Memorial letter written by Caroline Morgan.
I met him in the fall of 1973 in Washington, DC. Area. He lived in old town Alexandria, and I lived just over the line in Fairfax, Virginia. We met at a party at his apartment complex. My friend and I saw these two older men at the other side of the room. I told my friend, let’s move to that side and see if we can attract them. We moved and smiled at them and they came over. I was attracted to the one with the bright blue eyes. Later that night he invited me to join him the next day to his companies bowling party at the pizza joint. I didn’t know that night that this was the beginning of my ride.
My third date with him was quite unusual. He asked me out for dinner and a movie, but also asked if he could come over earlier to see something on TV before our date. I thought it was unusual, but agreed. Well, he arrives in these ugly orange socks, a poster in his hand and a six-pack of beer. He proceeds to empty my small dining room table and rolls out a poster of some orange tower. He puts a beer at each corner to hold the poster down. Then he tries to get some football game on the TV. When he could not find it, he becomes agitated. My roommate who was going to go shopping decided to stay for my safety. In the end he explains to me that he was trying to find the UT football game on TV, that those socks were not orange but burnt orange and that was the UT tower. That was the beginning of my journey of learning how much he loved his university.
As our relationship progressed, we introduced to each other new interests. I took him to art museums and he took me to air shows. I joined his bowling team and he joined my group of friends who liked to ski. He instantly got hooked to the sport. We join a group of friends that were renting an old farmhouse in Blue Knob, Pa. I assumed we would go once a month, but he wanted to go every weekend so he could improve his skiing ability. One of those weekends he decides to Nastar Race.. I have already run my race and got a bronze. It was now his turn to race. He looks at the racecourse with his engineering mind and sees that he really doesn’t have to go around the poles, but straight through them. He got a gold. He was so proud of himself. He acted as a puffed up male peacock, strutting around with his gold medal on his jacket.
In 1976 after almost three years of dating, he asks me some questions. First, would I be willing to live in Texas. I said yes. Second, he told me he wanted a son and that he wanted to name him Ellis. Would I agree and I did, even thou in my mind I thought that might be foolish because there is no guaranteed in having boys. Lastly, I would always help him with his mother who had been very kind to him. I said, yes. He proposed to me just before we caught a ski bus to Killington, Vermont.
We got married in Reading, Pa. in 1976. We had a wedding reception in Reading, Pa. and a party in Dallas to meet his friends. When I arrived in Dallas it was 110 degrees. The hot air hits my face when I get off the plane. Now I start regretting saying yes to my first question. He had taken me to a land of heat where I thought I might be cooked and broiled. Then I met his college friends at the party. They were insane, crazy and nuts. One even told me he was a leprechaun- five feet tall, had some gold dust in his pocket and a magic feather. Later in life I fell in love with their individual personalities and antics. They became the best friends you could ever have.
One month later after our marriage, we move to Texas. He gets a job with Atlanta Research in San Antonio, TX to do finite element on off shore rig platforms. After moving there, we start driving to Austin for the UT games. Once again I am soon going to have another cultural shock. I walk into this stadium and see this sea of burnt orange. People are yelling TX fight and what ever else they wanted to yell. The first game we went to so happened to be the University of Virginia, my graduate school. University of Virginia has a walk on team. Why were they playing a national team. When the score got to be 90 to 0, UT puts in their third string. University of Va. Finely starts moving the ball down the field. I stand up and yell Wahoo, the Va. yell. His friends start laughing so hard I thought some might fall out of the upper deck. At that time I never thought I would ever love UT football, but now I am one of those crazy sports fan yelling as hard as the rest with Ellis.
In 1978 our son Ellis was born. I thought to myself, my second promise has been answered. Why did I have dreams of having five girls? In 1979 we moved to Austin- his life’s dream to work and live in Austin. He got a job with Tracor to do counter measures. This job lasted just two years when he tells me he wants to start his own company. He starts Structural Analysis, Inc. and develops MTAB Stress software. He was so driven at this time. He would get up in the middle of the night and drive to his office and write finite element software programs. These were his productive years. In 1994 he sells it and just does consulting.
Back to 1978, Ellis wanted to get his private pilot license. He had always wanted to be an astronaut, but becoming a pilot would be acceptable. He took lessons and got his license fairly quickly. We started taking short trips. I had to have a pile of maps on my lap. Find the train tracks down there. Look for that crossroad. We would bounce along in the hot summer heat because he did not have his instrument license. Later this journey of owning a plane has taken us to joining a flying club that gave us a chance to fly over Cuba to Grand Cayman, fly to Cabo San Lucas, over the Rocky Mountains to our cabin in Gunnison, Colorado many a time and many other places in the US. His flying has taken us thru storms, icing conditions, turbulence that you felt you were in a washing machine. He loved ever minute of it. We sold the plane last year and I know my fingernail prints are in the armrests.
Another mutual interest we had was traveling. He had grown up moving many times as a child because his dad was an engineer who built. They would move from project to project. One year they went to Iraq. His father was building a dam in the Northern part of the Kurdish area. He loved it there because he could ride horses in the mountains and not do much school work. He lost a year of school because of that, so his parents sent him to the American Community School in Beirut. This school was a blessing because his math teacher told him how gifted he was in physics. No teacher had told him this before. This helped him figure out what he wanted to do in life in the field of science and the experience of living in Beirut gave him the knowledge that he always wanted to travel. Our whole family has been on many cruises with friends from the Caribbean to the Mediterranean, Baltic, and the Aegean Sea. I am now so glad we started many years ago.
To finally close, I want to say that he had a shorter life than he wanted, but it was a full life. He got in most of what he wanted to do, had a great family, friends and relatives.
I also want to thank a few people personally who got me thru the last few years of our journey with Ellis. When your love one is diagnosed with dementia, you want to keep it quiet so they can keep their dignity. The caretaker usually let’s a few people into the true life.
The ones that helped me stay sane are- Jeanne Malkani-who I could visit as often as I wanted and she would listen and comfort me, Sarah Sheads who got me out of my depression when he was in the difficult paranoid stage, Terry Barnes –my neighbor who would come and help me whenever something broke-he even would drop everything and come running to help me-, another neighbor Suzanna Sugarman who would get Ellis and say Ellis let’s walk the dogs or she would do other touching things for him, my sister in law Martha Baker who would come and spend time with her brother and this in turn would allow me to meet with friends and not worry, my brother who gave me strength, Charlie Wooten- who helped me thru the difficult times and gave Ellis a party this memorial day weekend with his college buddies, and lastly our wonderful children-Katie and Ellis K. They were always helping and were there till the end.
So in closing, he is up there in heaven in his ugly burnt orange socks, wearing his UT shirt and as one friend said, painting heaven burnt orange.