We Brown kids grew up without an intimate knowledge of death. We had a small extended family and our grandparents and great-grandparents often lived into their 90s. But we have had a crash course in the last few years. We lost our mother Dee on this day in 2020, our father Bill in 2021, and this year our sister Laura. Now it’s just Tony and me holding down the fort and remembering our loved ones. Keep on shining, Dee!

As a long-time AA member, Dee enjoys the privilege of having two birthdays. My Mom would be 90 today. Dee's favorite constellation, Pleiades is bright in the sky tonight. We miss you!

Today is the second anniversary of Dee's death, yet she still seems alive to me. Perhaps the more alive you are when you are living, the more alive you are when you pass to the other side. The recent Jan. 6 hearings reminded me of when I used to walk home for lunch from high school to watch the Watergate hearings with her. We would talk and eat her delicious sandwiches made from her freshly baked bread. What a joy to be around. Love you, Mom!

Always tough around the birthdays. It helped that I dreamed about her this week. We were sitting in a large circle folding chairs outside with other people, chatting. Always a comfort to be around Dee. Love you, Mom

I was recently helping to get things ready for Dee's Celebration of Life at York Street , an AA Club, and second home to the woman I had met there some 15 years earlier. It was about an hour before everything was supposed to begin. The flowers were delivered but not positioned. The caterer was in route, but situating the food was not complete. The invites had been sent and the tributes lined up. The quests were on their way. The rooms still needed to be set up and readings facilitated to welcome those that loved MS Dee. What was about to unfold was a perfect example of the wisdom of one of the programs familiar sayings "You can Plan , But you can't plan outcomes!"
A little background:
I had been sober for 25 years and had not gotten sober in AA so I often felt like an outsider at many of the meetings. Long story short, Dee was one of the few people I listened to in meetings that carried a message of recovery that I didn't feel judged from and that spoke to my heart and embodied the spiritual principals I was already living from. With her background in therapy she carried an optimistic and open approach to getting sober and really working on the things that worked and letting go of the things that didn't.
I asked her to be my Sponsor and that resulted in many years of learning, laughter and friendship. She used to say we were co-sponsoring each other because we shared almost the same years of sobriety. For me, she was a soft place to fall and always there with her hands open and stretched across the table to just be there for me. Knowing someone believes in you can help anyone heal , I believe.
Unfortunately, the the morning of the Memorial, I had been tending to the Tree (a Weeping Cherry, one of her favorite) we were planting in the garden at York Street in her honor, and was not watching where i was going. Too much in my head probably, a familiar characteristic for this old girl, which resulted in a very bad fall.
They had to rush me to the hospital where I discovered I had broken my femur and needed a hip replacement. I had heard Dee in my head all day reminding me to slow down and all was well as it was. Listening internally for me can sometimes be a challenge but once again she was right on. I was mad at myself and embarrassed and had not wanted to let her family down who had joined us in Denver for the service.
Even amongst all the chaos that followed I heard her telling me to be easy on myself and S T O P beating myself up. As I delegated my duties to some beautiful young women who stepped up to take over I realized how much my program was working. I could go take care of me and not be in control of anything and God would take care of it all.
About 6 years ago I went back to school and got my Doctorate in Spiritual Science and for my Treatise I chose to focus my studies on "Trusting God with Everything". This was a familiar theme in Dee and my conversations.

Dee's legacy to so many of us was her faith and ability to Lighten Up and yet stay committed and devoted to the work of learning how to love ourselves no matter what life gives us. Attitude is key, and Action is required. Energy follows thought....... So I might want to notice what I was focusing on......

My legacy to her is to play that forward and be of service as I live from the spiritual principals of, Acceptance, Willingness, Openness, Forgiveness, Trusting, Kindness, Compassion, Honesty, Gratitude and most of all Loving.
I will do my best which is all she ever suggested and be easy on myself when the challenges unfold.
The key is to get back up after a fall and open to what is NEXT... (my favorite four letter word).
With loving gratitude, Robbie Burt

I remember one Thanksgiving AA potluck when I was new. I was standing around with a coke in my hand feeling very awkward without my usual drinks. Dee was the speaker. I don't remember what she said but I really liked it. Years later I called her when I was having a bad day at work. She said ask God for help and then sit back and relax. I thought she was brilliant. Then years later i read it in the Big Book. One more memory is when I was having a hard time with my mother. In AA they sat to go to someone who has had the same problem.  Dee had talked about her relatiinship with her mother so I asked to talk to her. She invited me over to her house and we sat and talked. I wrote a 4th step on my mom after getting great insight from Dee. One last thing. One time after she moved to assisted living iI got an email asking if someone could give her a ride to our Sat. morning meeting. I picked her up several times and drove her home. We talked about my problems. And my dog. And she'd talk about Molly. I loved talking to her. At the meeting she'd sit right in front of me in the first row. I'd get her coffee. Afterward I'd have to remind her that I was giving her a ride home before she'd get away from me. It was nice because my mom had died a few years before. 

Oh, my beloved Dee. I will love you forever. See you on the other side.