Hello everyone, my name is Phil Lovelady. Bette Bass, Sandy Hughes, Marcia Lovelady and I were travelers together in Italy, Spain, Slovenia, and Croatia from 2005 to 2016, always for a month at a time, going where we wanted, traveling out from a shared apartment in a different place each week. Our approach was planned, yet playful, always taking roads less traveled, experiencing amazing places, gracious people, returning often to little restaurants we loved, rewarded with laughter, local wine, homemade Lemoncello or Grappa, shared around at night’s end.
Bette was our sweet ambassador, opening friendly contact and conversation, always so full of fun, showing genuine appreciation for people and excellent food, the food probably given a little extra care, because of her smile.
In Rome, after walking hot streets for many days, and seeing every church built and statue carved by Borromini and Bernini, Bette soon called each one another ‘Borromini Weenie’. We kept going even when exhausted, learning the importance of expression, perception and passion, and also the price of personal persecution or acceptance because of art. It was worth every step. Her favorite was Moses in Chains, a huge statue of the prophet chained to a throne, his back to the Vatican, hidden away in a corner of Rome. She loved it. She even got locked inside, all alone with Moses. Who else could say that?
And then there was the time little Bette stood face to face with the tall and stately Commander of the Italian Presidential Guard, with a white plume on his helmet, at the Imperial Palace. He had ordered her to halt, bringing the full Guard to attention with rifles and bayonets at ready because of a terrorist threat to the President, yet she continued to question him about the band concert we had come to see. Here, she taught us about being calm and persistent, staying focused on the goal, even when faced with adversity.
Along the way we followed dirt roads into sunflowers fields, where we escaped and played for hours among huge, open yellow flowers, sharing freedom, respect for simplicity, natural beauty, pure joy and fear of bees.
I finally learned the letters CP were Bette’s abbreviation for Cutie Pie. In Venice, the CP owner of the restaurant below our apartment, had told her white wine would cure her cold, and it did, so each evening we would stop in for a bottle before dinner, paying for it later, as we ended up eating there every night, as we all learned the power of a welcoming smile, friendship, laughter, pride in one’s work, the magic of perfect pasta and fresh clams, and of course, the importance of white wine as a universal pharmaceutical.
In Umbria, we learned the brilliance of thin crust stone-fired pizza, the passion of fresh vegetables grown just outside the kitchen, picked and cooked at the last moment before the meal, and then in Croatia the importance of trusting your waiter with the suggestion of black-ink risotto that has no worldly comparison in delicate exuberance of taste. ‘Trust Your Waiter’ became our mantra. And it worked. Trust each other, and trust your waiter – all for one, and one for all, everyone in this adventure together.
We walked ancient streets in hilltop villages, were invited into people’s homes, and into a small neighborhood church by an old parish priest, proud of ancient frescos bright in color, newly uncovered under white-washed walls, who then played Bing Crosby’s White Christmas for us in July, the only English CD he owned, as Bette and Sandy tried without success, to subdue their laughter so they wouldn’t embarrass the poor Italian priest.
And Bette could be a little obsessive at times, in a very funny way, which she would also laugh at herself. And I admit, I loved to get her going. I remember once asking innocently, “Exactly what color is chartreuse”? Bette’s first response, ‘Who the fuck cares?” but then, the teacher, defining the word, and sighting so many outlandish examples and color variables, we were soon laughing so hard it was difficult to breathe, which, of course, led to an equally hilarious discussion of the color “Puce”. She was so much fun.
Bette was born on December 2 and left us on December 21, 73 years later. She left us surrounded by the amazing love of everyone here today. She felt your presence. Your love gave her courage, through her illness and also when she was ready to leave.She lived each day and then she left us, in her own way. The way she wanted. She was so truly blessed by each of you.
December 21 is a very special day, with this year the convergence of planets, two bright stars leading the way to the heavens, but also the Winter Solstice, the day the earth again begins its journey back around the sun, a spiritual and philosophic day, first day of winter, with the shortest amount of daylight of the entire year, a short day made bright by people decorating their homes and warmly opening their hearts to welcome the promise of Christmas.
December 21 is now Bette’s day. It is also my birthday. We are the same age. It is my honor to share this day with her, our dear friend, for now we will always start each year as travelers again, so grateful, joyous, laughing, always in celebration of each journey in this wonderful life on earth.
Thank you, Bette, for traveling through life with us, teaching us so much about curiosity, compassion, beauty, laughter and love.
We love you, and will miss you always, a true CP, sweet Elizibetta.
