ForeverMissed
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His Life

Hallie's Eulogy for Her Brother

February 28, 2020
Good afternoon, and thank you all so much for being here with us this afternoon to celebrate the life of my brother, Evan.

This is definitely not how we expected to be spending this Monday afternoon.  But life has a way of changing our plans and forcing us to concentrate on what is right in front of us, so on behalf of our family, we thank you all for being here with us today.

Those of us who knew and loved Evan, knew he wasn’t perfect, as none of us are.  He could be the most stubborn, argumentative soul on the planet, and in the blink of an eye, stop in mid-sentence to tell you how much he loved you.  He was often torn between the softer side of his heart – the side that knew how much good there was in this world – and the darker side that often overtook him.  But the thing about Evan was: he never stopped looking for answers.  He reached out to his friends and family to try and gain a perspective on things that troubled him.  And as frustrating as his point of view could be at times, I will miss those long talks with him.

My brothers and I were all born and raised in Southern California, until we moved to Hoover to live with our dad in 1995.  It was during our California days that Evan discovered his love of rap music, and very specifically, the lyrics of the group, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony.  I’ll be honest, we all kind of rolled our eyes when he announced in his teens that he was going to be a rapper (and insisted we call him Ev-N-Bone for a time), but if you ever had the privilege of reading some of Evan’s poetry, you’d know he was a truly gifted lyricist, expressing himself beautifully and authentically with these glimpses into his soul through the written word.

Besides his first love, which was definitely rap music, Evan was a lover of all things Star Wars, and all things Ninja Turtles.  On any given Christmas, he could be found having light saber wars with our youngest brother, Joel, while wearing a Ninja Turtle t-shirt.  Truly a big kid at heart, he was also a special favorite to my five kids, who bestowed their Uncle Evan with the nickname of “Unc-a-Junk,” a title he dearly loved.

My brother, Evan, was an alumni of the Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center, where he was introduced to the 12-step philosophy and recovery way of life.  The men he met there were so near and dear to his heart.  They not only helped him overcome the addiction demons he faced, but were also able to help him find a God of his understanding.  Don’t get me wrong, Evan still questioned, well, EVERYTHING, but the perspective from his “Sally boys” gave him a strong, stabilizing foundation that allowed him to reconnect with his spiritual side, and helped him get through a very dark time in his life.

Evan was blessed to have family that loved him on both sides of the country, both in Alabama and California.  He traveled back and forth often, but eventually settled down here in Hoover, where he shared an apartment with Joel and got on with the business of life.  He worked as an assistant manager in the retail industry, met his sweetheart, Tiffany, and had a bright future ahead when tragedy struck.  Last Tuesday, he went to sleep in the arms of the girl he loved, and never woke up.  His heart was simply too big for this world.  Despite valiant efforts of the Center Point Fire Department and the emergency staff at St. Vincent’s East, he never regained consciousness, and our world was forever changed. 

There is a Native American saying: “joy shared is doubled, and sorrow shared is halved”.  As you share our sorrow with your presence here today, the burden of grief becomes just a bit easier to bear.  So again, on behalf of our entire family, please know how grateful we are to have you here to share this celebration with us.  We ask that you keep us in your prayers, and remember to share as many “Evan stories” as you can think of. 

For it is in the storytelling that the memories of our loved ones live on.

Thank you so much.