As a child, my mother taught me the powers within one's dreams.  As a teenager, I started teaching myself to control, rather than fear, my dreams.  As a result, I have simultaneously grown stronger and wiser over the years.  So last night, when I dreamt of going places and sharing experiences with Ma that have never and will never be, I languished.  It was so wonderful to communicate with the healthy version of my mother from my childhood.  When she held my hand as a guide, and listened to my vivid descriptions of the world's contents.  To rise from such a blissful abyss into such a painful consciousness today... grateful to be alive, yet disappointed that my bladder dragged me away from my temporary nirvana... Keep enjoying "our day", Ma

A year ago today, I stood at Ma's gravesite.  I participated in the Muslim burial process.  I watched her body returned to the soil.  I smelled the oils and herbs.  I heard the prayers.  I felt the peace that evaded her spirit throughtout her life.  I felt ambivolence.  AndI felt relief.  Relief and gratitude.  FINALLY she had an end to the physical pain and mental suffering which plagued her body and contorted her mind!  My selfish need to have her alive is appeased only by God's graceful welcoming of her.  Miss you, Ma.

Ma was always very meticulous with her appearance.  She is, to this day, the onky person I've ever known to match her top to the color of the stitching in her jeans!  This care definitely included her skin care regimen. She used Noxema at night, and cocoa butter in the morning.  The other day I remembered when  I was about 6 years old when Ma, with a white Noxema mask, decided to pretend she was a monster and chase Shaft and I from the bathroom to her bedroom!  We laughed so hard, and even harder when she caught us and tickled our bellys!

Mama was an expert at braiding her entire life. Myself and my siblings would all be left in awe at her ability to wash, part in straight lines, and braid our hair (a brush-beating sometimes accompanied the service) lol! Even though she was blind, she could braid her own hair with the expertise of a professional. She was good with her hands, and her ability to visualize, and layout a pattern was better than most “sighted” people. Her abilities later inspired me to become a hairstylist, as she had already laid the groundwork. I think that at one point or another, all four of us kids were certain that she was lying about her disability. There was no way that this woman couldn’t see! She could also crochet, cook, clean, and catch the city-bus to college by herself (with Nathan as her eyes). She was truly a force to be reckoned with. She taught us SO much. We will miss her forever.

Nathan was Ma's Seeing Eye dog who passed of natural causes September 1991.  Each time I birthed a child, I would bring the newborn to Nathan for "inspection".  He would sniff the child thoroughly from scalp to toe.  Then he'd gently lick the baby's soft spot before resuming his nap.  We called it Nathan's "blessing".  When he passed, I would tell suitors that I was unable to have any more children because Nathan was unable to give any more blessings, lol!

I remember being rushed into Mama's room, by I believe my older sister...all 4 of us were lined up alongside Mama's bed and one at a time we were closely examined by our mother because her sight had been restored momentarily. Then I was far too young to understand something that is ever so clear to me now, but our mother was one of God's miracles of which he performed many works within. Our Lord and Savior had my eldest sister convinced at one point, that our mother could surely, "See".