April 10, 2023
April 10, 2023
Hey mom, it’s 6 years today since I last saw you. I know everyone always says that it feels like yesterday with grief and things like that. But it doesn’t for me, it feels like 6 years and I’m tired. I’m so beyond tired after these 6 years without you. It doesn’t feel right or natural to still be here without you. All I’m thinking of right now is how I’m going to go 10 years without you and then 15 and 20 and so on. It just doesn’t seem right that I won’t see you again for years and years. And I wish you were here to see how amazing Erin is and the amazing person she has grown into. I wish you were here to meet Percy and see how goofy of a dog he is or Loki and meet the most regal dog you have ever met. Or meet Maxx, yes THE Maxx Vail, the one Erin always talked about and see them finally date. I wish you were here so you could go to Key West again and finally get the chance to sit on that beach behind our hotel and read the newest Stephen King book on a hammock. I wish you were still here so I could get a classic Dee hug again. I wish you could see who I am now. I feel like a different person one that you would hopefully be proud of. I hope you see that I’ve grown so much and I still have so much more to grow. I hope you still see me everyday from wherever you are. I hope you know that I love you so much that it hurts. And I want you to know that you may think you are undeserving of all the attention people give you and all the love. But mom I hope you know that you deserve the world and all the goodness it has to offer. And you deserve all the love and attention and happiness. I hope you’re safe and happy wherever you are and I love you so much.