Memory Lane
When my husband and I were still dating in 1987, he brought me to Moorehead, MN to meet Sam, Darla, Brandon and Leah. They were so welcoming that I felt at ease right away. Darla as always fed us with her delicious home cooked meals.
Sam drove us on a sightseeing tour of the state and we wound up stopping to camp overnight at a campgrounds adjacent to Sandy Lake. We had heard that the lake was full of leeches so we asked the ranger when we drove onto the campgrounds. He assured us otherwise. We made camp, gathered around the fire, cooked and shared stories.
The next morning the ranger drove by and jokingly announced "Leech patrol" which made us all laugh. But soon after, Brandon saw a real live leech on the back of a turtle that crawled nearby. Leah exclaimed "GROSS!" and Darla guffawed at the sight. Seeing the leech caused my fears to return, knowing that there must be many more waiting to attach themselves to my legs. But no more were spotted.
Then when we started to decamp the wind suddenly picked up, making one of the tents to start rapidly rolling away. We all ran after it but Brandon caught up with it and halted its exodus. Everyone laughed hilariously at the sight and I still remember Darla bent over gasping with glee. That was my first camping experience and I will never forget that wonderful time and having spent it with my husband's family was an added plus.
Darla had a natural talent for making others feel comfortable,welcomed and cared about. . She will be alive for us who loved her for as long as we live.
A Poem by Darla
While working for Adult Basic Education together, we met many amazing students...we learned so much about people and what it takes to meet their needs. The job was not always easy... This poem is a great snap shot of the ABE story.
Ode to ABE
People from many cultures
In a crowded classroom
Reading, computing, learning a new language
Laughter and joyful conversation mixed with words of despair
Pungent odors from spicey foods and unwashed bodies
Immigration raids, inebriated transients with mangy dogs, and an iguana at
GED testing
Unmet dreams for many; a new beginning for some
Reading, computing, learning a new language
In a crowded classroom
People from many cultures
Music
I love and miss my friend Darla...it's still so easy to see her in her home on the side of the mountain. I enjoyed my trips to the mountain, to be a guest at Casa Roy was truly to be pampered and fed delicious food! The hosts were the best!
So many memories of Darla involve music...seeing Rod Stewart - aka Chicken Man - at the FargoDome, we had great seats! Going to concerts by Queen Ida and the Bon Temps Zydeco Band, Ladysmith Black Mambazo and of course Rhonda Vincent and the Rage...what a wonderfully eclectic talented group of performers. I wouldn't have "met" them without an intro from Darla.
We went to plays in Fargo/ Moorhead and Minneapolis too. Miss Saigon made a beautiful and lasting impression. I learned just what storytelling is all about with my friend too.
I had the privilege of joining Sam and Darla at The Shed, The Red Barn and Carter Fold. It was so very beautiful to see them dance together.
I have been humming Rhonda Vincent's "Homecoming" for days... It's a beautiful song, please listen to it - on you tube - if you have a chance...may it bring you peace.
Sending all my love to Sam and family, Claudia.
More to follow.....Rhubarb Cream Pie recipe and Darla's "Ode to ABE" (that's adult basic education...) soon!
Beautiful Darla
Beautiful Darla. I'm stunned and at a loss for words, but I have so many feelings about her. I have know Darla for a very long time. Sam and D were wonderful friends when we got married in New Orleans and they were in Baton Rouge. We travelled with them, drank with them and always enjoyed each others company. Sam and D were almost one being. You never knew where one started and the other stopped. Darla was the social, emotional one and Sam was the funny one.They made a wonderful pair.
I lost touch with them when they moved to Minnesota and I got a divorce. I eventually moved to North Carolina and, shortly after, they moved to Erwin, Tenn. We were an hour and a half away. I felt like family had moved into my backyard. I visited for holidays and went to the storytelling festival for many years. Darla was such a gracious hostess. She acted like it was no trouble to have you in her home. She was a great cook too. One time when I was there she made Mrs. Stroud's coffee cake. That kind of blew my mind. Family will appreciate that. When I went to the story telling festival she would get the tickets and decide who we should see. It was so easy for me, but she did all the work. She always thought of others first.
Darla had a wonderful talent of knowing the exact emotional tone of every situation. I think she took pride in aiding that resonance when she thought it was out of harmony. She was superb smoothing things over.
I watched her mother her children and they will attest to that experise. I never saw her as and active grandmother, but I could hear the love she had for her family when she related stories about them.
She was such a light in this world and she will be missed. There is am empty place im many hearts today.
For Darla, I know her journey will be beautiful. She will get to see the mother she so dearly loved. I hope she doesn't see all the sorrow left by her absence because she might try to fix it.
Some cherished memories
Among the very many treasured memories of Darla that will always be alive to me, I want to share these few:
As Darla and Sam hurried from their wedding ceremony back out the church, I still see her happy shock when she saw their 'getaway car' sitting on the street in front of the church packed full of inflated baloons of all colors. She remained happy and good natured as she and Sam were forced to sweep out hundreds of the baloons just so they could get into the car. What a sport, I thought then and I have had occasion to think the same thing over and over about her.
Early in a several-day trip to Chichen Itza in 1965 with Sam and D, our guide spotted a large iguana on one of the ruins, stopped the vehicle, whipped out his .22 rifle and before we could react he had shot the lizard. He brought it to the rustic one-floor 'motel' where we were staying, saying that he was going to give the iguana to the cook to prepare for us to eat. We thought "sure, sure, he is". A few hours later at dinner, a cold salad was brought to us and on top of the greenery were a number of pieces of seafood-looking meat. When we were told that our supper was to be an iguana salad the look on Darla's face (and no doubt the rest of ours) was utterly priceless. We ended up eating it and, besides being a tad chewy, found it to be quite good.
At least several of the times that Sam and D visited me at one or the other of my French Quarter apartments between 1960 to '62 I'd planned for us to go on a Mississippi River cruise on the "River Queen", a large paddleboat docked near the Quarter. We could clearly hear the tooting strains of the calliope as the boat prepared to sail nights. Before every such visit I would urge Darla to bring a nice dress for this special occasion-to-be. Well, after some drinks and hours of jawboning, we didn't make it to the boat. Ever. I even had the poor taste to josh about having D bring the "River Queen" dress in vain. And not once did she say or otherwise convey disppointment or irritation. As well she should have. Years later I finally realized what an oaf I had been and what an angel on earth she was for putting up with such loutish behavior and showing such grace in doing so. Even later I realized that I had never heard speak ill of any other person. How many people could make it to that league? What a lady. What a saint.
Her presence is forever with those of us who loved her.
My 'Big Girl' Cousin
My memories of Darla will now need to be sorted out, solo. Ironic that one of my high hopes upon retirement was finally getting to Asheville for a one-on-one with her, a careful collection of childhood memories. The target date was to be the week following my nephew's wedding in Georgia this October. Now, I simply trust that the most cherrished will somehow bubble up.
My first cousin Darla Rea spent hours with me in my pre-school years in Palestine, TX. Her dog Tippy made me laugh; walking with her to band practice made me feel 'big' and special; learning to hold and twirl a baton shaped years of practice, accomplishment, pride and FUN! And as I grew, dreaming of going 'off to college' and marrying a college professor guided my choices.
Darla was my childhood idol and perhaps she never knew how news of her accomplishments became folklore for me--bigger than life -- my guiding light. In my eyes she was confident and bold; she set the bar high. Now, as ever, every thought of her brings me joy. Her smile could light up a room; the sound of her laugh stirs me still.
Now, in my grief I need to sit near a tree or on a porch she enjoyed... or finally go hear that mountain music on Saturday nights. Or perhaps just sit at dusk and pet her dog so we can share our loss. Now, as ever, I simply need to know more of her, gathering up memories across years and miles.
I'll be thankful to read the stories shared. And I'll bake her apple pie for Thanksgiving.
D's Favorite Pie Crust Recipe
(adapted by Darla from Bon Appetit, July 2007)
Yield: Two pie crusts
Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups unbleached all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 stick (1/2 cup) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1/2 chilled lard or frozen nonhydrogenated solid vegetable shortening, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
4 tablespoons ice water
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Preparation:
Blend flour, sugar and salt in processor. Add butter and lard; using on/off turns, blend until mixture resembles coarse meal. Transfer mixture to medium bowl. Combine 4 tablespoons ice water with 1 tablespoon lemon juice, add to flour/butter/sugar, mix with fork until dough begins to clump together, adding more water by teaspoonfuls if dry. Gather dough together. Divide dough in half; flatten each half into disk. Wrap each disk in plastic and refrigerate at least 1 hour. Can be made 3 days ahead. Keep refrigerated. If necessary, soften slightly at room temperature before rolling out.
Memorial Pie
Cheesy Apple Pie
Crust
Add ½ cup finely shredded cheddar cheese to Pie Crust Recipe, or use pre-made pie crust.
Place crust in deep dish pie plate. Refrigerate while preparing apples. Do not prick the crust.
Filling
8 cups sliced apples
1 cup sugar
¼ cup flour
1 TBSP cornstarch
1 tsp ground cinnamon
Shake of nutmeg
Topping
¾ cup sugar
¾ cup flour
1/3 margarine
1 cup finely shredded cheddar cheese
Stir sugar and flour together. Cut in margarine till crumbly.
Gently stir in cheese.
Place filling in crust (use your fingers to poke apple pieces down into the spaces) and then add topping, gently pat topping down into place.
Cover edge of crust with foil or pie collar.
Bake at 375 for 45 minutes.
Remove collar.
Bake an additional 20 minutes or till top is lightly browned and pie is bubbling.
Cool on rack.
Note: Place a piece of foil on shelf beneath pie to catch drippings.