Dear Tom, We’re remembering you this week-especially around the time of your birthday! I smile when I recall that the senior SMC administrators called you “young Tom.” That’s because you were so young to be the newly hired Business Manager! You excelled, of course!

Belated happy earthly birthday to you, Tom. Still missing you. Anna& Tom

Thinking of Tom, Renata and the family,
RIP,

Here's to you Tom!
I think of you often and always with gratitude for everything you did for my dear husband, Richard, and me. I think of it this way-today we are remembering someone unforgettable. That's you! Forever missed, dear Tom.

Forever remembered in prayers and often in conversations with my dear friend Renate. 

Tom! I thought of you in late Feb when our pear trees were in full bloom. They are my daily reminders of you!
Special birthday prayers for the repose of your soul have been said. Love and miss you. Anna

Dear Tom, Happy Birthday week. Your dear son, Alex, is working with his team to help many of us with our annual taxes. Your business ethic and professionalism are reflected in all that Alex does! I know I speak for all of us who miss your presence on Pico Boulevard in Santa Monica. Love you.

This month we are remembering someone unforgettable.
So many of us miss you and honor the life you lived, Tom. 
Thank you for all you did for each of us. There are so many precious memories.

Here's to you, Tom! Cheers. 

To one of the kindest souls I have ever met. Thank you for patience and wisdom. You were such a great story teller. May you continue to shine your light bright .

Good morning, Tom. You are missed and especially remembered today. Prayers for your eternal rest are offered up.

Hard to believe that it's been two years since Tom has passed. He was such a sweet and wonderful soul. We will continue to closely hold his fond memory in our hearts.

Happy Birthday Tom, in wherever wonderful place you may be! I was just thinking of you and Renate today with much, much fondness and will be ever grateful having known you xxxxx Debora

Happy Birthday, Tommy Donner. You are forever missed and admired by so many of us. I love reading the many tributes posted by your friends, colleagues, and clients! I also respect and honor the way your dear family members have courageously carried on your professional services-thank you Renate, Alex, and Alastair.  XO

Thinking of you Tom on the occasion of your Birthday! Remembering fondly our many conversations and meals. RIP
Thinking also of you Renata and wishing you and your son the very best.

Hard to believe that it's been over a year since Tom's passing. While the ever capable Alex is on the job, I will always miss Tom's wry sense of humor and tireless efforts to pull my financial chaos out of the weeds. He was a true gentleman and it was an honor to know him.

Happy belated heavenly birthday to Tom. You are missed as much today as when you first “graduated.”
XOXO

Belated birthday memories in honor of our departed and still missed friend. Love-Anna & Tom

Even after a year, It's impossible to write a proper tribute to Tom Donner.
Let me share a couple of more personal comments that reflect my fondness and admiration for him. My husband Richard always referred to Tom, as "Young Tom" because of Tom's young age when he was hired at SMC as the Business Manager; later in life he always referred to Tom as Tommy Donner,
expressing their true friendship and shared experiences. Finally, Tom Donner could keep a secret. We shared a professional one that I suspect will remain forever a "secret." Much love to Renate, Alex, Amanda and Emilia.

We are still in shock thinking about Tom's passing. He was truly a bright light in this dimly lit world.

Tom, you continue to be in our hearts and prayers. Thank you always for all you freely gave and shared with your family and friends. The desert flowers in PD are smiling in remembrance of you today. Anna & Tom

I have just belatedly learned about Tom. I’m so sorry to hear this.
Knowing him was a great gift in my life - his kindness, his humor, his intelligence, his knowledge and his engagement with the world made coming to get my taxes done something I always looked forward to doing.
Not something everyone going to their tax lawyer says!

I send my best wishes to Renate and to Alex. You are a wonderful family and I hope for much happiness ahead for you and your family.

With gratitude and with great sympathy,

Tom Donner was a man who did not suffer fools lightly, yet would hire them if they were servile enough and just competent enough to suit his purposes. His general ledger was a masterpiece of fiscal obfuscation. We banged heads many times at Santa Monica College. He was an enormously entertaining adversary. 

At one BOT Meeting he was walking the audience through the Byzantine machinations of the College's finances. The narrative was so arcane and technical to any layperson as to have an overwhelmingly sedative effect. Tom Donner had an extremely pleasant voice. Having put everyone to sleep comfortably, he dozed off himself for a few moments. It was one of the greatest moments in SMC history. It's easy to put an audience to sleep, but putting yourself to sleep while doing it is a talent shared by few.

I didn't know he came from Jamaica, Queens. I grew up close by there. We could have bonded over that had we known. I leave the more hagiographic comments to others. I think Tom would have appreciated some balance here...or at least some comic relief.

    

Written by Gether Gibson Sr.:

Tom and I met in the early 1990’s! One of the first things he taught me was patience and thinking things through before acting!
Tom was pivotal in the course of my life; helping guide me and taking a keen interest in my betterment! Tom’s friendship became my pillar of strength. He would do the research if he didn’t have an immediate answer to my questions and concerns! Tom, we miss you!

For Renate, Alex, Amanda, Emilia and Marianne...
Tom Donner was a prince. A smart, warm, generous, handsome, and very talented man. For several years he and dear Renate were my landlords and accountants and, very most of all, my good friends. I will always treasure Tom's sweetness most of all. I'm so very very sorry for your loss of him and have thought these words seem appropriate: "When you are sorrowful, look into your heart and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has brought you delight." Rest In Peace sweet Tom...

Renate, Alex, Amanda, and Grandbaby Emilia

We all lost a good man recently when Tom passed. Smart, honest, wise, dedicated, while at the same time being soft, humble, and gentle. That's how I remember Tom.  He did many wonderful things (behind the scenes) for many people that were in need. 

Tom and I had the opportunity to work on a few real estate transactions for Santa Monica College. He treated me with respect and kindness in our interactions.

Tom, you were a true treasure and the world is a little less special without you in it. Vaya con Dios, Tom. I'll see you down the road.

Renate and family,

Not a week goes by that we don’t think of you and your family. We are so sorry for your loss. Tom had the unusual gift of being able to radiate joy, and so we cannot imagine how difficult it must be for all of you. 

Your whole family was so good to us in so many ways. Lifesavers actually. Your hard work and kindness helped us through many a difficult time. But the happy times are also worth remembering. This photo is from Nancy’s 95th Birthday party which Renate helped put on for her. It was the most wonderful present a friend could want. Celebrating with the people who cherish you. This is one of Nancy’s most memorable events. She has always held all of you in such high esteem, but moreso, treasured the gift of your friendship. 

With deepest sympathy,
Nancy Cattell and family

On behalf of Karen Refkin:

Dear Renate, Alex, Amanda and Emilia,
I was so sad to hear of Tom’s death. To say he was a gentleman and a scholar only touches the surface of who he was.
He was also a kind and generous man who was always giving of self. If someone had a problem, he was there to help with his sage advice. I feel blessed to have known such a fine person and my heart goes out to all of you for your immeasurable loss.

With deepest sympathy,
Karen Refkin

Tom was a prince of a gentleman. We felt so comfortable with his advice and were so glad that we knew him. How sad that he left us so soon.
Love to you Renata and Alex and family.
Emily and Jerry Mayer

I was so saddened to hear the news of Tom’s passing.
There is no other couple as loved by everyone at Cactus Jacks Restaurant. Tom & Renate didn’t care who you were or where you fell on the social ladder..they were friendly and kind to all.
Tom had such a quiet wisdom about him. He seemed soft spoken and when he had something to say it was always something important that you wouldn’t want to miss.
One of my favorite things to witness was his love for his beautiful bride, Renate. It showed in his eyes and countenance and was wonderful to behold. Along with that His deep love for Alex, Amanda, and the darling Amelia.
What a treasure it was to know Tom. He will truly be missed.

Posted on behalf of Larry Wheaton:
The tragedy of Tom’s passing deepens as the reality sinks in, for the world we share is made less by his no longer sharing it with us. My most sincere condolences are for his family and all his many friends. He left an abyss when he passed away. As a brother-in-law Tom was always one who accepted the decisions others made in the course of their lives. He never impressed me as one to impose his values or his personal opinion on anybody. He accepted people for the way they treated others, and I liked that about Tom. He had a keen sense of humor, and was never reluctant to find humor in himself. He was the kind of man who always encouraged a person to follow their dreams and become all they chose to be. He was the kind of person you would enjoy having as a neighbor, whether you lived in the city or in the country. He dearly loved his family. God bless the tears of those who grieve for him. He was really one of the good guys. I truly miss Tom being part of this world.

I've always admired Tom. His silence could often say more than people who spoke volumes. In a world sometimes encumbered by injustice he was a model of fairness to all. The world is a lesser place without him.

I was shocked to hear about Tom's passing, as I have been a client of Renate and Tom for quite a long time. Tax time was never stressful because of them. He was always available for other questions and issues.
Tom was always relaxed and mellow. I always admired Tom's family life with Renate and Alex. I will miss Tom a lot, he was a special person for sure!
May peace be with you Renate and Alex....

TOM,

We will always think of you in summer
 You're a summer kind of man
The sunshine that you bring with you
 No one else ever could or can

Your smiles and warmth enfold
 All who know and love you dear
And value spending time with you
 Enjoying laughs and cheer

You like lighting candles
 For all to find their way
A candle now is lit for you
 On this very special day

Much love to Renate, Alex, Amanda and Emilia Rose

From Vicki and George Foy

Sweet Renata, dear Alex & family,
We are heartbroken to hear of Tom's passing. I don't ever remember a time when Tom didn't greet me with the biggest smile and the kindest heart...we will remember him always as being a part of our water polo family. We send you our love & biggest hugs,
Gail Goldberg & family

Renate, Alex, Amanda,
Mere words can not provide a fitting tribute to this extraordinary gentleman. He was brilliant, yet not pedantic, he was unfailingly wise, warm, and welcoming. He was a thoughtful friend and confidant. He really carried a bright, inner light that he generously shared with those who had the pleasure to know him. The world is a little bit darker because of his passing.
Sending our love,
Bruce and Mary

Dear Renate and Alex,

I cannot express how sad I am to find out that Tom is no longer with us.

When I started working at KCRW Foundation in 2008, Tom was such a gentleman by offering his generous time to educate me on the ins-and-outs of Santa Monica College, as well as on the relationship between SMC and KCRW Foundation. His contributions to both the college and the foundation will continue to have a positive impact on the community for years to come. He made my life better as a mentor and friend.

I am glad that he was able to meet his granddaughter and spent many months with her. He will be missed.

My deepest condolences to all of those who hold a special place for him in their hearts.

Dear Renate, Alex, and Amanda, words cannot express my sadness upon learning of dear Tom's passing. He remained the epitome of a devoted husband, father, father-in-law and grandfather. I can only imagine the painful loss you must all be feeling.

Someone famous once said that we all owe a debt of gratitude to those among us who have taken on great responsibility for the public good. Certainly Tom was such a person-and I personally thank him for the decades he devoted to SMC, its students, and its role in the community.

My husband, Richard, and Tom shared many of those years at SMC. I believe Tom was hired in 1975 and was at the time an up and coming financial administrator at another community college. He was swept away by SMC at the age of 28 and Richard forever referred to him as "young Tom." They remained lifelong friends-always having in common a set of "confidential" stories about their early SMC years that only they shared.

In my own professional life at SMC Tom was a central figure. As I go back in my mind I can recall numerous specific instances in which Tom played an important role. When Richard and I departed SMC in 1994 for work in Nevada, the SMC Counseling Department held a little get-together in my honor. I recall looking at the gathered group of colleagues-and noticed Tom quietly standing among them to offer his appreciation. That was Tom's way-he was always the calm, thoughtful presence with the valuable advice.

It is in times like these that we take a moment to look back at those who stood out among our friends and colleagues. Clearly Tom Donner is one of those memorable figures who will never be forgotten and always be greatly missed.

I met Tom through his wife Renate. My interactions with him very always warm and friendly. I knew him well enough to miss him and I do.

Be Like Doctor Tom!

Kind without trying! Compassionate without the saffron robe! Possessed of all the calm in Carradine's figure from Kung Fu, but without having to pretend! A highly educated bastion of knowledge, but his native intelligence is what you craved! A natural born teacher who needed no classroom! A bodhisattva who traded nirvana for the sake of the world! A connoisseur of personalities who left behind a beautiful family and many friends! "Be like Dr Tom!" I say to myself. But his brand of genius was likely more born than made. To know him was to love him, and the love he spread without any effort at all is the love I'll carry forward...

60 years

Tom and I met when we were about 13 years old. We were immediate best friends. I was fortunate enough to have two other best friends. The four of us remained close for the rest of our lives.
Tom was like a big brother to me, he always looked out for me. I remember Tom as being a prince of a boy and later as a man. He was honest and had good direction from an early age. These qualities would serve him well in later life. Tom had a paper route when he was in high school, he delivered papers about 50 miles daily on this route. His delivery vehicle was a Vespa motor scooter, he used this scooter because unlike a motorcycle , it was open between the seat and handlebars, this Tom contended was necessary to avoid farm tractors emerging from the orange groves “you could bail out easier.” Tom made about $500.00 a month while the hourly wage was about $1.25 per hour at any other job a high schooler could find. We would use this scooter to go to the beach. I can remember straddling the scooter at fifty miles an hour numerous times, as the rear wheel had a tendency to detach itself.
Through the years we would have many adventures. The four of us would go to Lake Tahoe, Laughlin, Cabo San Lucas, Las Vegas and a friend’s ranch in Desconso as well as Palm Springs. We skied , golfed and just enjoyed each other’s company. One of my favorite stories is the time we caravanned up the coast in our Jaguars. We both had 1965 E Type Jaguars ragtops . Tom met me in San Luis Obispo and we drove like race car drivers along highway 1, we drove as far as San Francisco and then headed south. We eventually arrived in Bishop during Mule Days. The town was full of cowboys. Tom’s car was not running well so he had the hood up looking at the cause of the problem. About that time a flat bed truck slowly cruised by. “Having trouble with the fancy car”? The ten cowboys asked, & without missing a second, Tom yelled out from under the hood “#######”. The truck stopped and started backing up, Tom slammed the hood down and we were off setting more land speed records. I believe to this day that it was Willy Sink‘s influence that caused this brush with a certain bruising.
I can think of many more fond remembrances , but simply stated, I will miss my friend Tommy Donter. Rip Tom!!

Throughout life, there are few great friends. Friends that listen; that are not judgmental; that laugh and cry with you; that add to your life experience and that are never forgotten.
Tom was my great friend,

Having know Renate and Tom for over 20 years, there isn't enough words that can encompass all the great things Tom stood for. Tom was a wonderful storyteller who's wisdom, intelligence, and humility touch my life and will always hold a special place in my heart. A great man who brought out the best in people. You will be missed.

where would I be if Tom and Renate had not entered my life?

I don't know if they knew the security I felt knowing they kept their door open for me. 

dear Tom, I will cherish your guidance and thank you everyday.

Renate, Alex, Amanda, I send you hugs and condolences.

Tom was and extraordinary human being here on earth, but I am sure he is also shining where he is now. We shared many things in common, from our love for the country to our love for education. I had the privilege of knowing Tom for 20 years. He had a big heart full of love and compassion for everyone, an analytical brain ready with an answer to a problem, kind encouraging words for the rough times in life and a warm smile to boost your self-confidence.
Tom was certainly a successful man, but not because he was the best at what he did, but because of the amount of lives he touched. Alex’s caption on this page was spot on. Tom was the best dad to him, and he was also the best mentor and guide to many. We will always remember you, until we meet again. Gio

Being asked to commemorate who Tom was in life is a tall order--particularly after reading the entries from those who were fortunate to have known Tom longer than my husband, Tom, and I did. We met Tom through his fabulous wife and my dear friend, Renate, soon after they married. And....then along came Alex--another great change and addition to the Tom/Renate team. It was evident that Tom loved being a parent, a father. What an outstanding role model he became, too. Having had a son of our own soon after Alex was born gave us many opportunities, visits and phone calls that only enriched our mutual parenting paths. 
We will so miss our long, detailed, into-the-late-hour conversations with Tom about ANY topic. No area was off limits. He was the most patient and compassionate listener I have known- never did he make anyone feel that their thoughts/opinions did not have merit. Dinners with Tom and Renate at some of their PD favorites will be dearly missed. Tom, YOU are dearly missed...our prayers are always with you, Tom, Anna & John G.

Dear Renate,
We were shocked and saddened on Tom’s passing.  Tom was one of the nicest people we've ever known.  He was an amazing mentor to everyone, but most of all, a great friend.  He’ll be missed dearly.  I still remembered fondly the day we all took Alex to SMC to launch the model rocket into the sky as Alex looked up at it with the biggest smile, and now Tom is looking down with a smile to make sure you all live life to the fullest.  Please take good care of yourself, be strong, we are always here for you all.

Much love,

John, Mandy and Cheston

 

I had the honor of knowing Tom for over 30 years, both professionally and personally. He was an exceptional mentor, leader, and friend; gentle, caring, kind, honest and knowledgeable. You could always count on Tom, and he offered his hand to help even before being asked. And he was a family man, loving and proud. He was an asset to the Santa Monica community. He will be missed greatly.

Hi Renata, I was so very sorry to hear about Tom’s passing. He was a wonderful, smart kind person. I truly enjoyed knowing him. I wish the best for you and the rest of your family during this most difficult time. With warm regards.
Rod Carter

I worked with Tom at Santa Monica College. We worked closely when Tom was acting president and I was the director of EOPS, a program for low income students. Tom was great! He watched our state funded budget closely and often said something like “why are you spending so much money on this activity “? When I explained, he always said “ OK, go ahead if it will benefit the students”.
Tom was a strong student advocate and had a special place in his heart for our students who many challenges and were often the first person in their family to attend college. I retired almost ten years ago but I remember Tom fondly and am so very sad that he is gone. My best to his family. With much appreciation for the warm hearted guy that he was.  ❤️♥️❤️

We will never forget Tom. Such a gentle, kind, friendly man. And honest... that’s not so usual these days. We were so lucky to have met him.
Hugs to Renate, Alex, Amanda, and Emilia.
Eva&Russ Lunday