Life Goes On and So Does Laundry
It was a typical early Sunday afternoon up until Marcel received a call from a close friend with sad news... He informed Marcel one of our friends, Stephan, who was in South Africa visiting his sick mother, suddenly passed away during a jog.
When Marcel broke the news to me, I couldn't believe it! He had to repeat his name so many times until it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. Each time he said his name my breath escaped me, my stomach in knots and my eyes swelled with tears and the disbelief faded.
"Steph?... "
"Yes."
" Stephan?.. Our Steph? " As I repeat his name still in disbelief and in a frozen state. I thought he was mistaken, heard him incorrectly or this was a joke. But clearly as I looked at my husband's face, this was not the case.
"Stephan Els" he tells me using his last name this time.
How is this so?! Steph is one of the strongest, athletic, adventurous men I know. Any land, air, or water activity that had "extreme" in it, he did it.
I remember one of his visits he decided to go snowboarding at our local mountain resort. Unprepared and his friends unable to lend him snow gear that would fit his Goliath legs, this man went snowboarding with nothing but a sweater, jeans and a long winter trench coat. Unfortunately, he had to cut his fun short due to a hard fall. He still managed to come back dry as a bone, even with a wipe out! I would've been drenched.
As our sad Sunday went on, Marcel looked at me as I folded a mountain high of laundry and said, "life truly does go on and so does laundry".
I've had many conversations with Marcel about our dads passing, only 3 months apart from each other, and how it felt like the entire universe should stop and mourn along with us. It was almost insulting that life went on and is going on when we were in so much pain. This feeling is true for me again with the loss of Stephan. Life went on... we watched our girls play with friends, laundry got folded and we watched as Danny Willett win the Masters on the same golf course that just a few years ago Marcel and I walked together with Stephan and his wife Jocelyn. Ironically, I posted photos of that event the day before his passing.
Steph was admired by all. He was smart, artistic, adventurous, well traveled, a story teller, and probably next to me had the biggest sweet tooth. He made me and my two older kids feel welcomed when we were first introduced to Marcel's ginormous South African friends... Ok we're Asian, so everyone was ginormous to us but really, he was a big guy! He was one of the few people that took the time to get to know you. He was probably the only person that actually "took the time"... Not with a text but with a phone call. Not on any social media but an actual visit. He took the time to be present with whomever he was with and truly enjoyed the moment. Above all, Stephan was a loving and caring husband and father.
I will forever cherish our last visit this past December. I will miss planning for our families to be together for Thanksgiving this year. I will miss our conversations, hearing him say my name in that deep friendly voice. I will miss him teasing me or I teasing him and his "bromance" with Marcel. I will miss him dearly.
I have been blessed with his constant friendship, having him as Hannah's godfather and will be forever grateful for bringing his family into our lives.
Rest in peace Stephan. When they lay you to rest Friday, life will go on as sad as it is, except there will be no laundry done. Only a braai, as you did every Friday in celebration of the weekend, and a good bottle of wine in your honor to celebrate you and your amazing life.