This memorial website was created in memory of our beloved son,Tommy Paduano Wartell, 33, born on August 5, 1981 and passed away on August 27, 2014. May this site help the memory of Tommy to be with us forever,
.OBITUARY: Thomas “Tommy” Henry Paduano – Wartell passed away unexpectedly on August 27th at age 33. Thomas was the dear son of Thomas E and Margaret (Peg) Wartell; loving husband of Gerald “Jerry” Paduano – Wartell; beloved brother of Catherine “Katie” (Aaron) Hines. He was also a wonderful nehew and cousin, and a treasured friend to many people. He will be deeply missed! Two of Tommy’s passions in life were gardening and horticulture. The Wartell property bears witness to his genius. His family is very proud of his accomplishments, most notably chartering the Gay – Straight Alliance “GSA” at Naperville Central High School during his time there. Visitation for him will be Monday September 1st from 4-8 at Leonard Memorial Home, 565 Duane St. Glen Ellyn. A funeral mass will be Tuesday 11 AM at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church 393 N. Main St., Glen Ellyn. Interment will be private.
Thomas Henry Wartell
GREEN EYES
Look into my eyes....look deeper? They are green like those of my departed grandmother. All she ever wanted was for my happiness so she took me as is. What a wonderful sort of love. I think we all get passed over by suitors and suckered by smarmy con artists. The one thing you should never sell is your integrity. If you stay true to yourself and show all your cards in a "take it or leave it" gesture it can lead to wonderful things like eternal love. The love she had for my grandfather (Henry) echoes throughout the family line as the most beautiful thing you can have. When I say I love you I am saying I love you "as is" we have no guarantees I'm the mortal coil the best we can do is love much and love deeply. The great thing about love is that you can do it over and over again. Love is what binds the world together and it stops hate from ripping it apart. I think sometimes we have to stop and think how many people love us as we are. Every cloud can have a silver lining if you want and rain makes the flowers grow. I just want to tell everyone I love how special it is how they have touched my life and the grief and sorrow of loss is better than a life without love.
Tributes
Leave a tributeI never hope to see one
I can tell you truthfully
I'd rather see than be one
Little Tommy laughed and laughed when I recited this. The memories of your laugh warm my heart. Love you always. Aunt Kathy
I remember your enjoyment of the buffets served and the silliness and affection that your younger cousins and you shared. Bkessed be, Tommy. ♥️ Thanks for the memories.
He had been scared that his Mom and I would kick him out of the house, like a couple of his friends had been. Well that fear had been put to rest with assurances from Peg and me. And, here we were, on a vacation! Pretty far from ostracization!
As we talked, we joked about speaking softly, lest a Christian camper would overhear us, turn us in, and we would be ridden out of the place on a rail (or worse)! Many of the young people at the place looked like refugees from Oral Roberts University. Always squeaky clean; boys wore dress shirts, and girls had dresses on. A lot of Bible quoting, and "praise the Lord" being overheard. Of course, they didn't talk to us. We were obviously hawaiian or silly T-shirt wearing, laughing Democrats.
We only stayed one night.
The love you gave
The laughter you shared
Are with us still.
All this and more
Color this day
This poignant day
This day of remembrance
I will not cease to miss you
I will not deny the ache
But oh, my Heart,
I will always cherish the love.
And thought of you.
I watched birds fly today
And thought of you.
I remembered family parties
And thought of you.
My heart overflowed
As I thought of you.
Through smiles and tears
I think of you.
I love you forever.
Today we celebrate your 38th birthday. We will eat your favorite strawberry, whipped cream cake, We will shop at your favorite store, GW...GOOD WILL. We sometimes find a memory item. Do something extra fun today, Know your family is always here, remembering you.. LOVE, MAMA
four years without your smile
four years without your stories
and your Coyote wiles
Your life wasn't always easy
But your heart was pure and true
If you were his friend
I would say, lucky you,
Catch all the rainbows that heaven will allow
and stay close to all your loved ones
who will care for you for now,
Rest in Peace
Thomas Henry Paduano Wartell
August 5,1981 to August 27, 2014
12 Comments written by Peg Wartell August27, 2018
The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not "get over" the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, Swiss psychiatrist and author
Only his mother, Peg, knows. Tom's sister, Katie, knows; but in a different way. As only a sibling can. Perhaps a deeper way.
And yet, there is solace. Solace in knowing that Tommy is happy and peaceful, and surrounded by loved ones on the other side of the veil. That helps. But not enough.
Take time to read Tommy's excellent words in Green Eyes. "I just want to tell everyone I love how special it is how they have touched my life the grief and sorrow of loss is better than a life without love."
your voice and silliness too,
The memories live on in the
mind and heart of the life that was you.
Thank you
for honoring so many lives like mine
that's a tribute to you.
on this day eternal life
began for you.
"Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."
Thank you so much for leaving tributes for Tommy's birthday. As Brad's tribute mentioned "love creates memories that no one can steal." Around Tommy's birthday the memories come fast and furious. Some with a chuckle, and some with a tear, but all with the knowledge that we were blessed to have Tommy in our lives. Thank you for sharing your memories with us! PEG
With prayers for Tommy and the rest of the Wartells,
-Brad
Love, Mama
I am so saddened to have just learned of Tommy's death. I know he was such a true and genuine person, living the life that was meant to be and sharing it with all those who loved him.
My deepest sympathies. I know Tommy's light will live on in all those who knew him and loved him.
You are a beautiful writer. Thank you for your words of hope and joy at this holiday season. I know many people have a hard time coming to forever missed, but my son is HERE in many ways. The joyful pictures show how he loved life. He was certainly worrisome, and so much work to raise, but he was a joy. Your words were a great comfort. I feel he is going on with the Lord's work. Love, Ms. Peg
Leave a Tribute
Please be patient.
When All You Have Are Memories
♥♥♥♥♥ When All You Have Left Are Memories ♥♥♥♥♥
I opened my dresser drawer today
Way in the back were knitted cowboy boots
Grandma Wartell gave them to baby Tommy, and when they became too small, I put a ribbon through them and hung them on the Christmas tree.
He’s four and a half and does not know his alphabet! I know he is smart. What is going on? I bought him a dinosaur book. A is for Apatosaurus, B is for Brontosaurus, C is for Cephalopod. He learned his ABC’s in two days.
I do remember that he approached his entire educational career that way. If he was interested, and/or motivated he learned quickly. If not, the information wasn't worth learning.
If you knew Tommy you know that he did not have a stellar academic career. But I wanted to share the following information with you.
1999 Illinois Goal Assessment Program: I have never been prouder of Tommy, or angrier at Naperville Central High School. Tommy was abused for being gay in high school. I am not using that word lightly. His teachers knew how intelligent he was because they would tell me. But no one would figure out how to evaluate him differently, also they did not protect him from bullies. Well, these tests showed them my son’s intelligence, and how they all failed him.
. SOCIAL SCIENCE: student 363/ School 315.
Notable score:Tommy, GEOGRAPHY 100% /school 78%
How can someone get 100% in any standardized test? What a kid.
His test scores brought glory to his high school.
His high school brought shame and and sorrow to him.
SCIENCE: 420/ school 310.
There are many more, and they are all impressive.
So, if you know a “Tommy” make sure you fight for them. We did our best. After frequent meetings and struggles to help, Tommy did Graduate and we are very proud of him for that.
LOVE, MAMA
My 2nd Mothers Day
Its my second mother's day without my son. Each and every day I picture him. He is sitting sideways on Tom's big brown chair. He is sleeping. Eyes close, peaceful. Jerry is screaming for Tom. As I come close I touch him and feel how cold he is. Sleep apnea and an enlarged heart took him to heaven as he slept. He had been gone for four hours before we even knew he had a problem. He had a great summer. Jerry and he had a great birthday weekend Aug. 5th, at Boys Town, and the Conservatory. Here it was Aug. 27th, there were no bipolar episodes, Tom had a good summer, how could he be gone? Each and everyday, I still ask that question. How can my funny, intelligent, loving son be gone? Please hold your babies close today on Mothers Day. No matter how old they are, they will always be a part of you. Please remember my Tommy. My knowing that you think of him makes it easier for me. I know I am not on this journey alone. We can all hold him in memory, and tell him we love him.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE
Off to Kindergarden
When Tommy was five for no understandable reason he began to talk like a baby. It drove me nuts. (ahhhh, there's the reason!) No matter what I did this continued for months. It was time to for his Kindergarden evaluation. One of the tests was rhyming, so we rhymed like our lives depended on it, and he sure got that concept. My fear, of course, was that he would talk in that obnoxious baby voice. "Tommy, if you talk in your normal voice I will buy you one of those little dinosaurs you really like" (1.50). Now, the embarrasing part. I had to to ask the tester if Tommy used a normal voice. She said quizzically," he talked like a five year old." Off to buy the baby dinosaur.