Prim and Proper In April, 2014, De Emma in his wisdom, deemed it fit to invite me over to his residence, with my younger brother. The emphasis was on the deteriorating situation of our mother’s health, which by all means, required some attention. That necessitated my embarking on a trip to Umuahia city, to visit with her, and ensure that every other thing was adequately attended to.
Upon my return during the Easter break, my wife and children were already away, visiting with her sisters. That gave me an ample opportunity to put down my experience of the trip in black and white, and I eventually came up with a Non-Fiction, which has been entered in for an international literary competition in South Africa on African Literature, to be announced sometimes in May of this year.
I had a herculean task in picking a good title for the book. That led me into scanning through the pages, and checking the story, paragraph by paragraph, for a befitting title. It was not an easy thing to accomplish. Not when you have a protagonist as Barrister Emmanuel Uche, in a non-fiction. Something happened, though. My attention was taken to the very last chapter of the book, as though an inner voice was ministering to me. In the search, as I continued, I got to the phrase ‘Prim and Proper’, and heard a resounding confirmation from the inner man, in my humble way, that that should be the title of the book. The task was accomplished. Now, excerpts.
“Mekaa kept planning on a day to report back to Uncle Manuel, as was the custom of the Igbo people, since he was the one who convened the meeting that led to his travelling home. Though, he had already planned to travel the moment he got a chance at his place of work, before Uncle Manuel’s invitation. Within himself, he wanted to be sure that he had exhausted all possible efforts on his part, to seeing that everything went as should, before appearing before their uncle. This was because, Uncle Manuel was a very meticulous person, who would want things done as close as possible, to perfection. His impeccability had always made him to stand out among the rest, in behaviour and attitude. One thing with him was that, he would never fail to pinpoint the true facts, concerning whatever situation that was being analyzed at the moment. While you may think he had to overlook certain issues, he would tell you point blank that such could have been done in a better way, by someone of your age and educational qualification. Such an attitude of critical analysis that is devoid of eye-service or face-service, as it was often referred to in this part of the world, was one major thing that had endeared him into everyone’s heart, including Mekaa. He was a man of prim and proper…..Mekaa, therefore, had to actually carry out a self-appraisal, and even a total event-audit, involving the entire scenario of travelling home, and the actions emanating therefrom. He couldn’t help but conclude, that everybody involved had done the best within their means. Call it sincere motives. He therefore prayed in his heart, that God should help them in making their efforts be accepted in good faith, by everyone who got the opportunity to analyze the situation at hand……..”- Prim and Proper, pgs 70-71.
I became conscious of De Emma around 1972, when our mother was the principal of Ibiam High School, Uwana, Afikpo. I remember the stories of their involvement in the civil war (he, and all the young men of the extended family,and the community at large), and knew better why I didn’t notice him all along, during the civil war. He was patriotically involved in salvaging the dignity of his Motherland.
On one of such days, a Sunday, when we were at the village, we returned from the church, only to meet a large number of visitors in the house. Da Oyirim, our great grandmother, was unusually lying on a bed. I tried to enquire from our mother, why the large number of people in the house; and why everyone was staring at her as she slept?. Why shouldn’t they go back to their homes and allow us to have some peace in our own home. This was because, their presence disturbed my peace, as it were.
I remember that Deede and every other person smiled, as they tried hard to explain the situation to me, which was not sinking either. I moved from one part of the house to another, looking for a place of privacy. And, where else could I get that, but in uncle Emma’s room. It was something else. The house was a mud house alright, with thatch-roof. But, it would take the angels to convince you that his room was part of it. This was because, there was a tint-nylon ceiling, with floor to roof tiles of paper magazines that made the room look like a private abode of the American president. A testimony to his impeccable nature.
About 1974, he got a job at Ishiagu, as an auxiliary teacher, after having worked for his alma matter, the Evangel High School, in same capacity earlier, before gaining admission into the University of Ibadan, to study Sociology in 1975. The send-Off (send-forth) ceremony was something out of this world. I think, that was the first time I would say, that I experienced our uncle as being owned by others, much more than us. This was because, at that ceremony, the community hall was filled to the brim, with overflows. Most people that came, were from afar. I think, more of Evangel High School, Old Umuahia ex-students, with the entire community of the Assemblies of God Church. As though, a young president was being honoured. We had come from Owerri for the ceremony.
It was the first time I heard the song “Praise the Lord, Oh Sing o Sing o, Praise the Lord ….”. At one corner with my sister Chidimma, tears were rolling down our eyes, because It sounded as though, rapture was about to take place, and no one was going to ever see him again. Many years later as I grew older, each time I reminisced on that occasion, it was clearer to me that De Emma was destined to be a Man of the People. Cherished and admired by all.
After his first degree, he earned a scholarship, that saw him through his Masters, then a degree in Law, at the University of Lagos. He also added many more laurels and accolades, after this.
It won’t be out of place to mention that, during his growing-up years as a young man, several ladies would often come to the house, maybe, with an inner desire that he would take any of them as his wife. (Who wouldn’t, anyway, desire to be identified with such a young man of excellence and brilliance). But, I remember a certain lady that looked different from the rest, whom I always saw about once in a year, that I heard, worked in Lagos. There was also some story connecting her and her family with Calabar. To be candid, she had charm and gait.
She never missed visiting our uncle during the Christmas seasons, which was about the only time she would come home. One unique thing about her, was that she always came with a Christmas gift and a card, every year. I heard a connecting story of our uncle being her teacher at the Evangel High School, and I knew it must have been a case of one having the other as a Role Model, and an Alter Ego. That, I realized later in life. The truth of the matter was that, she was so charming, that even as a little boy, I admired her, though, from a distance. It wasn’t a surprise, when years later, she brushed all the others aside, to become the chosen one. In my heart, I was one of those that congratulated our uncle, for a choice well made.
De Emma, was a man of excellent character, who never allowed any form of sentiment to guide his actions. He spoke the truth as it truly is. An individual who had cleanliness running in his veins and arteries. A trait I think, they acquired from grandma, their mother, late Madam Felicia Uche. He was a man who never allowed his faith to be swayed by any contrary situation, no matter what. A man who would give you the wisest counsel ever, be it in marriage, career or religious concepts. A man who was totally and completely sold out to his God, and the teachings he got about Him, right from his youth. A man who never violated, nor defiled his faith, all his life. Sometimes, I often wondered why and how he didn’t eventually be a founder of a church ministry. But, I guess, it was because he was too sold out and deeply absorbed by the doctrines of his denomination, the Assemblies of God Church, that such an idea didn’t cross his mind. I don’t think that he ever missed any Bible Classes, or Prayer Meetings, literarily, in all of his lifetime
A man I started admiring right from my infant days. Whom I knew, by all means, was my role model and alter ego, but whose standards and limits, I probably could not catch up with, and had to fall by the way side. The legacies he has left behind, will speak volumes for generations to come. The testimonies from the mouth of people, will last for decades. His love for academic and intellectual advancement, not to mention his love for behavioural astuteness, will embellish his soul in the minds of all. He will always be the All-Round-Hero of the times. Even my colleagues at work, who had heard stories of him over the years, could not hold their tears, when they heard of his transition.
He may be a great loss to mankind. But, I’m convinced beyond any reasonable doubt in my heart, that he is a great asset to heaven.
Adieu Deede. I hope to be able to catch up with the tracks you blazed through, even as you rest in the bosom of the Lord.
