This is not exactly a tribute, but seems the place for community communication. So I will add it here...

Totally by chance today I happened upon a Ted Talk entitled "What I learned from my husband's suicide.” It was hard to listen to, but I now feel that perhaps I have a greater understanding of Forbes and the hell he may have been going through. I know that many of us have been shocked and bewildered and even angered by what happened. I urge you to listen to this. I would like to hear your reactions, whether you may have sensed this or see things quite differently. Perhaps you have other insights to share. I do believe my brother died of a broken heart, exacerbated by physical ailments (heart issues, neuropathy which kept him off the golf course) and the isolation of covid. I now suspect that he was dealing more with deep grief than depression from losing Marilyn, and that, try as he might, he just could not hold back the exhausting and unrelenting upwellings of tearful emotion... I think, more than anything, we all seek understanding… to this seemingly inexplicable, yet forever excruciating loss...​

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb_1IklnhaU

I must add this song once more for you my dear dear friend... I miss you more than my words can express. There will never be another like you☮️ I will continue clinging to the memories https://www.facebook.com/scott.willis.771/posts/2761901097253865

My wife and I were talking last night and she asked" I wonder where Forbes is?" That is when I learned of his death. We were all friends at BU. I roomed with Forbes on Pearl Street in Cambridge for two years. We did not connect after I graduated but I often thought of him and now miss him. Rob and Cindy Doyle

I just found this from Forbes who wrote: "Eugene O’Neill eloquently expressed my passion for sailing."

“I lay on the bowsprit, facing astern, with the water foaming into spume under me, the masts with every sail white in the moonlight, towering high above me. I became drunk with the beauty and singing rhythm of it, and for a moment I lost myself—actually lost my life. I was set free! I dissolved in the sea, became white sails and flying spray, became beauty and rhythm, became moonlight and the ship and the high dim-starred sky! I belonged, without past or future, within peace and unity and a wild joy, within something greater than my own life, or the life of Man, to Life itself!”

This is what is type-written, pasted on the same page as the above quote:
"When I am 'out there' alone at night, I feel such a deep emotional connection to the magnificent, ethereal beauty of the domed, starit sky... at once so overwhelmed and insignificant yet feeling I truly have place and am a part of this infinite ink."

Forbes and I had never met in person.
We started to connect with each other over conversations when he would call to order honey.
That shifted into letter writing and sending gifts to each other.
Forbes sent me a picture of himself just a few weeks before he passed- and I was so blessed to finally put a face to this man that I so adored.
My dear dear friend Forbes was a shining light in this world. I always felt so grateful that I knew he was out there far from me, making the world a better place and I could count on him as a kindred spirit as we walked through this sometimes uniquely challenging world.
I think of him all of the time.
I know that his extraordinariness is shared by all of us and he left a legacy that will continue to inspire us to do the very same that he did - lift up the light so we remember that we are all in this together and who we are and what we do matters.
We can never know why he left us far too soon, it's not ours to know, but this I do know- his love, his deep care and seeing the intrinsic value in all things has moved me deeply and I will carry it with me every single day for the rest of my life.
May we all continue to be blessed by the reminders of him in our hearts.

Love

It’s caught up with me-
all the looking at photos
of your handsome face,
all the looking back,
(the way you have
filled these days)
and I find a heavy flower
is blooming in my heart today.

I guess it gives me solace
that you had someone
for so long, in your life
who you loved so much
that you could not bear
the pain of parting.

It helps me to know
from reports of your friends
that you had so much fun
with her and that you shared
many good times together.
I am grateful to her for
loving you so well.


Jan Voorhis 11/20

Forbes's obituary was published on 25 November in the following papers: the Boston Globe, the Salem News, the Monadnock Ledger (Peterborough NH), and the Capital Gazette (Annapolis). A long form is posted under "LIFE" above. Please feel free to add to the different chapters of his life.

I am sharing this tribute to Forbes, written on October 9th by his good friend and golf partner Carl McCrary (with his kind permission). Most people are given tributes after their death. Carl gave this moving tribute to Forbes several weeks before he passed. With heartfilled gratitude to you Carl...

My good friend Forbes, what a very well written and powerful piece that you’ve shared. I appreciate your understanding, our friendship and your diverse spirit. From the first time we met at Annapolis Roads GC back in 2002, we connected and have great times on and off the golf course. If more folk can be open, caring, concerned and as diverse in building relationships, partnerships and friendships, this World would be a much better place.
Your FFL
Carl M

This is a portion of the piece Carl was referring to, written by Forbes and shared on his email thread October 8.

 Kamala Harris focuses our attention that we, as Americans, ought to be beyond ethnic-racial stereotypes and categories, beyond the black & white binary identity which only perpetuates our ethnic-racial illiteracy and unconscious bias.
 Clearly, bound by black & white categories in a racially charged culture diminishes the opportunity for each one of us to engage in a color blind consciousness, to embrace humankind with kindness and understanding rather than judgements based on color or ethnicity. For example, 2008, the question whether Barack Obama was black enough was raised in a political context. The absurdity of that notion is not worth further discussion. Suffice to say the black/white characterization prejudged Obama in stark racist terms but fortunately voters recognized character over color, stature over racial stereotype and he was elected president.  
 Kamala Harris' narrative harkens back to what we imagine America to be. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness that is our Unalienable Rights which is the promise of America. We, the people want to see that become a reality and is the slender thread of hope.

Forbes

Another night has ended early
and consciousness will not
be dropped back
into the dark satchel of sleep.

I step out on the front porch
illuminated by the waning moon.
A huge falling star drops in the East,
then another, arcing towards a rising Venus
and the unknowable emptiness on the far side of Earth.

I sit and surrender into that starry black vastness,
watching as it slowly gives way to light
and wonder where you are now,
our large falling star, in the grand mystery of life.

Jan Voorhis      11/9/20

Devastating news to those of us who so loved and admired Forbes. Beyond being a friend, he was a role model for me in so many respects even though he never wanted to hear stuff like that. He was a man of conviction and deep purpose, especially for all things environment. I am so sorry I never met Marilyn. They must have been quite a team. His love for her was evident every time Forbes and I had a conversation. Now he is with her again. A blessing. On behalf of my wife Tina and the Morris family and all those connected with the Quebec-Labrador Foundation, I want to express my deepest sympathy to Lysa and Daphne. They have been through enough in this difficult year. Something on which we can all agree: we need more individuals like Forbes Leland at this time.

Forbes Leland Memorial thoughts
We met Forbes through Marilyn 30 years ago, We were social friends for dinner or at happy hour at AYC.. They had a beautiful sail boat they kept
at Tecumseh. We remember the tragic accident that occurred in
Charleston harbor that injured his fingers. He was a survivor and and a fighter
through adversity

Forbes was a contrarian thinker who you tended to look up to because of his towering size and intellectual capacity.  Whenever we met we always looked forward to discussing the latest news of the day. His upbeat demeanor and engaging conversation was the highlight of many of Friday Night Happy Hours at AYC. Forbes always greeted us with a smile and had a tendency to look you square in the eye when he talked to you to let you know he was paying attention.  He sought out knowledge and honed his learning skills throughout the time I had known him

He and Marilyn attended the local college for business and literature courses and was active in the pier to pier learning program at AACC. He love reading and was somewhat of a thespian, having a flair for the dramatics. He had a wonderful speaking voice and had the ability to stay in character at costume parties, like our yearly Halloween parties and the accompanying TEA Party costume.. 

Our fondest memory of Forbes was the love, caring and devotion he had shown for the love of his life (Marilyn) . He gave new meaning to the vow "for better or worse til death due us part".  He lived by that sacred promise to the very end. Forbes we will always remember you and miss you, rest in peace with you love.

The, “Gentle Giant” has left us. A small group of us in Cambridge back in the sixties relied on Forbes to keep the peace when parties got too wild. He was always a gentleman and a kind soul. He lives on somewhere within all those who knew him. Goodby Forbes, keep the wind at your back always.

My golf partner and good friend for 18 yrs. I’ll miss our greats times on and off the course. Your friendship meant the world to me, as we always mentioned, how we didn’t really have such close male friendships in our lives. I’ll miss our philosophical and thought provoking conversation and the articles you always sent me. You taught me so many things about golf, life, relationships and I learned so much from your knowledge and experiences. What a well versed, intellectual, kind and caring gentleman you were. Forbes always believed in diversity and fairness for all, down to his last days, by the emails and thoughts he shared with us. Our friendship was invaluable and will continue to resonate in my thoughts and heart. You will be well missed and I will keep you on my golf bag forever!
Much love to you my dear friend Forbes!
Carl M ☺️

I got to know Forbes only recently when I took his wonderful class “American Myth and Western Movies” in the Fall of 2019. I had met Marilyn that summer. Forbes was such a lovely, kind man! I was looking forward to more classes with him through PLP, when I returned this March. But the PanDAMNic (as he called it) intervened. But somehow I was added on to his email lists in June and I enjoyed reading many thought provoking missives until the last one I received on 11/2. I want to share a poem that brings Forbes and his dear Marilyn to mind (written by Robert Burns):
As fair art thou, my Bonnie lass,
So deep in love am I;
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry.
Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt with the sun;
I will love thee still, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run.

My deepest condolences to Forbes’ sisters, Lysa and Daphne. He would have loved this loving Tribute Page you set up for him.
I have this image:
A little boat carrying your dear Forbes departs from the shore. With sadness we watch as it sails over the horizon...at the opposite shore a crowd has gathered as the little boat approaches. “Here he is” they cry as Forbes walks into their loving arms... (with thanks to Nancie Dunn in Vermont for the inspiration) ❤️

This one’s for you Forbes ❤️https://www.facebook.com/scott.willis.771/posts/2761901097253865

What a beautifully written Obituary tribute to Forbes by you Lysa, and Daphne.

It brought back fond and beautiful memories of my 30 plus years knowing Forbes.
He shared all that you wrote with me over the years I've known him...he recently told me that I was the oldest friendship of his in Annapolis.

In fact, he shared that I was the first friend that he made when he moved here.

I last saw him a week before he transitioned, his hair was much longer than usual (Covid lockdown) and I called him Funky Unk...he laughed.

He told me that going through his grief was harder than he thought it would be...my heart broke for him.

Forbes was my best male friend and I shall cherish his memory. He was truly a man of integrity, and a moral compass...a gentleman and the best man I've ever met. His name should be in the dictionary in describing the meaning of the word "Gentleman".

He had the utmost respect for Women, and would have made a great spokesperson from a man's perspective for the #Metoo movement.

I find comfort in the writings by "Pema Chodron" to whom Forbes introduced me, the first being...

" You are the Sky... everything else is just the Weather"

Rest in peace my dear friend ❤️

November 14, 2020
Gale soroka lit a candle
“In loving memory of Allan Forbes Leland, Forbes, life will never be the same without you...I so enjoyed your humor, your kindness, your love of life and your generosity ...all enjoyed by so many. As they say when someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. God bless you and your family. I hope you’re in heaven dancing again with Marilyn. ❤️❤️You’ve taken a part of my heart with you. Love, Gale May your heart and soul find peace and comfort.”

MARILYN

Scattering of Her Ashes
   on
   Chesapeake Bay

Don't shed tears that I am gone.
Smile because I lived.

Don't close your eyes and pray for me.
Open your eyes and see all that I left.

My children; Robin, Rick and Karen
My grandchildren; Justin and Zach
My great-grandchildren; Layla, London & Jackson

Your hearts may be sad because I am not here now.
Know that my heart was full of love for all of you

Smile, laugh and be joyful.
Live life to the fullest, I did


Marilyn spoke this
through me.
Forbes

This is a comforting piece Forbes particularly liked.
Played at Marilyn's service.

Yo-Yo Ma - "Meditation" (J.Massenet)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JLWSdRvGwY

I am so distraught by Forbes passing. And I loved reading the tribute you shared. It is always both fortunate and unfortunate that when someone passes is when you learn all the different facets of a person from their different walks in life. I wish I had gotten to spend more time with him.

Marilyn was my father’s cousin, so my family was honored to know Forbes for 30 years! What an angel, gentle soul, and deep man. He was so good to my Aunt Marilyn. In her later years her vision starting to fail her, and Forbes was always right by her side. I know they loved each other very deeply, and this last year was very difficult for him. We got to see both of them last year, just before Marilyn passed at my niece’s wedding in northern NJ. What a special time, and they both were so happy.

We will miss him so much in this world, but I am happy knowing he is at peace and back with his love and dancing up a storm. Sending love and warm thoughts your way.

My memorable first and last experiences with my beloved cousin Forbes was around water. I remember meeting him for the first time at a summer family reunion picnic around Willard Pond and being encouraged to go for a canoe ride with him. We paddled to the area where he thought the loons might be nesting and we talked about many things - cabbages and kings - and at that time I had both a nervous laugh being the teenager I was and an allergy that caused my ears to itch. Something he said caused me to giggle and my ears began to itch at the same time. I used to make a sort of grunting, growling sound to create a vibration to ease the itch and he was both dumbfounded and curious upon hearing it and made some ridiculous remark about not knowing there were wart hogs in this particular part of the lake. I said, sternly, trying not to giggle any more, "Those are not wart hogs, those are Wood Nymphs. They are calling out - like Sirens - to lure you into their woodlands." From that funny time I was forever after nicknamed "Wood Nymph" to him and he was "Running Wind" (in part a reference to his love of sailing) to me, with all the assorted Forbsian jokes than only he could tell.

The last time we connected face-to-face was when I was on my sailboat "AVIVA" and we were cruising south through Annapolis to what would become home in Florida later on. It was then I met Marilyn and realized how happy he had become and I so appreciated all that she meant to him. We had a lovely dinner together and upon leaving we all agreed we should 'get together again soon,' only our particular paths never allowed for that. He called me when my mother, Katharine (Kay) Gilbert died and was kind enough to share some memories which consoled me. And I did the same for him when his parents crossed over.

I am grateful we had some time in this life together; he was 'special' to me and even now I can hear him making a joke about that, too...

Sail on, Running Wind, sail on to your love and the peace you shared together.

Dear Lisa

Rufus and I genuinely loved Forbes. He sat right behind us in Jazz class and would frequently share comments with us about the artists we were discussing. Forbes was part of the “bad boys in the back row” who often sparked funny yet informative discussions with their little-known facts about jazz. Always positive, always inclusive. He led with his heart. Somehow, he and I realized Marilyn was my daughter’s patient and he had a special relationship with my daughter and all who worked in her office.

I tried to get Forbes to join with us on the Zoom gatherings some of us were doing in the absence of classes at the Annapolis Senior Center. He told me he wasn’t ready to be seen. The loss of Marilyn was still too much with him.

I was so honored to be included in what I referred to as his online salon where thinking folks gathered. It was diverse, provocative and so Forbes. To the end he led with his heart.

Like so many, my life was enriched by knowing Forbes.

Grateful for the time we had
Peace, be still
Carol Hall