As a student of Psychology and a teacher, I am always interested in the answers to why a human being is the way he/she is or was. One of the interesting things that might explain a person is what Psychology/Sociology refers to as “Birth Order.” My study of birth order and its characteristics gave me insight into how blessed we are to have Pa George Alade Ayokalu-Aje as our first born.
Some “Characteristics of Firstborn Children” I admired in my brother/daddy included the following:
Reliable: Daddy’s words were his bonds; he led by example and always let you know that he valued sincerity, integrity, loyalty, and honesty. He valued punctuality and promptness even till the end — the family zoom with him on Jan 1, 2021 was a good example; Daddy was ready and “his right-hand man,” Deji, sent out text messages to all around thirty minutes before the scheduled time, that Daddy was ready and reminding us he still disliked lateness. I am still grateful to God and the organizers of that zoom; Daddy was happy and we all had a great time —and was planning a repeat for Easter. Man proposes and God disposes; to God be all glory and honor!!!
Conscientious: Daddy was careful and diligent with strong desires to not only doing tasks well, but also taking obligations to self and others seriously. He was trusted by many family members and friends residing outside Owo; he helped them built their houses in Owo without any financial gain attached.
Cautious & Structured: Daddy was very discreet, prudent, and always exhibited higher degree of wisdom in his dealings and interactions. He was reserved but guarded by defined principles that served as values/ characteristics many of us who were blessed to be raised by him later appreciated. He’s very introspective and wanted others to learn from his mistakes; he once told one of his sons not to have many children- - mind you, that’s after his second. We later laughed about the comment during one of our phone conversations, but at the end he still wanted me to know that he was serious about his sons not having more than one wife, like our father, and being cautious of how many children they have. He wanted us to avoid unwarranted stress and unnecessary burdens associated with certain life choices. He admitted, he prayed a lot, sacrificed a lot and had to work harder than he ought to in order to maintain dignity and standard he wanted for himself and those of us around him.
Have Parents’ Attention & Give Parents Attention: Daddy was raised by strong and loving parents. Parents who often taught and told us we could be great and accomplish great things. Although they did not acquire Western/ formal education, they were very smart and highly intelligent people. They loved and encouraged all their kids and relatives to admonish the importance of education. As the only girl, our parents and my brothers gave me the courage and encouragement to dream big, like my brothers. Our mother was a VERY strong - loving woman, and father was a gentleman who thought highly of his children and the Ojumu family. Our parents’ love and care for family and relatives were passed on to the children, traits embraced and taken to a higher level by their son, Pa George.
Daddy loved and respected our parents; he took great care of not only our parents till the end, but also his siblings and relatives. He never tasked any of his siblings with any mandatory contributions toward our parents’ care. As a great first born, he shouldered the responsibility of making sure our parents lived and had the very best life and care. Many of us could not do much for our father because we were still young, but with our mom, even though we could, Daddy continued his normal ways of care, and to my amazement, he would thank us for every contribution toward Mama’s care. What a great example of integrity and humility!!!
The Drive to Achieve & Excel at Everything: Daddy had a Type A personality; he worked for perfection and quality. He was a diligent and trustworthy employee and employer. He led by example and taught us all that good name, honor, diligence, integrity, dignity and humility create a better and healthier livelihood.
Controlling (Sometimes seen as bossy): I know some of us who were raised and led by Daddy sometimes felt he was strict and authoritative, but after being on my own and became a parent, I personally appreciated his leadership and approach to life. He taught us to be self disciplined, bold, truthful, be our best and to achieve. His life taught us to do our very best as employees, employers, parents, friends, .......,,,,etc. Daddy wanted everyone around him to do well, if he could totally control it!
Daddy, thank you for being my eldest brother, but most importantly, I thank you for allowing God to use you to fill-in the fatherly roles when our father was too old to do so. You took on being our daddy while Baba was still with us; you took care of our parents and everybody without complaining or boasting. You were awesome, and I am grateful to God for granting us the opportunity to care for you when the time arose. Our ultimate joy was making you happy and never lacking till the end —- enjoying from the fruits of your labor on us.
Thank you for your sacrifice; you denied yourself of life luxuries to care for all around you. I always remembered our conversation during a Christmas vacation from school; you and I sat at the balcony after returning your car. I commented on how well the car still looked and drove, and you said you almost sold it for a new Mercedes but decided not to because of school fees. You taught us to prioritize and take care of the importance first. Hence, I was so grateful to God and very delighted, years later, when your children presented you with a Mercedes. God is great!! I am grateful to God for your brilliant and caring children. The Lord will continue to bless and remember them.
I missed our frequent phone conversations— especially since my retirement. I thank The Lord for you always. As you always said in every situation, “A dupe lowo Olorun.” You are missed daily, but your memory gives me joy and pride to be known as one of your siblings/ children. You were AWESOME!! Even in your imperfections, we still learned and looked up to you!!! Keep watching us making you proud Daddy; God loves you and so do we all. Rest in perfect Peace Daddy!!!!