On behalf of my parents, Aloke and Shampa I would like to add a few words about Tapan as we knew him.
He was a man of few words, as all of you are aware, but a man with the biggest heart and compassion that I knew. He was always observant but expressionless, and had the uncanny sixth sense to know and give before you even ask for it. He always acted on his beliefs, always stood up vociferously for what he believed was right.
Despite having left India in the late 60’s, he was always deeply rooted in his culture, be it his taste in music, movies, literature or food, while being open to the new experiences of his travels. He was the oldest son of the family and took that commitment to family unflinchingly.
Jethu, I never once saw you hesitate in lending a helping hand to anyone in need, your only condition being complete discretion. I never saw you be neglectful of anyone’s needs, starting from your parents, your siblings, your relatives and even the house helps. You had no qualms about working on household chores shoulder-to-shoulder with all of us. Your ability of blending in a crowd of your colleagues, or our relatives, my friends and their families or all the domestic helps at home, has always fascinated me. Your humility and simplicity resonates with everyone who has ever met you, and they all remember and love you for it. Your mere presence in our lives instilled a sense of security, comfort and relief that you would know what to do when we did not.
To me personally, Jethu was my guiding light and biggest cheerleader. His “I have no doubt you can do it” was like the biggest boost of self belief I could get. Be it when I was handling my grandparents’ healthcare, or the designs of extending his home in Dewitt, interviewing and finding the right contractor, or booking my first flight, or even cooking Bengali food for the first time, while he stood behind me in the kitchen. The only thing he was disappointed about was my inability to keep his plants in his home alive when he would take his trips. He solved it by having only perennial plants!
Let me end with a story that I have been remembering for the last few days.
The 4 year old I, got into an argument with a fellow classmate, about occupying a coveted seat on the school bus which dropped us home. I have always been the tallest in my class and she was a bit vertically challenged. To even out the odds, she threatened to bring her school- prefect older sister if I did not accede. I, being the only child in the whole family, no older sibling to offer, confidently retorted that I too would be bringing my Jethu, and she better know he was 6 feet and 4 inches tall!
My Jethu, knowingly or unknowingly was always my savior, my hero!
You will always be remembered and always be missed!