All of my life, for as long as I can remember (and probably before that too), my mom and other family and friends have told me "you are your father's daughter". So I have always known that a large part of my self-identity was linked to my dad.
I've always been his little girl. My family always joked that I had him wrapped around my finger. From a child all the way until just before he went into the hospital a few weeks ago, if someone needed to talk my dad into doing something he didn't want to do I was the one sent in. He had a hard time telling me no. He had a special place for me in his heart, his baby girl. And because of that, my dad formed me into the woman I am today.
He taught me to be independent, he never wanted me to rely on a man. But in the way he loved me and treated me like a princess, he imbedded in me a self worth that shaped the way I viewed relationships and how I wanted to be treated by a significant other.
He taught me that working hard is necessary, but family comes first. My dad was mostly the sole bread winner growing up, and he worked long hours day in and out, and yet he always found time to be involved in my life. From coaching me in basketball since 2nd grade to coming to every program, awards ceremony, recital, and event i was involved in. He never missed a thing, no matter how tired he was from his long day at work.
He taught me what unconditional love is and was the perfect example to me of the way God loves his children.To be honest, looking back, I can't ever really remember my dad staying mad at me for more than a few minutes. All it took was one tear or one sheep-ish smile and I knew he had forgiven me almost as soon as he was ever unhappy with me.
I can sit here and say that I know I didn't always make the decisions my dad wanted me to make, but I always felt as though in his own way, even if he didn't admit it or like it, my dad understood me. He understood that I needed to experience things on my own and make my own choices. I am, after all, my father's daughter. And in the end, I know he was proud of me.
Today as I write this, I am mourning the loss of my daddy, and experiencing the worst hurt I have ever felt in my 27 years on earth. Today I am mourning the loss of the unique love that my dad had for me, that no one else will ever be able to give me again. I will always love and miss him. But I find so much comfort in remembering who he was and what he meant not only to me, but to so many around him.