and talking about her battle. We were members of that club that no one signs up for but once you were in it you shared an unbreakable bond. She was a beacon of hope.
I loved her and I will miss her. I will not forget her and her sense of life.
July 12, 2017
July 12, 2017
Our beloved Stef.... She was so incredibly special. My Grandmother Joyce cherished and adored your mom so very much, as did we all in this Ortner fam, and you too dearest Austin. How I loved her fierce spirit, her style, her southern charm & city smarts. She was a true inspiration -- brilliant, bold, brave, and beautiful. Every conversation with her was one filled with deep compassion, quick wit, and sage advice. She always offered the best council and cared so deeply for her family. It meant the world to me that she always made such an incredible effort to come up to Santa Barbara and out to LA to see my shows, supporting me on my own journey as an aspiring performer. I loved that we had this shared passion. We also shared an affinity for all things funky and vintage and knowing my love of costumes, Stef passed on so many great hand-me-downs to me, saving things for me until the next time she saw me. I still have all the amazing clothes and vintage pieces she gave to me over the years that I still wear and use to costume my own shows, which I will treasure forever and will always remind me of her. I cherish all the times Grandma Joyce and Bobby took me to visit her, to see her shows, and will always remember the film shoot she did at their house in Santa Ynez, which was pure magic. I loved every holiday we all spent together and I cannot begin to express how grateful I am that you guys were there at Charles and I's wedding (my Dad, Jon, took those beautiful photos of you guys that day, which melt my heart to see again now). I feel so blessed that she was my family and I hope that she knew the profound impact that she had on my life, how much I admired her, how grateful I was for her, and how special she was to me. I love you so much, sweet Stef. And Edgar and Austin, you are our Family, we love you, and are here for you always. We are so deeply sorry for your loss, cry with you, and hold you in our hearts.
July 11, 2017
July 11, 2017
I believe it was around 2003 when I first met Stefanie; I was around maybe 13 years old. She and my father dated for a few years but I don’t think she ever knew the impact she had on me during that time. With a personality like hers, how could she not leave an impression; she had such a contagious laugh that I can still imagine and was honestly the liveliest person I have ever met. She encouraged me to be creative and showed me books that I had never heard of. I still have a book she gifted me with a little inscription from her that I have held very dear to me since that time. She taught me about the strength of being a woman and how important creativity and academia was. At that age, I had a budding interest in Japanese culture, and my interest only grew after she told me about her experience studying Japanese and living in Japan. She also would tell me stories about her life at UCLA and slowly a small dream grew inside me. Even after she was no longer present in my life, I had a dream of attending UCLA and majoring in Japanese. And that is what I am doing right now with my life. I will be graduating UCLA next year and it is honestly because of her influence that I am doing what I am doing right now. I never got to tell her this. I regret so much not getting in contact with her, but I am so happy to see and learn what a wonderful life she had made for herself despite the difficulties she faced.
I would like to offer my favorite memory of her: her with a vintage scarf covering her hair and neck while driving me along the coast of California in her green Volkswagen karmann ghia. Stefanie, you were a spectacular person and I am so grateful for the years that I knew you. You will be sorely missed and never forgotten.
I would like to offer my favorite memory of her: her with a vintage scarf covering her hair and neck while driving me along the coast of California in her green Volkswagen karmann ghia. Stefanie, you were a spectacular person and I am so grateful for the years that I knew you. You will be sorely missed and never forgotten.
July 11, 2017
July 11, 2017
Dear Austin, what a beautiful and wise tribute you write. You came to our house once for our 'legendary' pancake Sundays, you were perhaps 6 or 7. I remember you as a really nice kid, very close to Stefanie, and it is clear that you are now a really nice young man, with your whole being blessed with the brilliant presence of your mom. I lost my mom 3.5 years ago and it was the worst feeling ever. I am so grateful though that she is still within me, guiding me in more ways than I can understand. I keep her photo in my wallet always, and that is something I really recommend you do too.
The first time I met Stefanie was at a very busy garden party. I noticed her immediately for the enormous charismatic presence she had, statesque and graceful. I am a shy person so would not have introduced myself, but there she was already, attentive and curious, extending a hand to introduce herself to my wife and me. For a year or so we were neighbours at UCLA, and would hang out on the balcony, where she so generously shared practical information, wild ideas and her rich life experiences, and slowly but openly told about the battle she faced daily and so bravely. I admired her strength and resilience deeply.
Dear Austin, I wish you her strength and resilience as you move on in your young life. May her flame continue to burn brightly in you, as I am sure it will, even in the hardest and darkest moments. You were truly touched by an angel. I hope that Edgar, Silvia, Mattias and Fiamma remain an integral presence in your life, and you are always welcome to come and have another pancake here. And thank you for making this tribute page. Be/do/feel well, one day at a time, for a lifetime.
Love from a stranger, but love nonetheless, Adam
The first time I met Stefanie was at a very busy garden party. I noticed her immediately for the enormous charismatic presence she had, statesque and graceful. I am a shy person so would not have introduced myself, but there she was already, attentive and curious, extending a hand to introduce herself to my wife and me. For a year or so we were neighbours at UCLA, and would hang out on the balcony, where she so generously shared practical information, wild ideas and her rich life experiences, and slowly but openly told about the battle she faced daily and so bravely. I admired her strength and resilience deeply.
Dear Austin, I wish you her strength and resilience as you move on in your young life. May her flame continue to burn brightly in you, as I am sure it will, even in the hardest and darkest moments. You were truly touched by an angel. I hope that Edgar, Silvia, Mattias and Fiamma remain an integral presence in your life, and you are always welcome to come and have another pancake here. And thank you for making this tribute page. Be/do/feel well, one day at a time, for a lifetime.
Love from a stranger, but love nonetheless, Adam
July 10, 2017
July 10, 2017
I first met Stefanie when she was six or seven years old at the same time that I went to work at Fort McPherson with her mother, Lucille B. Adcock. Stefanie was just a couple years older than my oldest son. Lucy and I became lifelong friends -- really family. My boys and I spent wonderful times visiting in their home in Anniston and St. Louis and seeing the kids grow up. Lucy extended such great hospitality to us and we all laughed and enjoyed each other.
Stefanie had beautiful dark skin, a gorgeous smile and long, dark hair. I remember when Lucy submitted a portfolio for her to model in her teens. Stef had a wonderful smile that could light up any room.
I was honored to be there when she graduated high school in Anniston, there when she choreographed her first performance in college, I remember her teaching in Japan; there when she moved Lucy to CA; saw how lovingly she took care of Lucy after dementia set in; witnessed how giving and lovingly she took over the care of Austin; when she met and (finally) married Edgar; and I even had the privilege of being there when she drew her last breath.
Stephanie Adcock was the bravest person I knew. Cancer like she had would have rendered most of us weak much sooner than it did for Stef. She was such a fighter. She willed herself to live for Austin -- her goal was to see him graduate high school. Sadly, she fell about three years short of that goal. She intended to see Austin have a real chance at a good and successful life -- and now it's up to Austin to make that goal a reality as a tribute for the aunt/mom that loved him so much. She endured so much pain and suffering in order to see him this far. Cancer of the breast that went to her lungs, then her brain. Sores in her mouth that meant days unable to eat....so much pain. But she saw Austin reach nearly 15.........
Stef was so blessed the day that she and Edgar met and became so close. They were ying and yang to one another. She was so good for him; and he so good for her. And Edgar is so good with Austin and will see her goal to fruition....to get Austin through high school. For the times that I have spent with Stef, Edgar and Austin, I know that they are a family unit, and I will do all I can to support and affirm that bond. Edgar has shown me how much he loved Stef and his devotion to her....and to Austin. I am so very glad that they found each other.
Stefanie Adcock was truly a caregiver......first for Lucy, for Russell, for Edgar and for Austin. She also loved her beloved BoBo, Cuno and Ciata. I, too, was fortunate enough to know her love and to love and respect her. Family was everything to Stef.
I also thank the dear friends who came to share Stef's final hours and who recognized her for the special person she was. I pray for comfort for Edgar and Austin, Maria, Antonio and those who were close to her -- she may not be with us now except in our hearts and memories -- but she is now with Lucy and dancing around Heaven -- and I will see her again! She is where there is no more pain; no suffering.
Stefanie had beautiful dark skin, a gorgeous smile and long, dark hair. I remember when Lucy submitted a portfolio for her to model in her teens. Stef had a wonderful smile that could light up any room.
I was honored to be there when she graduated high school in Anniston, there when she choreographed her first performance in college, I remember her teaching in Japan; there when she moved Lucy to CA; saw how lovingly she took care of Lucy after dementia set in; witnessed how giving and lovingly she took over the care of Austin; when she met and (finally) married Edgar; and I even had the privilege of being there when she drew her last breath.
Stephanie Adcock was the bravest person I knew. Cancer like she had would have rendered most of us weak much sooner than it did for Stef. She was such a fighter. She willed herself to live for Austin -- her goal was to see him graduate high school. Sadly, she fell about three years short of that goal. She intended to see Austin have a real chance at a good and successful life -- and now it's up to Austin to make that goal a reality as a tribute for the aunt/mom that loved him so much. She endured so much pain and suffering in order to see him this far. Cancer of the breast that went to her lungs, then her brain. Sores in her mouth that meant days unable to eat....so much pain. But she saw Austin reach nearly 15.........
Stef was so blessed the day that she and Edgar met and became so close. They were ying and yang to one another. She was so good for him; and he so good for her. And Edgar is so good with Austin and will see her goal to fruition....to get Austin through high school. For the times that I have spent with Stef, Edgar and Austin, I know that they are a family unit, and I will do all I can to support and affirm that bond. Edgar has shown me how much he loved Stef and his devotion to her....and to Austin. I am so very glad that they found each other.
Stefanie Adcock was truly a caregiver......first for Lucy, for Russell, for Edgar and for Austin. She also loved her beloved BoBo, Cuno and Ciata. I, too, was fortunate enough to know her love and to love and respect her. Family was everything to Stef.
I also thank the dear friends who came to share Stef's final hours and who recognized her for the special person she was. I pray for comfort for Edgar and Austin, Maria, Antonio and those who were close to her -- she may not be with us now except in our hearts and memories -- but she is now with Lucy and dancing around Heaven -- and I will see her again! She is where there is no more pain; no suffering.
July 10, 2017
July 10, 2017
"Stefanie wasn't just my spouse, she was my best friend.Stefanie and I meet in the summer 2009. We were neighbors to each other.What started off as a friendship quickly turned into something very special. I remember the first time meeting stefanie, she was a beautiful ,tall southern belle. She was very intelligent, charismatic and friendly.Since day one i knew she was a very special person. We both shared the same principles in life. Our Family, nature, and the love for animals were some of the simple things in life we enjoyed.We were fortunate enough to have shared many wonderful memories together. That will stay with me for the rest of my life. There were many things i learned from stefanie.But the most important to me, was to "live in the moment" to be present, and have no regrets in life. She was my inspiration and motivation in life. Not many people could understand me but she could. there were many things we stared together and dint get a chance to finish. I know she would wanted me to finish this things .which gives me something to look forward to.
I am a strong believer of the after life, and that we will be together again . I love you and I miss you sooo much stefanie . Edgar
I am a strong believer of the after life, and that we will be together again . I love you and I miss you sooo much stefanie . Edgar
July 10, 2017
July 10, 2017
I met Stefanie when she moved to Alexandria, Al, when we were in the 9th grade. She and I became best friends for two years, until she moved away. She was so much fun to be around. We attended concerts, listened to music, and cruised around all the time. She went to Florida on vacation with me and my family, as well
When I heard the news of her passing, I was heartbroken. Even though I have not talked to her since the MySpace days, I still hold a piece of her in my heart. I was always sad she moved away but proud of her, as well. I will forever remember you Stefanie Adcock, and sending love and prayers to her family.
Love,
Candace Johnson Driver
When I heard the news of her passing, I was heartbroken. Even though I have not talked to her since the MySpace days, I still hold a piece of her in my heart. I was always sad she moved away but proud of her, as well. I will forever remember you Stefanie Adcock, and sending love and prayers to her family.
Love,
Candace Johnson Driver
July 7, 2017
July 7, 2017
My Mom was overall the most successful, strongest, bravest, and most charismatic person in the world to me. She went through things you couldn't even imagine going through. She gave me the best advice I could ever wish for and I'm going to put my utter most effort to make sure I use it to become successful. She had a vibe like no other, she just brought such a overwhelming energy to our lives. She was always the life of the party. Even though the house will now feel empty I know that she is still here watching over us, smiling, and not suffering. My mom was the greatest thing that happened to me. I apologize for all the stress I had caused her, but I am promising to become a much better man. I miss you so much and as i sit here and cry, I will always feel a little better because you are in a better place now. Just know that we all love you and always will... Your son, Austin.
Leave a Tribute
Recent Tributes
July 7
July 7
Stephanie, you remain in our thoughts. You did so many extraordinary things with your life, and most especially, a commitment to loving people, and to creating, always!
July 7
July 7
To write to you…
Dear Stefanie,
I’m in Palm Springs with Keno and Simon. We toasted you with love last night. Keno’s house here reminds me of your first Van Nuys house. We had fun reminiscing about you, your houses and your tremendous talents. You are always dearly missed. I’m forever grateful for you starting me on my precious yoga path.
With much love,
Lizabeth
Dear Stefanie,
I’m in Palm Springs with Keno and Simon. We toasted you with love last night. Keno’s house here reminds me of your first Van Nuys house. We had fun reminiscing about you, your houses and your tremendous talents. You are always dearly missed. I’m forever grateful for you starting me on my precious yoga path.
With much love,
Lizabeth
July 6
July 6
God bless you Stefanie, you where one of a kind and had so much to offer the World. You'll always be in my heart.
Gallery
A lovely memory of a special night…
Stefanie, The Keys, 2013.
Stef and Jen, one of my favorite pics of us even though it's blurry because the train is moving, subway, Japan, 1997.
Stef and Jen, I love these pics even though they're blurry because the train is in motion, Japan, 1997.
Stef and Jen's dorm room, Japan, 1997.
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Stef and Jen's travels, Borubudur, Indonesia, 1997.
Stef and Jen's travels, Ellora & Ajanta caves, India, 1997.
Stef and Jen's travels. View from white Jeep I wrote about, Bali interior, 1997.
Recent stories
Fellow Travelers
September 2, 2017
Fellow Travelers
Stefanie was one of my oldest and dearest friends. We had the good fortune to do a lot of traveling together. We spent the better part of 1997 traveling to Japan, Southeast Asia, and India. This year of traveling together was the foundation of a long and beautiful friendship, and I’d like to share some of my favorite memories of traveling days with Stef (photos soon to follow).
I first met Stefanie at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. She was beautiful and bohemian, with a dancer’s grace and penetrating dark eyes. We had a couple of classes together in Alabama - Asian Art and History of Oriental Thought. Then we were roommates during an exchange program in Japan, and that’s when we became good friends. Stef was the best roommate, and we had a lot of fun rooming together. She was one of the coolest people I’d ever met, with a gift for also making things warm and fun. Together we created a great space out of our tiny dorm room. Friends would stop by our room in the evenings and we’d make a pot of tea and chat the night away - lounging on tatami mats, twinkle lights hung on the walls giving the room an ambient yellow glow. I look back on this time fondly - the world seemed open and full of possibility.
While students in Japan, Stef and I also worked in a Karaoke club together. We used the money we made working in the Karaoke club to save up for our next big trip – backpacking through Southeast Asia and India. We finished our semester in Japan and then commenced our backpacking adventure. We started in Bali, making our way through Indonesia, Malaysia, India, and Thailand. We covered many miles – traveling by automobile, train, plane, bus, boat, jeep, rickshaw, even camel. We had lots of adventures, and met many beautiful people along the way. So many wonderful memories...
Stepping off the plane in Bali I remember the entire island smelled like cloves…I remember Stefanie taking dance classes in Bali - I can still see her practicing those distinct angular Balinese eye movements and hand gestures…Stef and I taking drum classes in Bali, and me getting in a scooter accident and being very late to our drum class…A special memory of us renting a white jeep in Bali - driving all around the island interior, listening to bootleg U2 and Cowboy Junkies cassettes we got from a street vendor - stopping in the middle of an empty road, struck by the immense beauty all around us - the terraced rice fields - lush and emerald green - surrounded by mountains at sunset…women working in the fields with their children – waving to us…The hidden gem, inland artist area of Bali, called Ubud, and all its charms – “cottage industry” arts and crafts that Stef loved (I remember not knowing what that term meant at the time, but Stef enlightened me on this and other things)… the mischievous monkeys at the Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary, and how they tried to hold our belongings hostage in exchange for bananas…seeing the Mahabharata (ancient Indian epic poem) performed at an open-air-amphitheater at Ubud Palace…The island of Java…and visiting the mountain of a thousand Buddha statues and pathway to enlightenment - Borubodur…Going to an all-night performance of Wayang Kulit (shadow puppet theater) and how captivated Stefanie was with it…Hammock naps on a secluded beach after snorkeling the emerald green waters off the coast of Malaysia. I remember being scared to snorkel the deep waters (I was afraid of sharks), but Stefanie kept encouraging me. Pushing past my fear, I was rewarded and delighted to discover how much life was beneath the waves – I remember sea turtles and a school of giant Bump-head Parrot fish swimming past me, and how grateful I was that Stef had pushed me out of my comfort zone (she did that very well). We had taken a boat to get there – a remote island getaway – no electricity and only a few cabanas. In the evenings, we’d all get together - singing, playing guitar and grilling freshly caught fish on the beach…this place was special to us too. And then, India - beloved India. We serendipitously met the most delightful family in Pondicherry. There was a Vedic astrologer in Pondicherry that I’d wanted to visit. We finally found his place but alas no one was there. Since we’d traveled so far, we decided to wait for him to return. The family next door took notice of us and generously invited us into their home for a cool drink and a cool place to wait for him. I remember them inviting us back to their home for dinner and how we dined with them like we were one of the family. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, we enjoyed homemade Thali-Indian dinner that we ate with our hands off of banana leaf plates. Their son, Ashok, showed us all around Pondicherry, and attentively cared for Stefanie when she got sick from the side effects of malaria medication (he was a medical student). Pondicherry held a special place in our hearts. I remember years later, when the movie Life of Pi came out (2012, set in Pondicherry) - how excited Stefanie was for me to see it – and how much it reminded us of our time there. After Pondicherry, making our way northwest, I remember the monumental rock cut caves of Ellora and Ajanta...and the bittersweet, white marble teardrop-shaped memorial to love - the Taj Mahal…And then I remember our camel safari in the Thar Desert in Rajasthan. The too-late realization of how excruciatingly painful camel-riding for days in the desert would be, was made up for by a boundless desert landscape by day, and indescribably beautiful star gazing from the sand dunes at night - with stars and constellations so bright and close you think you can reach out and touch them. After the camel safari, we went to New Delhi to catch our flights to Bangkok. Bangkok was bittersweet because that’s where we finally decided to conclude our travels. We spent a week or so in Bangkok and then flew home. Stef had decided to continue living in Japan after our trip, so she flew back to Japan, and I flew back to the US. Saying goodbye was hard. I remember tear-filled goodbyes at the end our trip… me waving from the back of a taxi to Stef, who was waving to me with tears in her eyes…We had spent almost an entire year traveling together. You really get to know a person when you’re with them day in and day out for that long, and we became very close. The traveling we did together was a once in a lifetime experience, and I’m so grateful to Stef because it was mostly her idea and she included me.
After our big trip, we saw each other as often as we could - as often as time and circumstance permitted. We saw each other in Alabama, then I went to see her in LA while she was a graduate student at UCLA. Stef also came to visit me while I was living in Atlanta, and it was during one of those trips that I got to meet Austin for the first time. I was delighted to spend Thanksgiving 2006 with Stef, her mom, and Austin, while Stef was teaching at SUNY Potsdam. In 2009, Stef and I decided it was high time we did some more traveling together, and we had fun figuring out where we’d go. I remember having the globe out and spinning it as we pondered our next adventure – we decided on Europe. We went to the Netherlands, Belgium, France, and Germany, kicking off our trip with a concert – U2 in Amsterdam! I’m really happy we were able to spend this time together. In 2013 Stef came to see me after I moved to Florida. We made a road trip to the Keys, all the way down to Key West, and I’m so grateful we were able to have one last traveling adventure together. I’m also very grateful to have been able to make a trip to LA this past April to see Stef, and Austin again, and to finally get to meet Edgar.
Broadway Elementary School
July 12, 2017
by Susan Jain
Stefanie helped our office, the UCLA Confucius Institute, bring bilingual education opportunties to Los Angeles. In addition to language education, we were all passionate about allowing children to engage w/ world culture through the arts. She helped bring a wonderful day of presentations by master artists from China to the students of Broadway Elementary School in Venice. She loved it and jumped right in encouraging the students and facility engagement w/ the artists. Her creative self shone.