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To Our Dear Family and Friends,

 Tedra, our beloved wife, mother, grandmother and friend passed away at age 65 in her sleep in the early morning hours of June 13, 2012. Her husband Bo and her daughters, Amy and Samantha were present. While deeply, deeply saddened to lose her, we also feel a great sense of relief for Tedra finally being free from the body that caused her so much pain and suffering over her lifetime due to various illnesses and complications caused by a genetic blood clotting disorder, recently linked to a Methylenetetrahydrofolate (MTHFR) Reductase C667T gene mutation, which she, in her “jail talk,” affectionately referred to as the “Motherf _ _ _er Gene!”  

 Only the space of the vast cosmos can hold the enormity of her life and the multitude of lives that she touched with her generous and fierce grace. The impact of her life will continue to unfold for each of us in our own special way. Per her wishes she will be cremated and no specific memorial service or funeral will be held. As is fitting for the woman who traveled to every continent on the planet, lived in numerous places and developed and nourished an amazing worldwide network of friends, her memorial will be multi-locational. This means that in honor of her, we ask you to pause in your own way to reflect on who she is to you and how that will continue to live on within you and your life. Each of these paused moments, these individual memorials taking place around the globe, will be a network of light and love reaching out and reflecting back to her just how much of an impact she had and how much she is still and forever deeply, deeply loved.

 Tedra requested that if you feel you would like to make a contribution toward the memory of her life then please consider making a charitable donation in her name to either Pathways Hospice in Ft. Collins, Colorado or to the Larimer Humane Society in Ft. Collins, CO. (The address information and direct email donation links are at the end of this letter).

Tedra loved animals and rescued many from Humane Societies over the course of her life. In her final days she was the recipient of hospice care from Pathways, which was fitting for her because of her history with the organization. She co-founded hospice organizations in South Dakota and Wyoming and was a volunteer with various hospice groups for nearly 40 years and was passionate about working closely with the sick and dying because she understood the kind of terror and pain it brought to one’s life. Her most salient times were when she could provide the space of love and support to people in this way and this culminated in her recent three month volunteer mission to South Africa in the spring of 2010. Her work there with children dying of HIV/AIDS and people suffering from tuberculosis and other terminal or life threatening illnesses was, for her, one of the greatest experiences of her life. And that’s saying something considering her illustrious career as a mother, spouse, friend, and as a professional in the field of criminal justice.

 After earning her B.A. in psychology and pre-medicine she forged her way through a traditionally “male” dominated career and surprised many (and even herself) with her intelligence, compassion and successful progression which started with working as a parole officer before moving up to director positions such as, Director of Youth and Family Services for juvenile delinquents and Director of Educational Services and Job Development at a half-way house for recently released adult prisoners. As one former boss recently reminisced, Tedra is “sassy, sharp, educated, diligent and competent,” qualities which enabled her to pursue graduate studies in criminal justice and eventually moved her on to the executive positions of Warden of a 2,000 co-ed inmate jail and statewide Chief of Probation Services, as well as a Criminal Justice Consultant and Trainer for national organizations which she continued to do until recently.

 Beyond the public sector, Tedra also had a wide range of experiences in the private sector such as working for Wells Fargo Bank, being a Licensed Insurance Broker for Texas and Wyoming, being owner of a property management firm, as well as having a private counseling practice specializing in crisis therapy & post-traumatic stress and hypnotherapy. Of course it didn’t stop there, she also got her pilot’s license and flew her first solo plane in 1977, she raced sports cars which gave her the opportunity to meet Paul Newman, she was a member of MENSA, and she had a life-long interest in aliens and was a member of MUFON (Mutual UFO Network) doing research and investigation.

 Needless to say her life was anything but ordinary and anyone that knew her knew that she didn’t take life for granted and her motto of “Do It Now!” led her to continually push the boundaries of convention and face fear directly by always taking the risk to be alive and live a full life. She did this and taught us all (sometimes with a big kick in the ass) to do it too. And in facing every difficulty, malady, or challenge she often repeated the words of her father, “this too shall pass.”

 Who else but Tedra would get in her car, just days ahead of the moving truck, and leave the mid-west for the east coast with no job, no house, no specific destination because she wanted to be near the ocean and have a change? Who else but Tedra would commute at least 4 hours (one way) a day from Connecticut to New Jersey for a job because she was dedicated to her professional career and didn’t want to make her younger daughter move again in the middle of the school year? Who else but Tedra kept the U.S. Postal Service in business with her phenomenal ability to keep in contact with every person she ever met by sending love gifts and cards for every occasion and birthday, or postcards from every place she traveled? Who else but Tedra, who didn’t “believe in linear time,” would have nearly 50 clocks ticking and chiming away in her house? Who else but Tedra zapped out every electronic device she came into contact with? Who else but Tedra could take down a room with her beauty and class while carrying so much physical pain and illness? Who else but Tedra would rip out her IVs, leave the hospital against medical advice and come home and mow the lawn? Who else but Tedra would flash her badge or use her professional contacts to monitor or screen her daughters’ friends and boyfriends? Who else but Tedra collected hundreds of canes long before she ever needed to use one to maintain her balance? Who else but Tedra kept the spirits and bellies of whole neighborhoods of people fed with soup or graciously hosted 30+ person sit-down dinners (with food enough for 60) sending every guest home with doggie bags and gifts? You’d best be careful entering her house and showing a like for or interest in something because you’d end up taking it home with you.

 There is no way to truly capture her—to capture the essence that is Tedra. She is a force that moves you to find places in yourself that you never knew you had—places of love, of rage and anger, or hidden secrets, and untold truths. She is there at the ready to shine a mirror to help us see more clearly (this is why she filled her house with mirrors!). She is a dreamer, seeker, truth teller and she fought to be a full human being every moment of her life.

 In closing we’d like to share a quote that was sent to Tedra and Bo by the minister that married them because she felt it so clearly reflected the human being that is Tedra:


To Be a Full Human Being

By Morris West

 It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price…One has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.

 Source: The Shoes of the Fisherman


 Dearest Tedra, we will miss you terribly and we love you more than the magnitude of earthquakes and the tidal pull of the moon.

 Thank you all for being a part of her dynamic, generous, wild, crazy-loving life.

 With much sadness, love and gratitude,


 Bo, Amy & Samantha


Memorial Information:


Here are optional ways to honor Tedra if you so choose.


Charitable Donations


  Pathways Hospice, Community Care for Northern Colorado

            Memorial Donations

            305 Carpenter Road

            Ft. Collins, CO 80525

            Phone: 970-663-3500 


 Larimer Humane Society

5137 S. College Ave.

Ft. Collins, CO 80525

Phone: 970-530-2947


 Please write “Tedra L. Plane” in the memo line of your check or on a separate piece of paper if mailing in your donation. If you make a donation online, please include her name in the space provided.





March 23, 2015
March 23, 2015
My little mommy girl,
It doesn't feel like your 2nd birthday and going on 3 years since you've been gone. Your absence is still a pervasive presence in my life. So many things remind me of you. I miss you each day and love you muchly. Love, Amy
June 14, 2014
June 14, 2014
Time has gone by so fast. I also cannot believe it has been two years. I still think of you every day and take inspiration from your "just do it" attitude to life. I know you're still there when I talk to you - I know you're still listening. I'll miss you always.
June 13, 2014
June 13, 2014
Hard to believe it has been 2 years since you passed...I still miss you like it was yesterday.
March 24, 2014
March 24, 2014
we were coming back from somewhere. maybe just poking along the coast. anyway it was our last stop before heading back. we walked on the small bit of sand and onto the breakwater, it was late afternoon the bright day dimming. we decided to check out the menu at the Madison Inn there. maybe get a little something to take the cold off. the restaurant was up stairs and even though it was late autumn she wanted to sit out on the veranda. so we did. I went down got more coats from the car and we sat there in the Adirondack kinda lounge chairs, coats tucked around us like blankets, watching the Atlantic do amazing things with the sky and saying small things I cannot not now remember. We ordered lobster bisque. I had never had lobster bisque before. She tasted hers and said whoa this is the best lobster bisque in the world. And it was.

I had always thought I get one more chance to meet Tedra have a proper chat about the grail, the UFO, hypnosis and the black cross and seven roses on a filed of emerald green. The day I learnt of her passing I played China Cat Sunflower/I know you rider from the Grateful Dead Europe 72 album over and over. I don’t think she was a fan but the song for some reason reminded me to her quite strongly on the day. the joy ,the sense of humour, the sorrow, intense and ever moving forward.

I am grateful to have known her. I am grateful to her family for letting me know about her death and about her life. by checking this page I have learned a little more about Tedra. and the more I learned the more I realised what an honour it was to have known her.

many years ago I went with her to "tour" this prison in new jersey. it was a pretty disastrous place. I think the state was being fined thousands of dollars per day due to the conditions there. she was being offered a position which would put her, more or less in charge of fixing it. it was fairly grim. on the way out we stopped on the front steps. I asked her something like why would you want to deal with this? There was portico with a bit of grubby glass to hardly let some light in. A bird had gotten a little confused began trashing about in it and eventually, as we walked on, flew out. see that. she said, a white dove. that’s why.

Grateful Dead I Know You Rider Lyrics
Songwriters: KAUKONEN, JORMA
I know you, rider, gonna miss me when Im gone;
I know you, rider, gonna miss me when Im gone;
Gonna miss your baby, from rolling in your arms.
Laid down last night, lord, I could not take my rest;
Laid down last night, lord, I could not take my rest;
My mind was wandering like the wild geese in the west.
The sun will shine in my back door someday.
The sun will shine in my back door someday.
March winds will blow all my troubles away.
I wish I was a headlight, on a north bound train;
I wish I was a headlight, on a north bound train;
Id shine my light through cool colorado rain.
I know you, rider, gonna miss me when Im gone;
I know you, rider, gonna miss me when Im gone;
Gonna miss your baby, from rolling in your arms.

Lyrics By: Robert Hunter
Music By: Jerry Garcia
Look for a while at the China Cat Sunflower
proud-walking jingle in the midnight sun
Copper-dome bodhi drip a silver kimono
like a crazy-quilt star gown
through a dream night wind
(note 1)
China cat
China cat
China cat
China cat
Krazy Kat peeking through a lace bandana
like a one-eyed Cheshire
like a diamond-eyed jack
A leaf of all colors plays
a golden string fiddle
to a double-e waterfall over my back
Comic book colors on a violin river
crying Leonardo words
from out a silk trombone
I rang a silent bell
beneath a shower of pearls
in the eagle winged palace
of the queen Chinee
March 22, 2014
March 22, 2014
Happy old birthday mom. Thank you for giving me this morning:

March 22, 2014

This morning I woke before the sun
as you would do
stumbled around in the dark trying not to wake the house
you would have turned on every light
emptied the dishwasher with the sound
of dishes and silverware knocking against our sleep
or started a pot of soup
cutting meat and vegetables into aromas to wake us up
so the beauty of your morning could become ours

Perhaps that is why this morning
I started a poem:
“Today I will live
in the deliciousness of memory”
and could write no other lines
because the memories had not come
but then

I heard the sound of your voice in my body
the powerful undertow it had
to pull me toward a palpable vastness
to level people before they were made
as if its surety is what kept you in your body all those years
I smelled a Village Inn morning
red vinyl booths and maple syrup
a stack of pancakes and waitresses who greeted you by name
as if the surety of breakfast kept me safe all those years

As I sat before the early morning sky trying to reach you
I grew tired and had to lie down
in the dull disappointment that these gestures
of trying to reach you
on your second birthday of being gone
were not going to fill the void
were not going to bring me the touch
of your hand holding mine or my head against your breathing chest

For these are the things I miss most
our moments of direct contact, flesh to flesh, body to body
For these are the tomes of mother
pages of life written into being
grown from the ink of a mother’s physical body

When the body is gone
there is only a faint trace of memory
invisible attempts to capture your voice
with my pen, failing to give words
to the way it sheltered you and protected me

There is only the tattered remnants of your pink blankie
wrapped around my neck
the same object you held
to reach your mother’s departed body

My disappointment found its way
into the opaqueness of the morning
I thought for sure since I was up for the sunrise
your thing—even though I was tired
that I would get one of those Colorado rises
the ones you awoke to and tried to share with us
in words that could not convey the color
the mystic boldness that glittered across
the waters of Horseshoe Lake
and into your eyes

But no, this rise of mine had no grandeur
I stayed with it, stayed with the longing to have you beside me
I got my journal and my pen
and settled into one patch of lightness

I wrote:
“the sun rise is muted, opaque with watery sediment causing a dull white hue.
there is one soft spot of orange and purple light—a tiny slit of sky pierced with opening—like the little scar on my belly where my gallbladder used to be.”

When I lifted my eye from the page
the small slit had become the rising sun
a delicate bulb of light held by the shadow of the murky morning
my heart rose with it, light and buoyant with sediment

and this I realize is
what it is
to live with the truth
of your life
and death
March 22, 2014
March 22, 2014
The Anniversary of your birth is today. I am sure you are listening. When I wind my clock and listen to it chime I think of you. Love you and miss you. Your little sister.
January 9, 2014
January 9, 2014
I miss your being here in person but you are ever present in my life through memories of your scents and sense, your generousness of time and reminders of your travels that take me around the world with you."
June 9, 2013
June 9, 2013
It's almost a year since you passed and very few days go by that I don't think of you.
Thank you for coming into my life! You were, and are, my teacher, my friend. I was blessed to have you in my life. I will always miss you.
Till we meet again, I love you!
March 22, 2013
March 22, 2013
Happy Birthday Tedra! Thinking of you on this day especially and missing you!
March 22, 2013
March 22, 2013
My dear mommy-girl...
Today is your re-birth day and I am secure in knowing you are joyous and well and finally at peace. Yet I grieve. Not for you, but for the absence of you. I feel your absence so very much on this, your 66th birthday. I feel your love and I want to thank you for our dreamtime. -your little Amy-girl
March 22, 2013
March 22, 2013
Happy Birthday Tedra. You are a part of my life that I will cherish forever. I think and dream of you often. Love always from your little sister Jovalle
March 22, 2013
March 22, 2013
Tedra, I understand that today is your 66th birthday. Although I wrote a small tribute earlier, I want to check in today to send you love and light (and to receive some from you). You touched me very deeply when you were on this side. I look forward to our reunion! JUDITH
December 3, 2012
December 3, 2012
Dear Tedra, it has taken me these five months to get used to you being gone from this earthly plane(no pun intended) I knew you such a short time, yet received so many kindnesses from you--everything from soup to UFO books! I'm reading one of those books now and very much feeling that you are visiting me by means of your underlines and marginal comments. Thank you so much.  Love, JUDITH
August 5, 2012
August 5, 2012
I am so sorry that I never had the opportunity to meet Tedra. I did, however, have a good sense of who she was and what she meant to so many, many others through Bo's stories and the beautiful memorial created for her here. She was a vibrant, beautiful and deeply caring individual who left this existence her gifts of love, compassion and an urgency to succeed. You are missed, Tedra.
July 13, 2012
July 13, 2012
"Grieving is the price of Love" a wise person once observed. There must be many grieving, because so many loved Tedra, including me. She bestowed many kindness on me, as well as countless others. She will not be forgotten.
July 12, 2012
July 12, 2012
Tedra spent many hours with us at Breede River Hospice in South Africa and we became close friends over time. She did so much to help us especially with fundraising. On Mandela Day 18 July we are feeding underprivileged children in our district as part of the national do something for someone campaign. This is in honour of our dear friend Tedra. We miss you much.
July 9, 2012
July 9, 2012
I knew the first time I met Tedra that she was an incredible and exceptional lady. I feel blessed to have known her and been a small part of her last months. I am still in awe of the way she carried herself and treated others in the face of such adversity and pain. I have also never eaten so much delicious soup!! It is true that she will be forever missed and loved.
July 8, 2012
July 8, 2012
Tedra was a wonderful person. We loved being with her and Bo on Tannery Hill.
She was such an accomplished person, and witty and decent and sincere. We can't believe all the things she did in her short lifetime, which marks her as a very modest person indeed.
She will be sorely missed by all. Michael and Jean
July 7, 2012
July 7, 2012
Tedra, I remember you as a caring person. Sharing your life with others and spending your time giving to the world! What a wonderful legacy you left behind. Thank you for sharing your life with us, South Africans and specifically the people of Robertson in the Western Cape Province.
July 7, 2012
July 7, 2012
Dear Tedra,
You have been such an inspiration for us. Will always love you.
Val and Ivana

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Recent Tributes
March 23, 2015
March 23, 2015
My little mommy girl,
It doesn't feel like your 2nd birthday and going on 3 years since you've been gone. Your absence is still a pervasive presence in my life. So many things remind me of you. I miss you each day and love you muchly. Love, Amy
June 14, 2014
June 14, 2014
Time has gone by so fast. I also cannot believe it has been two years. I still think of you every day and take inspiration from your "just do it" attitude to life. I know you're still there when I talk to you - I know you're still listening. I'll miss you always.
June 13, 2014
June 13, 2014
Hard to believe it has been 2 years since you passed...I still miss you like it was yesterday.
Recent stories

just a box of rain my dear

March 22 

Look out of any window
Any morning, any evening, any day
Maybe the sun is shining
Birds are winging or rain is falling from a heavy sky
What do you want me to do
To do for you to see you through?
For this is all a dream we dreamed
One afternoon long ago
Walk out of any doorway
Feel your way, feel your way like the day before
Maybe you'll find direction
Around some corner where it's been waiting to meet you
What do you want me to do
To watch for you while you're sleeping?
Then please don't be surprised
When you find me dreaming too
Look into any eyes you find by you
You can see clear through to another day
Maybe it's been seen before through other eyes
On other days while going home
What do you want me to do
To do for you to see you through?
It's all a dream we dreamed
One afternoon long ago
Walk into splintered sunlight
Inch your way through dead dreams to another land
Maybe you're tired and broken
Your tongue is twisted with words half spoken
And thoughts unclear
What do you want me to do
To do for you to see you through?
A box of rain will ease the pain
And love will see you through
Just a box of rain, wind and water
Believe it if you need it
If you don't, just pass it on
Sun and shower, wind and rain
In and out the window
Like a moth before a flame
And it's just a box of rain
I don't know who put it there
Believe it if you need it
Or leave it if you dare
And it's just a box of rain
Or a ribbon for your hair
Such a long, long time to be gone
And a short time to be there
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Robert Hunter / Philip Lesh
Box of Rain lyrics © Ice Nine Publishing Co. Inc., Ice Nine Publishing Co Inc.

A Poem for Mom

March 22, 2023
I woke up this morning, on what would be my mom's 76th birthday, wanting to honor her. I recently heard writer, philosopher, and cultural and spiritual activist, Stephen Jenkinson, say "It's in our hands to make meaning of someone else's life when they die." 

Today, I awoke with the question: How can I make meaning of Tedra's life? And what can that look like beyond me and my story of who she is/was and the way she impacted me, because she meant a lot of things to a lot of different people. 

Today, I wanted to tell or share a story that attempted to do that, to keep her memory and the meaning of her life alive. I pulled up this poem I wrote for her in 2010 after she returned from her 3 month trip to South Africa as a volunteer. 

I want to edit it, refine it, make it better now. I want to expand the story now to something that gives more context, more detail, but that will have to wait for another day. In the meantime, I want to share it here in honor of her and the meaning she still has for me and so many many other people...

Big Momma "T"

Big Momma "T"
head woman of your clan
this is the name
given to you
out of respect for your years
your wisdom
your presence in Africa 

You said there is a saying
in South Africa
for wise or psychic people
meaning “born with fore knowledge”
or “born prepared”
You do not know it
or remember its articulation in the round sound
iXosa clicks or the lingual movement of Afrikaans
But it is what you remember
it is what you re-membered of yourself
coming home
to Afraica
coming home
from Rondebusch in the later morning
with packets of powdered soup
when you fell down and scraped your face
on the cobblestone and rough brick
when you walked over 2 miles (there and back)
—this from the woman who rents a wheel chair at the zoo
and carries a cane with a built in seat
this now from the woman on safari
where animals run free
stripped of your possessions
at least for a moment
you fell back upon your wild
unencumbered self
and heard the heart beat of Africa rip
your heart open again
to the cough of TB
cardboard walls and the ramshackle hovels of District 6
children in nappies only changed once a day
soggy with the reality of HIV and no parents
shoved in the back of trucks because there are too many
for the white visitors to see
in the remembering it is you
teaching them their colors
something about healing
singing “row row row your boat” to calm them
because so little
means so much
you rocking the baby, the little baby boy
with no name
and no kin
fed on boiled water
from a plastic tube
the one whose little heart stopped in your arms
his life slapped back into him for just a couple more days 
you helping the lady, the one who stroked  
the line between sound and silence
knowledge and the expressions of the body
life and death
in the same way you are accustomed to
only her leakage was your containment
your courage to take another step forward on gravel and broken glass
after giving up your shoes and walking the long road  
barefoot, smiling at your tender footedness
because in Africa smiles are the biggest form of currency
you now understanding your wealth
how you unknowingly were prepared for this   
the way you, before you ever laid your hand
on the soft and weathered skin of Africa,
stopped that night on the road in Loveland
to retrieve a plastic bag flap-flap-flapping in the frozen night wind
because somewhere in you, you already knew
that a discarded plastic bag has value
could perhaps become a window for the rainy season
yet on this day, this plastic window of yours was a pigeon
a lowly pigeon
pummeled to the ground in the thrashing snow
and there you held it
its heart pulsing
the warmth of its fear and presence
in your hands
the gravity of its life
streaming its way nearer to your heart
just as the people of Africa  
remembered in you a special, mystical beauty
black iridescence
soaring into a strange and indescribable lightness
living in those eyes
those dark and vibrant eyes reflecting 
the muscle of seeing
the power of feeling 
all the little children
their arms and faces reaching for your golden hair
shouting “Abb-a-loon, Abb-a-loon”
and the drunken men glazed 
trying to feel you up for a drink
until your flock of 20 somethings swooped in to run interference
dance him away with laughter
and a half-full bottle of beer

Big Afrikan Momma "T"
You now understand that illness and tiredness look different
below the equator
You now know that home is found in the lamb’s meat
spiced just right with no need for refrigeration
You now know that home is there in your room
blazing in the heat of a 105 degree fever
and family skype portals 
the place where you had to burn out the old stuff of yourself

Your home is to acknowledge what a feat this is for you
to give away your yellow rain slicker
give donated food packages
find fleshy places on people
to give painful and thick injections into
wrap the dying in donated blankets
to tend to the wounds of severe diabetics
to become a global citizen and to come back home again
full of a new language
that only unaccustomed muscles can hold
only to wonder
how you will live now
when you use a paper towel
or put your hands on a drum  

Do not think you will ever forget
this tearing of your heart
for it is the bleeding that is forever
leading you home
to the celebration of your soul
the rhythms that run through your body
the song of your heart which knows
the sacred tone of genuine love
offered to everything 
that enslaves us

So do not be afraid
to return
to come home wherever you are
for you are the Momma
the Wise Big African Momma
who came prepared
to turn herself inside out
in order to know the true meaning
of reconciliation

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