Dad is buried in Riverview Cemetary in Kiowa, Ks.  Next to his father and mother - Fred and Violet Dumler

May 23, 2008

Below is just a small portion of the eulogy my brother, Dwight,  gave at Dad's memorial service. In summary Dwight provided a brief look into Dad's growing up on the farm, his successes and primarily his "genius" in raising kids.  Dwight talked about the mistakes some of us made.  One example was  my experience hitting a telephone pole at 16 - I was fine the pole didn't survive. Dad wasn't angry or critical; he just encourgaged me to get behind the wheel again or as Dwight said, "Get back in the saddle."   When Dwight was 16 Dad and Mom gave him permission to take flying lessons and he soloed at 17.  Dwight's eulogy provided a glimpse into a father who had an "elusive genius" when it came to raising his kids.  He and my mother provided us with the foundation we needed to survive and succeed in life. 

Below is the ending of Dwight's eulogy and the song he chose to go with it is at the top.  The song is  "Drive" by Alan Jackson.

"...... Whether we were "getting back in the saddle" or getting in the saddle for the first time Dad supported us......My brothers and sisters could tell many more stories like this as could I.  The significance of these stories did not hit me for a long time.

As my children, Matt and Cydney, grew I often thought about Dad and tried to put a finger on what it was he did so well.  I wanted to raise confident, self-reliant kids like he did - kids that grew up to be adults that didn't need me anymore.   

There were no speeches or grandiose statements of principle to which I could attribute Dad's success.  He didn't tell us what to do and seldom what not to do.  I knew, however, there was an elusive genius to how he raised us.  I just could not identify it.   

About two years ago I first heard a song that crystallized it for me.  The metaphorical "drive" in Alan Jackson's tribute to his father brought instant clarity.  I bought the CD that day and listened to the song several times. 

A year ago Easter weekend (April 2007) we made our customary trip to Wichita.  Over the weekend Kathy and I were taking Dad home after an outing.  As we walked up to the door, Dad, in his self-deprecating style, said, "You kids sure turned out good." and then suggested that our character traits were developed in spite of him and not because of him.  I told him that he had everything to do with it.  I told him about a song I heard and how it helped me understand how he had shaped us into the people we are today.  His expression lit up as I told the story.  I told him I would bring the CD back and play it for him sometime.  Although I returned to Wichita several times to see him in the past year, I never remembered to bring the CD.  I would like to play it for him now."

Good memories of childhood - skiing in Colorado with Dad the "Red Bomber, picture of us in San Antonio (far left),  Dwight, Dad and David relaxing in the living room.  A picture taken after church on the front lawn.  Dad's birthday around 1973.  Cheryl's High School graduation.

Pictures of Dad, kids and grandkids except for David who was out of town at the time. 

Pictures of Dad's grandchildren.  Dad's grandchildren are  developing into productive, caring and independent children/young adults who would make their grandfather proud! 

Pictures - Some of us as babies, on family trips and in the front yard.  The picture on the upper left is of me as a baby.   The lower left pictures are of Duane as a baby and when he was about 5.  The upper right hand pictures are from a family vacation to Arkansas.  We must have gone to church there because for some reason we are all dressed up.  The picture below that is of a pontoon boat trip on Beaver lake.  The picture in the lower right hand side of the page is of Dad, Dwight, Cheryl and myself in the front yard of our home.

Dad was born on a farm not far from Burlington, Oklahoma.  He grew up on the farm in the picture.  This collage of pictures includes his mother, father, brothers and a cousin along with his favorite pets - dog Jack and horse Peggy.