I knew her only briefly, but in that time it was easy to see that Tiffany was truly very special. She had a real spark. She brought a vibrant energy to all that she did. Her presence and smile could light up a room. Her laughter was magical. She was a kind, caring person who also had a strong, resilient, tough side. She seemed most energetic and alive in those moments when she talked about Kinlei who was clearly the center of her universe; her pride and joy.
Tiffany might have seemed shy at first to those just meeting her. But once she got to know you, she was an open, warm, loving, friendly person. She had great empathy, especially for children and animals. She was greatly moved by the suffering of others. It seemed she couldn’t help but to care.
I loved her curiosity. She wasn’t afraid or ashamed to let on that she didn’t know things. She unhesitatingly asked questions about things she didn’t understand. This could range from global politics to how the espresso machine worked. Once things were explained and understood, she did not hesitate to make judgements. Anything from “he sounds like a jerk” to “oh, that’s cool.” I was always struck by how often and how much I agreed with her quick assessments.
She loved to laugh and did not struggle to find the funny side of things. When others pointed out amusing or odd things, she was quick to see the joke and loved to share the amusement. Often, days later, she would remember the moment and smile and remind others. She had a gift for re-living amusing or happy times and I loved how, when she did that, those memories seemed to stir almost as much joy in her as the original event.
I loved how she would sometimes sing along with the radio. She had a lovely singing voice and it seemed she would sometimes get lost in the music. I got the sense that she was remembering other times that she had heard the same song. It was like the music was transporting her to another time and singing along was how she engaged herself in the memory she was reliving. I regret that I never told her how much I enjoyed her singing. I think I feared that calling any attention to it might cause her to stop. She was, in a way, a shy person after all.
I also loved how she was comfortable with silence. Sure, you could have a fast paced conversation with her, especially when she was excited. But she could also engage in a slow conversation with lots of very, very long pauses. Time to think or reflect on what was being discussed before adding another thought or comment to the mix. Sometimes during these discussions I was never really sure when the conversation was over. When she got up to do something else or just fell asleep, that was typically the sign.
She was proud of her family and spoke lovingly of them—especially her sisters. I have to admit I couldn’t keep them all straight and, now with her passing, I suspect I’ll never get to know them the way I once thought I might.
Family was important to Tiffany. And it’s her family now who I am sure are grieving most. Parents should not have to bury their children. And children should have a chance to grow into adulthood before losing their mothers. I will miss Tiffany but I believe she’s in a better place. So my heart goes out now to others whose lives are diminished because Tiffany is no longer with us. She was a treasure. She will be greatly missed.