還記得我還很小的時候,大約才國小的年紀吧,有一次全家暑假去伊利諾大學度假。在伊利諾大學的圖書館裡面的電腦我第一次接觸到網際網路。那時候大部分的網路都是文字介面的bbs。但是伊利諾大學是網路瀏覽器的發源地,所以圖書館裡面的電腦也都有當時最先進的圖形介面瀏覽器 - Mosiac,是現在我們熟悉的Chrome, Firefox, IE個個瀏覽器的前身。當時年紀小小的我對圖形介面的網際網路完全著迷。回到家之後一直吵著家裡也要接上網路。爸爸當時凹不過我的糾纏,就幫我開了我人生的第一個網路BBS帳號並且示範給我看BBS的操作。但年紀小小的我看著黑底白字的文字介面BBS,只覺得跟在美國看到的漂亮瀏覽器介面都不一樣,一直吵著說這不是我要的網路。爸爸也只是一直說這就是網路,是當時台灣能接觸到最好的網路了。小小年紀的我好失望,覺得爸爸都不懂,覺得爸爸不了解我要的是什麼。
這件事後來我也忘了,但爸爸顯然一直沒有忘記。之後我在電腦房裡面打電腦遊戲的時候,偶爾就會看到各種網際網路相關的書籍:教你怎麼安裝TCP/IP通訊協定的,教你怎麼撥接上網的,教你怎麼安裝瀏覽器,各種書都有。很簡單的書,我照著書上一個步驟一個步驟照著做就裝好軟體準備要上網了。開心啊!那時候的我覺得不用靠爸爸自己也能上網瀏覽網頁。但是,每一本書上都說要輸入上網的帳號跟密碼。我年紀小小的怎麼知道帳號密碼是什麼東西?於是我就默默的在這裡又卡關了。後來又過了幾天,忽然我就發現電腦桌上有一張小卡片上面寫著上網的帳號跟密碼。打進電腦裡面之後,果然就可以上網開啟網頁了!小時候的我好得意,好開心,覺得我自己做到了可以上網了!怎麼也沒想到那些書跟那個帳號密碼,是誰放在那裏給我的?
爸爸就是這樣教育我們的。話不需要多說,但背地裡總是默默的為我們付出。他總是用他自己的方式教育我們,塑造我們長大成人。或許是他在學校教的學生很多吧,有一套他自己點化人成長的方法。小時候我總不能理解,總是羨慕別人的爸爸都有時間陪伴小孩聊天,跟小孩出去玩,帶小孩看棒球看籃球或是跟小孩打球。我以前覺得爸爸很不負責任,總是沒日沒夜的在忙工作,就算全家出遊也是他去開會順便帶媽媽跟我們一起去。最後他總是在會場進進出出開會,留媽媽一個人帶我們小孩去玩。甚至連我的畢業典禮爸爸也總是缺席讓媽媽帶我參加。因為這樣,我很早就默默的對自己說我要做一個不一樣的父親。我當爸爸之後一定要陪小孩參加他人生中每個重要的時刻,要讓他感受到我對他的愛。
現在自己當爸爸了,回頭再想以前的事情,我才能理解當時的爸爸是如何辛苦的找尋他的人生平衡。並不是他對我們的愛少了,而是在那個時空背景之下,身為少數留學歸國的高知識份子,回到台灣高雄的故鄉,抱持的心態肯定是要盡力報效國家,貢獻自己的心力提升台灣,拉拔高雄。人家說能力越大,責任越大。身為有能力獲得國家獎學金旅外留學的菁英分子,身上的重擔自然是不小。對外要尋求開創事業,引領台灣高雄跟國際接軌,對內要扶養妻小。每個男人要面對的難題,爸爸用他自己的方式面對著。他用他的方式帶領中山資管跟高雄成長茁壯跟國際接軌,也用他的方式適時的點畫我們兩個小孩,確保我們在人生的路上能走的平穩。
另外一個故事是我高三考完學測要申請學校的時候。那時候的我念二類組念的很辛苦。二類組該好的數學,物理,化學三科我總是勉強及格,反而文組的地理,歷史,英文總是我的拿手科目。靠著這樣詭異的平衡我才能勉強混到班上中間的名次。這時候的我總覺得唸二類組完全不適合,覺得我該轉組。到了高三那年適逢賈伯斯接手蘋果電腦推出一系列全新的iMac跟iBook,用創新的設計改變大家對電腦枯燥無聊的刻板印象。在這樣的背景下,我覺得我好想念工業設計,好想跟賈伯斯一樣設計出厲害的產品改變世界。爸爸默默的看著這一切,在申請學校前進到我房間跟我好好的說了一段道理。他精闢的分析產學界的狀態,分析世界的潮流,告訴我申請設計科系需要的東西我都沒有,告訴我這條路要走的話會有多辛苦,苦口婆心的勸告我打消設計的念頭。他大概覺得已經是高中的小孩了,自己有一定的能力決定自己的未來了,但實在知道我在電腦方面的興趣可以繼續栽培,不想要我走設計這條比較辛苦的路。當時我很不以為然,覺得人生中常常缺席的爸爸怎麼這時候卻又來管我,覺得你畢業典禮都沒來參加,哪有資格來管我的未來發展。想是這麼想,但俗話說”知子莫若父”,爸爸總是知道怎麼安撫我的情緒並且說服了我選擇二類組的資訊科系就讀。現在回頭看,也確實還好當年有爸爸點醒我,不然人生會走的辛苦很多。這就是我爸爸,總是用最少的力氣做到最大的績效。工作如此,帶小孩也如此。他身上的重擔讓他沒有時間時時刻刻陪伴在我們身邊,但真正重要的時刻總不會缺席。
人生在世短短數十載,有的人一生昏昏諤諤一事無成。爸爸的一生為了我們也為了台灣,為了高雄,總是勞綠奔波,總沒有一刻好好的休息過。謝謝你,爸爸!你做的很多很足夠了!你教養出兩個小孩長大成人各自成家立業成了頂天立地的男子漢。你帶的學生各個在學界業界發光發熱正是台灣這個世代的主力。沒有你不會有現在的中山大學,不會有現在的高雄,不會有現在的台灣。你忙碌了數十年,現在終於可以好好休息了。以後的事就交給我們吧!我們會用我們的方式為台灣努力,讓台灣繼續前進的!
When I was in elementary school, one year we went to the University of Illinois during summer vacation. In the university library, I first encountered the internet. At the time, most applications on the internet were text based like BBS. But, UIUC is the birthplace of the graphical web browser, so they had installed on their library computers the precursor to all current web browsers - Mosaic. Young me was fascinated by the world wide web. After we got back home, I kept pestering dad to get it at home. Dad eventually caved and showed me how to dial into a BBS system and helped me create my first BBS account. I was not impressed. The text interface looked nothing like the rich, graphical web interface I saw in the university library. I had no idea that it was the best internet we could get in Taiwan at the time. I was disappointed.
I forgot about the thing after a few days, but clearly dad never forgot. Soon after, I started seeing computer books about setting up the internet in our computer room. Books that taught you step by step how to install TCP/IP, how to set up dialup internet, how to install a web browser. Really simple books that even a kid could understand. I did as the books said and installed all the software needed. I was so proud of myself. I had done what dad couldn’t. I had set up our computer to connect to the world wide web. But, all the books said to enter a dialup account and password. I had no idea how to get that, so I was always stuck on the last step. One day, I discovered a card with a dialup account and password on it sitting next to the computer. I entered the credentials into the dialup dialog, and it worked! I was on the world wide web! I was so happy with myself! Young me never stopped to think who bought the books and put them where I could find them, who left the account and password information there next to the computer?
That is how dad taught us. He was never a person of many words, but he was always working for us in the background. He was always educating us in his own way, sculpting us as we grew. Perhaps he treated us like his many students, educating us in the same way he helped his students grow academically. I never understood this when I was young. I was always envious of the kids that had dads who would hang out with them, who would take them on vacations, who would watch or play sports with them. I used to think he was neglecting us, always focusing on his work. Even when we went on family vacations, it was always so he could attend a conference somewhere and we just tagged along. Inevitably, he would end up in meetings all day, and my mom would take us sightseeing. He didn’t even come for my graduation. I said to myself that when I become a dad, I will be different. I will be present for those special moments in my son's life. I will let him know how much I love him.
Now that I have a son, I know the struggle dad was facing to find his own balance in life. It was not that he loved us any less. But, at the time, he was one of the few selected to receive higher education in the US on a government scholarship. Being one of the few scholars, one of the only ones to return to his hometown of Kaohsiung, he wanted to do so many things. He wanted to improve Taiwan, improve Kaohsiung. He wanted to let the world see his hometown. With great power comes great responsibility. He had so much responsibility on top of raising the two of us. He faced all of this in his own way. He led the MIS program at NSYSU onto the world stage. He led Kaohsiung and Taiwan onto the world stage. He did all this while leading the two of his children onto a path of our own to grow and flourish into complete adults.
I would like to share another story about my dad. It was my senior year in high school, the year to decide on a major to pick in college. I was doing terribly in Math, Physics, and Chemistry, but excelling at Geography, History, and English. I thought I absolutely did not have the skills to excel in the sciences. At the same time, Steve Jobs had returned to Apple and came out with the new iMac and iBook. He was changing the world’s understanding of what a computer could look like, what a computer could be. He made computers cool with cutting edge design. I wanted to be like that. I wanted to change the world with design. I wanted to study industrial design to be a designer of computers and other products. Dad saw all of this. He saw that I had some skills with the computer, but zero design skills. He sat me down in my room and gave me a long talk to convince me to go into Computer Science. I was so mad at that. This guy, always missing in my life, was now trying to make me do something I did not want to do. But, he knew me as a father knows his son, and he succeeded in convincing me to change my mind and choose a life in Computer Science. Looking back, he knew all along the easier path that I should take. If not for him, my life journey would be so much harder. That is dad, using the least effort to achieve the most impact on the people around him. He could not be with us all the time, but he was never missing in the truly important moments.
Life is short. Some people live out their lives without making a dent in the world. Dad lived out his life for Taiwan, for Kaohsiung. He was always busy, never getting a chance to rest and relax. Thank you, Dad! You did all that you could for us! You raised two children to become respectable men, each with their own families. You taught many students to grow into the current generation of leaders in Taiwanese academia and industry. If it were not for you, NSYSU would look very different, Kaohsiung would look very different, Taiwan would look very different. You worked tirelessly for decades. Now you can finally rest. Let us take the torch from you! We will continue where you left off and move Taiwan forward! May you rest in peace.