Happy Birthday Chad I woke and the 1st thing I though of was you. The world seems so empty without you in it. You would be 43 today, When were kides we would play with are hot wheels and Gi Joe's, Then as teens we worked on real truck and Cars. I remember we worked at a gas station together and you got you CDL and quit. You came the station in a big white International Tran star and  yelled get in and I quit the jod and spent many days riding in the old truck with you. You were my baby brother and my best friend. I don't think anyone knows how alone I feel in the world. I will be strong and keep you in my heart forever.

it is the beginning of Fall, such pretty days & evenings, you always loved Halloween, giving the kids candy, the decorations how sweet are the memories of dressing you up for trick or treating & taking you to all the rich peoples homes to get good candy. Oh Chaddy is was so good having you to love & care for now Jesus cares for you, know how you are missed & loved. come see me if you can if not at least think of me for Joe & I love you so very much. Help us Jesus so we can be with you in glory & love, give us faith & strength, I love you Jesus, my Father God I worship you, thank you for everything, bring me to you Amen

you are on my mind & in my heart Chaddy as always, your ole
Mom misses you so very much, I can not describe how hard it is to not have you anymore, but you are with Jesus happy and with your boob. the time will come when we will all be together again. know that I love you with everything I am.

I just fixed pork chops & mashed potatoes & gravy, I thought of you Chaddy the entire time was cooking, my tator peeler is gone now, I remember all the times you would mash the tators for me cause of my hurt shoulder, you always helped on the family dinners so much, you were my buddy my helper, my precious son. I treasure these sweet memories & thank God for every one I have. Wait for me son, I will be coming one of these days, Oh the glory of seeing Jesus, You my Momma, You did not get to stay with me long enough, I am getting old & crippled, you would have helped me so, you always did help me & your Pop, God bless & keep you til we meet again. Help me Jesus, to understand to be strong like the card I just found from my Chad, he told me to be strong. Amen

I will always miss and love you Daddy! I will see you again in heaven.

well here is is the 4th of July, Joey is having us a cook out, Mike is coming, Oh how I wish you could be here to be my chef as you always were, I miss you so I don't think anyone understand, just Joey & Y hurts too. I so well remember those 4ths when my boys were little & I would buy fireworks, we had such good times, you will be here in my heart today potgut, your Momma love you so very much, it is so hard to do these things without you...you were always the leader the fun one, it is so good to have you as a son, Jesus thank God for me help me Amen

to my Heavenly Father, I am trying to be better & stop these meds I thought would help me, they are just as bad as the drugs that took my boys life, forgive me for influencing my boys to drink & do drugs, the pain is bad for me, oneb oy is with you, I am so thankful for that yet I feel so bad for the suffering he went through before he came home to you & I miss him so. My other boy is in prison, it is sad but I asked you to save him & you have, please continue to help him, Thank you for all you have done for us & Please give us faith & strength to be with you forever in Heaven, Amen

I love you Chaddy I miss you so, Please forgive me for all I did that ever hurt you

my Chaddy, if only you knew how very much I love you. maybe I loved you too much, I have thought at times God took you home because of this, you had suffered so for the wrong things you had done,you wanted to go be with Jesus my Mom & our Father God, you were his first, as we all were. God you have been so good to me & mine, I so very thankful, guide me through your will for me, please give me fath & strength, Amen

Today is Mother's Day, I put out some of the cards you have given me, they all were so sweet, you were always so thankful for all I did for you. I miss you so,it still seems impossible you are not here with me, Joey misses you so much also, we talked today of all the neat times we had with you Chaddy, you are a good son & a good brother, now you are with my Mom & Dad, they both loved you so & were so proud of . You always gave them time & attention. Wyatt told me how you made him promise to clean up his act & take care of us as we get older, he did not want us to go to a rest home. I always knew this is the way you felt, I was leaving the house to you, you loved it & loved Garden. I have being with you in Heaven to console me, we will all be with Jesus with God's love & peace. God is our Heavenly father, it will be so wonderful to be with him. I love you, my very own son.

my heart is full of such sadness, why did you not want to stay with us? We all love you so, I wish now I would have begged you more to stop, tried more things to help you. It will never be really good here again with out you, I went to see your little house, it is still like you left it, you worked so hard on it, it is so neat, I love the photo of you & your little family in it. I am so sorry this life did not turn out the way you wanted. I do know you had a good heart, you believed, you are with Jesus now, I will be there one day too, it will be so amazing to be there with all I love & our Heavenly Father & Jesus, know I love you so much. Y has to go to prison for such a long time, it breaks my heart. we will all be together again my precious boy, thank you so much Jesus for saving us, guide us keep us strong, keep the evil ones from our backs & thank you for everything, you have given us so very much...Amen

I am very sad today, this morning I took out all your things Chaddy, I held & smelled & remembered each one, your red coat, you had it on in Heaven, it still smells like you son. Your ole belt, your boots, so worn side ways just like my shoes always are. Your Curly shirts from Harvest, one has your blood on it, oh if you only had tried to stay here, I miss you so, Honey I wish I could talk to you, know you are all OK, happy, I know you are Jesus is with you & Jesus is the most wonderful one in our lives. You believed Chaddy, this is why I know you are with Jesus, you had a good heart, you are my most precious one, just like Jesus & God & my Parents & other boys, you had to leave me, that is not the way it should have been, I should have went first, but God cALLED YOU HOME, you had suffered enough, you did wrong but you asked for forgiveness & Jesus knows our hearts. I love all your photos & all the wonderful memories, I will hold onto them til I get to come be with you & Jesus & my Momma. Know you are loved & missed with every cell in my body. I love you baby pot gut

Spring is starting to be in the air, I am so looking forward to it, I only wish you could be here to greet it with us. I know where you are it is beautiful light, happy Spring all the time, your Pop had a dream about you this morning, it was very hard on him, he dreamed he found you as a little boy passed away, he was crying & saying no in his sleep, even when he woke ,he was so upset, he said God told him you are safe in Gods arms. You & your Pop had a very deep love, we will all be together again with Boob & Grandpa,you made the trip there before your parents, so dying will not be hard, I have you , all my loves & Jesus & god to live with forever. He took you Chaddy from all the shame & disappointments & illness, Thank You God for my sons & daughter & Husband &siblings, life has been good, help us all to be with you in the next world, Amen

today is very sad, My Wyatt is in jail, he will be going to prison for selling drugs. How I wish it wasn't true how I wish drugs had never been introduced into all of my families life. My sweet only sisters son is so very ill because of drugs, the Devils work. I love you Jesus, thank you my Heavenly father for all you have done for me, help me through this, I so want to be in Heaven with You & my boy, my parents, all the wonderful people who have gone before me., Give me peace Oh Lord, Amen

today is a very sad day, not only are you gone my Chaddy boy, your brother, Wyatt is in jail for selling drugs, he will be there for a long time. It was hard seeing him loose all the nice things of his in his Apt. Maybe it saved his life though, I will do my best to write to him often. I prayed he would be good, but we cannot see Gods plans. I do pray the biggest prayer of all, that we may all be together in Heaven together with Jesus & God our Heavenly Father, Father hear my prayers...Amen

Chad, your Aunt Freda sent this to us, it is so beautiful & true, I want to post it for her. She loved you very much, bathed you when you were first borned, always thought of you, her Matt is so very ill, these times are so hard but they are Gods work for a good reason, we miss you so here but also know, you are in happiness & love & joy, no more earthly pain, judgement, only good you had suffered enough, God took you home with him, I will be so very happy to see all of Heaven & it's wonders, know I love you so til we meet again, I know how much you leaned on me, we were a special bond of mother child love & it is hard to go on with half of us gone, I will be with you & jesus & out amazing Heavenly Father one day. XOXOXO

A gift of love was born on this day, Friday 13th, 1972, a loan from God. An inspiration,to all who knew & loved you. Your loving smile, laughter, friendship shared suddenly gone.no longer to touch,Tendar thoughts of you embrace our hearts. So rest in peace our gentle giant. God needed your sportsman spirit & heart, in his Army, leading you to your greatest reward. From Aunt Freda

today we went to visit our Chad's dear friends he used to drive a truck for, they are the most wonderful loving family, they were always so very good to our boy. He loved them they were his second family, I saw the trucks he used to drive, the shop he used to work in, it seemed his essence was there, I felt him. I had a wonderful visit with them, they are so understanding, it helped me even though it was so sad. To remember the the good people, the good times in his life. like Norma said God called him home, he was walking the wrong path, Jesus will guide him now, I love you son.

it is still so lonesome with out our Chad, he filled our lives with such love, watching movies with us, TV or sharing a meal. Always taking care of his Mom & Pop, now we must grow old with out our boy, but this will all be over when we get to Heaven & get to be with him & Jesus, we love you son, XOXO

another sad day without my son, I know he was only part mine, he belonged to you Jesus, Thank you my Heavenly Father for the blessing of being his Mother, forgive me for the pain I caused him, the mistakes I made, letting other people hamper my true feelings of love & devotion for him, please do not make him suffer for my misgivings as his Mother, God you gave him a kind, sharing heart, I know he is with you, thank you for saving him & letting me see all you have. I am bring to forgive everyone, help me I want to be with him with my savior & my heavenly creator, Chad always seen the good in people, he was m humble, not afraid of death, he knew he was coming to you & his Grandma. I love you so chad forgive me please!

I had a hard day to day, I miss my boy so very much, sometimes it seems I can not go on but I do, for my loved ones left here with me. I have many wonderful memories, your pictures your voice, videos of you, a lock of you beautiful hair, I cut for you all your life. I loved being your Mom, you are my very best friend, I will see you again, I listen to this song & think of you
http://vimeo.com/26753364

I keep thinking some one else will write to you Curly, I was studying the bible & know I will know you in Heaven, I am happy you are happy & free of strife, thankful your Boob & grandpa are there with you. I still can not deal with you going home so young, but you belong to God, first. he graced me with having you, loving you, being your Mom, I thank you God for this blessing. I thank you Jesus for giving my boy the chance to go to Heaven & be with you. Amen

know how much we love & miss you, Doe misses you so very much, it snowed, I remembered how you always cleaned our sidewalks every snow & how you loved to drive crazy in the snow with your 4 wheelers.  tomorrow is new years & your Pops Birthday, it will be so empty with out you here. I love you & miss you so, your Mom

on this day & at this time, three years ago you went to be with Jesus, free from pain & strife now, this comforts me, my boy Chaddy, your are such a light in my life, I will be with you again, this sustains me, rest in Peace.

Safely Home

I am home in heaven, dear ones.
Oh, so happy and so bright!
There is a perfect joy and beauty
In the everlasting light.
All the pain and grief is over,
Every restless tossing passed;
I am now at peace forever,
Safely home in heaven at last.
There is work still waiting for you,
So you must not idly stand,
Do it now, while life remaineth . . .
You shall rest in God's own land.
When that work is all completed,
He will gently call you Home;
Oh, the rapture of that meetingyou one day, your Mom
Oh, t.he joy to see you come!

And if I go, while you’re still here…
know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure behind a thin veil you cannot see through.

You will not see me,
so you must have faith.

I wait for the time when we can soar together again, both aware of each other.

Until then, live your life to its fullest and when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart…I will be there.

as Christmas draws near I remember the last Christmas Tree I put up while you were still here, you called & said you had to come by & inspect it, you did & you said it passed. You left us just days later. You always had such fun at Christmas, at all the special days, our dinners, watching movies, just being together, Family. They will never be the same again, you always made us laugh, especially Joe, he was just here talking with me about you,he misses you so, he is like me it is so very empty without our Chad. RIP my son. Now you are free from the ugly comments & judgement. the women who never wanted you & broke your heart, the pain, the defeat you had to feel, please forgive us all for any pain we ever gave you, for you live in our hearts & memories everyday, Jesus took you home from this worldly strife, you told me the last day of your life you talked to Jesus everyday, that Grandma Ruby had a place saved for you in Heaven, I know she did she always loved you so, , we love you our handsome truck driver, you were not a failure, you made all laugh, you shared, you did not judge, God blessed us with having you, I am so thankful for this.

it is a beautiful day, I thank you Lord for all you have given me, my heart misses my Chad so much, I long to talk to him, see his smile, cook for him, cut his hair again. I know he is in a much better place with you Jesus, but I am still a human, I am his mother, the love is so strong. Thank you for sending him to me to let me know he is with you, I have been so blessed, I pray for you to guide me further & I thank you for all the help you have given me. Amen

I left us some new songs, they are from my heart with so much love..

Thanksgiving was not the same yesterday Curly, you were not here to help me like you always did, Joe helped me, he misses you so much.
You are always with us in our hearts, it soon will be 3 years since you left us & I still can not cope with out you. Lindsey just called, she is so precious a bit of our Chaddy left here for us! Thank uou Jesus for giving my boy a chance at salvation, what a precious gift for us all, Amen

I set here missing my son so, not knowing some times how I will go on, he was such a great part of my life, everything seems empty with out him here. The joy & love I felt when I'd see him at my door or driving his big grain truck, I never thought I would have to fgo throughe this life without him, old age would have not been so bad if my boy was here to be with me, Oh my Heavenly Father, help me...Amen

today was a hard day for Chads brother Joey & myself, we were both so very close to Chaddy, he lived with Joey & called & came by everyday, he was the instigator of all the fun cook outs, always bringing movies to watch, doing fun family things, his leaving has made our lives so lonely & empty. We treasure every minute we had with him, this is so hard to live with out our boy, Help us Jesus.

I am posting this beautiful song for you Chaddy my boy, it reminds me so very much of you, this is how you felt, you told me the day before you left, My Mom, your Boob, had a place saved for you in Heaven, you were so brave, not afraid to go. I know how glad you & Grandpa were to be together again, he was so very proud of your truck driving. It will be so wonderful to be with you all again with Jesus, All my love your Mom!
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#sent/1470e1f38bdee3ef

This song is country...you loved country music...you also loved your Grandpa so very much, you were so good to him. Always taking him for rides in your big beautiful truck, he always said "that boy can put that big truck on a dime" tell my Dad hi for me, I love you both so very much, what a blessing I had in you both
https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=if%20hedaven%20wan't%20so%20far%20away

Happy Birthday my son, today is your Birthday, a day I shall always remember, so precious you were to me, what a joy it was to be your Momma, you gave such love & happiness to our family. It is so very lonely without you, I thank God everyday for the 38 years 2 months & two days we had with you, I am happy that you have your Grandma & Grandpa with you in Heaven, they both loved you so & were so very proud of you, know that you are missed & loved beyond belief.Your in my heart everyday til I am with you forever, Mom~*~

Happy Birthday Chad. I so miss you. I feel so alone. I wish you were here we could work on the trucks and bikes together. go shooting out in the country. Everyday I think you. You made me laugh and helped me when I so needed help. I will see ya again with Grandma and Grandpa have some her fried chicken,biscuits and her sausage-gravy and her big old griddle cakes. This is your day I love and miss you so much . Your big brother Doe

Chaddy...my mind & heart are with you this day, as always, I long to see your face, hear your voice, give you a big hug. I am so blessed to have had you, my precious son, please forgive me for any hurt I ever gave you, I am so proud of you, You leaving is still unbelievable to me, know I am trying hard to be there one day with you, Mom & Jesus, Thank you God for my precious family, the life you have gave us & the awesome world to come, guide us all to that beautiful shore where my boy waits for me...Amen

This song is for you Chad, it is my feelings so exact, I know I'll see you again, I thank the Lord everyday for the precious time he gave us with you, you made my life so full & happy
http://www.metrolyrics.com/ill-see-you-again-lyrics-westlife.html#/startvideo

Chad always made everyone laugh & smile, he was a joy to have as a son, I just finished reading the cards he always gave me, they are such a precious memory of his fun ways, my patio is a lonely place now, his corner on the couch so empty, Thank you God for my children, what a true blessing to be their mother, I love you Curly!!

He had that smile that just lifts the other persons heart. I know you must miss him so much. Hugs sweet cousin. love you

my boy was alwaystere to help .anyone, shared all he had, made us laugh, enjoyed life to the fullest, loved cook outs was a great cook, took his knocks & died brave & unafraid, told me he day before he left, his Grandma, my Mom, who loved him so, had a place saved for him in Heaven, We will all be together for ever one day, this is what keeps me going!