49 years
happy birthday , my special sweet son. I love you.
Christmas
Merry Christmas my beloved brother and best friend. You are so missed by us all especially during this time as you loved this holiday. You're boys are doing well now but I know this is a difficult time for them as they miss all you did... the love and generosity you shared.
Christmas 2018
Eric, Saturday we visited Jeff City..It never gets easier.However, we did see those precious little greats of mine.Also Andrew & Brandon. You will be so proud of them.After a real struggle, your boys have "rounded the corner"! They will forever miss you. As i will. Time heals nothing, God helps me get thru each day...each hour...i miss you
New Year
How can it be one year that we put you to rest for eternity? I just don't get it??? Time goes fast however this is crazy..Willie came out with a new song.........."it's not something you get over,, but it's something you get through'. those words could not be more appropriate right now....Eric, why did this have to happen like this? I feel so lost and lonely......I love and miss you so very much, my son.
Into the next year.....
Time goes fast, however days go slow. How can this already be into the second year of Eric's death....The pain hasn't changed and I guess I really do not want it too much. That is I do not ever or will not ever forget my son. I talked to and about him when he was living, why should all of that stop now?
the week that was.....
Here we are, going back to your last days on this earth....How can this be. this is so true and beautiful.... SPEAK THEIR NAME
SOMEONE I LOVE HAS GONE AWAY
AND LIFE IS NOT THE SAME
THE GREATEST GIFT THAT YOU CAN GIVE
IS JUST TO SPEAK THEIR NAME
I NEED TO HEAR THE STORIES
AND THE TALES OF DAYS GONE PAST
I NEED FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND
THESE MEMORIES MUST LAST.
WE CAN NOT MAKE MORE MEMORIES
SINCE THEY'RE NO LONGER HERE
SO WHEN YOU SPEAK OF THEM TO ME
IT'S MUSIC TO MY EARS.
Thanks to my sweet little god-girl, ANNA, for sending this to me.
it is so very true. We spoke to and about you in life, why does death have to end that.It doesn't and will not.
March 2018
Eric, I miss you more today, than yesterday and less than I will tomorrow. It is March, now my son, and soon you will have been gone ONE YEAR....The year has gone so so fast, yet some days just drag on. March 7, 1972 was such a happy day for our family and now we mourn as we come to the end of the month. You were also baptized this month. And now, your death has left us empty and lost.
Eric, in Haiti
I am not sure of the year, but Eric was on a peacekeeping mission to Haiti. I remember he told me that the hardest thing for him, (he said it still brings tears to his eyes) were the little kids. They were so ragged and dirty but worse than that they were hungry. Eric said, in spite of it being "against the rules", they would throw their MRE's out to the kids. He said it was like Christmas for them. They would run along the truck and squeal with delight when they got a box. Eric,, you were always such a caring soul.
PAY-IT-FORWARD
Eric was always thinking of others. He called me one day to tell me about his experience at MacDonalds. He was in the drive-thru with cars behind him. He told the person at the window he wanted to pay for the car behind him. I can still hear him on the phone. "Mom, God was with me for sure. I had only $10. and that was the bill for the car behind me. Mom, I know God did that. I would of felt so bad if I had not had enough money". That was Eric. His son had friend who had died. Eric knew the boys mom was struggling to pay for her washer and dryer. Eric contacted people to help and with his good heart delivered the washer and dryer to the lady. When we were in the hospital with Eric, the lady and her daughter came there and thru tears told me how much they loved my son.
Send in the Clowns
Oh Eric, not remembering too much how it all started, however, you would tease me about the song...Send in the Clowns....I think I had some thing that played the song and would sing along. Then you would say."Mom" and you would sing Send in the Clowns...Just heard it on a Carol Burnett tape and of course, you came to mind immediately. I sure miss all the silly things you would say and do.. :( The other night a skater on the Olympic try outs was skating to BRING IN THE CLOWNS !!! :(
Paulie Shore
Eric loved Paulie Shore. We were living in Santa Maria, California. Eric's idol was coming to town. My son worked for weeks to liken a pair of jeans like Paulie jeans. Eric, never the shy one, was at the Mall hours before Shores arrival. Of course there were hundreds of people, but I don't think there were any with the replica "Paulie Shore jeans". Eric, never being shy, got up on the stage . It has been many years ago and all of the details have escaped me. Sad to say Eric is not here for me to ask. I do remember and can see him in minds eye, that happy sparkle in his eyes up there with Paulie Shore....