I do not write today to flatter the departed as many are wont to do in times like this. Mummy loathed flattery, and so it would amount to dishonor to deal her that card. Rather, I write not merely to eulogize mummy though eminently deserving of it, but to grant those who did not know and walk with Mummy closely, a slight peek into a life that touched mine and of course many others in ways that I cannot immediately begin to quantify.
I write to expose, albeit briefly her life, perhaps some reading may glean a few practical virtuous nuggets that could help in making our world better, and life, a little more bearable for those around us.
Mummy, you left a legacy not denominated in worldly goods however culturally fashionable, but in the quality and dignity of your children and other wards.
You taught us all hard work, the dignity of labor, honesty even on pain of repercussion, fierce loyalty to friends and family, undying care of family, ardent love for God and fellow men, and of course many more that the constraints of space ,time and pain would not allow me to effectively articulate ,and you modeled it all with fanatical rigor.
You never let a misdeed pass without registering your displeasure and exception to it. You corrected with firmness but were always fair. In correcting, you never stripped us of dignity and value. Every moment with you whether when upset or when pleased, was always a teaching occasion, a learning curve. You rebuked but you always made to feel loved and accepted.
Humanity was your immediate family. You never lacked or lagged in kindness and compassion. People would walk into your restaurant, who couldn’t afford to pay for a meal, and yet none left still hungry.
We watched you relate with the rich and poor, the educated and uneducated without disparity. Deference was simply on account of one being human, never on the basis of social status. You ingratiated with no one.
I felt as much your son as Stanley was. I was your son too. As much your ward as Funmi and Izadi
My growing-up years are difficult to contemplate without thinking favorably of you. Thoughts of you come with a cascade of sweet nostalgia. Memories of you will always be sweet.
They say those we love never really die, but live on in our hearts and always remembered by the things they have done. Mummy your deeds are multifold. You will always be sorely missed.
This is not goodbye; it is ‘ see you later ‘.
Rest on.
Nonso Ubajekwe.